Do over- 6 weeks

Today marks 6 weeks since baby, it feels like it should be longer then that because it took forever to arrive at this mark.
I've been thinking recently about my labor and delivery. Have you ever wanted a do over? I've wanted a few but not many. But if I knew how everything would be I would of done things differently. Recently mainly this last pregnancy and delivery. If I knew the epidural would have stopped my contractions for sure for awhile I would of held off for a little while because even though I disliked when I felt a contraction coming I think I was handling each one pretty well! Then I would of had her sooner but still had time to put in enough meds they wanted me to have before having her. Also I would of had Spencer come back and stay with me at the hospital over night or a friend had I known Emma wasn't going to let me sleep (which I so desperately needed) then I wouldn't have been so tired and would have tried harder with actual breastfeeding. Or would I have?
This is just an example. Even though I was pretty sick while pregnant if I had pushed harder to workout and eat healthier would it have made a difference?
I think a lot of times in the moment I feel so weak or tired that it truly effects my motivation and decisions. But even if I had been well rested would I really have made different choices?
What's done is done in all past situations I've wanted a do over but you know I probably would have done the exact same things or similar anyways.
They have been journeys that have gotten me to other places in my life I may never have made it to without those trials etc.

I'm back on slowly (wish it didn't have to be slowly) getting back to where I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's hard it's very hard. I've had to try to really focus on one area and once that's back to routine add something else. But I want to just jump right back into everything but I can't it's tiring lol

3 kids has out done me. I'm forgetting more things and have to find a new routine and organize differently. Right now I'm stuck in the constant laundry and dishes and pick up routine. It's never ending lol

Right now we are trying to find the way we want to parent. But it's easier to always fall back on my old ways because it's easier even though it's not better.

Anyways enough of that here's some updates

Emma is doing great! She sleeps 6-7 hours at night and wakes up and feed her and she goes back almost right away for a few more hours. She had thrush....still kind of does. She's had constipation and yeast infection. But other then that lol she sleeps and eats pretty good. And oh my goodness we love her!

Isaac and Jackson.....we've hit a moment they wrestle a lot more with each other and talk back and throw fits. Which I don't blame them I want to too somedays. But they can also be super helpful without being asked. Theyve been growing in good and bad ways lol we are trying to listen and understand each other but it's not easy most days.

Weather has been great in the 80s mostly so we go to splash pads or parks. And mommy and daddy are fitting in eating better all around and exercising.

I feel weak which is understandable so trying to keep up daily movement to get back to how wonderful I felt over a year ago. And I crave being that way again. But here we work on patience lol

We take each day at a time and try something different when things don't work out.

If you read this far thanks for reading my babble lol