Assumption

We all do it! We assume things, we judge others. I was thinking this morning about how maybe not all of us but some watch/listen to people. We pay attention to what people say and do. Then we hear someone say something about this one or two people and do we agree with what they say or have our own idea.
I admit I assume things and judge people and yeah I am right most of the time but it doesn't make it right. Lately i've heard things about others weather I know them or not and have moved on with it. Instead of making it into a big deal I know listen to them and continue on. My life is more important then theirs. I've learned to realize that it's not always what we think. There are sometimes I hear bad things others have done but thats not my place to judge them. We all make mistakes weather I know what they did is true or not.
This is probably not about any of you BUT I thought i'd share my insight.
It's not your place or my place to judge someone. And you know it's made me realize how much I love those people and would be there for them despite their situations. =] Their human just like me and you!

On a side note it's been awhile since I have been to the temple but Friday I went! I am very thankful that I did because a peace fell over me. I knew I was in a good place and that nothing could harm me. It was like a dream and I felt good inside. I felt happy serving the Lord. Another thing that I felt was clean. I've never experienced that feeling before but it was amazing.

On another side note I got my wedding dress! =] After I tried on 4 dresses, I would of taken any of them really. The lady that helped me was Kate she was really nice. She was a peacock for Halloween which is funny since that's what i'm going with. It was really weird at first trying on a wedding dress, never done that before. David's Bridal in Provo was really helpful. I am satisfied! I would post a picture BUT my fiance would see since we reads this and I don't want him to see it! =]
If you want to see a picture email me or facebook me and i'll send you one.

Last night was AMAZINGLY fun!! Chanelle kidnapped Summer, Suki, and I and blind folded us. She drove us up to the capitol and we sat outside on a bench in the snow and ate Peanut butter and jelly sandwichs and drank mountain dew. We laughed SO much, and got some great pictures!! It was FREEZING though lol It was totally worth it though. We are the kidnapping sisters! So much fun!

Got to see most of my family yesterday too and that was really nice =]

Once again I still miss my Peacock family =] once I still that car/van i'll see you all soon!!

Just thoughts

Just some thoughts:

Friendships change- I know there are some friends I’ve had for awhile and then you’re not as good of friends. But the thing that means the most is that they still care. I talked to a friend a few days ago and helped them realize something and they liked that I cared. We’ve never hated each other really but we just never talked as much. But I knew there was a struggle going on and they needed to know someone cared. Yes, friendships change but you will always be “friends” with that person.  Let me also add that sometimes even though you have a “best friend” and you talk to them about EVERYTHING. If days go by and you guys don’t talk as much there is nothing wrong with that. Just being with them is enough, I feel. There are times when you just don’t need to say things.

Time flies- You’ve always heard the saying “time flies when your having fun” or maybe also about getting older times starts to move faster. Holy Crap is it true! I’ve always thought my days went by SO slow. Lately now that I have a pretty busy life it’s a surprise to me that it’s already the weekend or already Monday. I am keeping myself busy, and yes at work sometimes it’s really boring and slow but I try to keep myself busy. I suggest keeping yourself busy, having fun, but take time to rest so you don’t wear yourself out.

Memories- I try to always take pictures or videos to keep memories. Now if you watch “Raising hope” then you will understand this post. Do you remember those moments when you looked back on a picture from like 2 years ago or a video from when you were 4? And then you start going “Oh I remember that, what a great day.” Or “I was so cute!” You have the flash back on all the good times or even embarrassing moments. I love that! Now we also have those times, especially girls, when we say “I was so skinny back then, what happened” or the simple “I used to be so tan!” The simple fact of it all is memories! We live for awhile but we don’t always remember things until we have a trigger of a video or a picture. I honestly LOVE going back and looking at the memories I made with others. Or the changes I can see from then and now. It’s such a blessing to have deceives like video camera or a camera to capture those.

Growing up- We are constantly growing up and changing. We all grow up at different times and from different situations. I know I had to grow up a little faster than the rest of my siblings but that’s because my parents weren’t around as much so I had to learn to make choices on my own. They were there when I needed them but I was on my own a lot. There is nothing wrong with growing up; it’s actually nice to some advantage. I do have a hard time with my siblings sometimes thinking I am super young when in reality I am not that much younger because of situations I ended up falling into and had to get myself out of.  But being the younger one they will always think of me as such. I love how adults think they are all done growing up. Let me tell you a secret… your not! There are some adults that are even more immature then a 16 year old. We are always learning new things and growing from hard situations. Don’t ever think you’re done; there is something new always to be learned.

Confused/lost (drunk) - Now I am not saying I got drunk. I am just saying how there are moments when I or maybe someone else I know is lost. Not really lost from the path but where we are just confused. We don’t understand what’s going on and we feel we should. Maybe it’s because there is a missing piece to the puzzle. Either we didn’t listen the whole time or that it wasn’t ever said. I don’t like feeling confused. I relate it to being drunk because there are moments we wake up and do not remember the day before. How confused and lost must people feel when they are drunk? It must be nice to not remember what happened but also terrifying, having confusion I think is the worst though! I don’t like being lost in what’s going on.

Forgetful- Oh man forgetfulness sucks! If it’s a bad memory I understand why anyone would want to forget it but what if its not. At work for example I have things I need to remember and learn but I seemed to ALWAYS forget and maybe it’s because it only happens every now and again. It’s really embarrassing though. I have a really good friend that is very forgetful and I can see how frustrating it is. It kind of connects with being lost and confused. I remember I learned something but I always forget how to do it or why I need to. I always have to put calendar events on my phone or else I will forget something. Once again it’s just really embarrassing but you just hope people understand and give you time.

I think this is all I have for now. Anything to add or if you want my thoughts on a situation let me know….. =]

I love just thinking about these things sometimes. It keeps your brain moving and going.

Presidents day weekend

Let's see first off right now I am starting to have lows but I know why. I've been slacking on working out and reading my scriptures. Get with it Holly!!
I will make myself if I have to dang it! I have a goal that I need to look amazing for!
Besides that fact I had a FABULOUS 4 day weekend! Yes it was cramped in the car BUT it was worth it. I got to meet his sister Jessica and her husband Mike.
The Peacock family is wonderful and hilarous let me just say! =] I am marrying into a great family, as is Spencer ;)
I feel like I fit right in except for my singing as his mom pointed out. They say I'm a better singer then them but its okay because I cancel out their bad singing. haha
We left to Rexburg at about 430 A.M. Saturday morning and got there around 830 A.M. We got to see Dianne =] She was glad to see us all! We all went to tour BYU-Idaho, a few things have changed since I have been there. The consturction is done for once and that building is AMAZING looking! It about killed me walking up the stairs though. MAN I really need to kick my butt into shape!!!
We next got to visit some of Spencer's missionary companions at Sammy's restaurant. Then walked to my old roommates, Ashlees, house. It was good to see her, I had forgotten about all the bad things we had gone through with each other. I now feel terrible, I was rude! I know I still have my moments. Either way it was nice to see her!
I stepped in a few stupid puddles on the way. cuz it snowed the WHOLE time we were there about 6 inches BRR I did NOT plan well. Then we went to a wedding reception of people I did not know but it was cute and gave me some ideas. Then went back to the place we were staying to watch a movie. We were all EXHAUSTED so by lilke 1030 we all were asleep. I slept pretty dang good and woke up about 730 A.M. and got ready for sacrament meeting at Dianne's ward. It was really nice, weirdly enough ran into Jenna who is in Spencer and my's single ward haha
Then off to Yellowstone we went!!! Yay we had our red vines and our chocolates and chips. Off we adventured into the snowy drive. It took about 1 1/2 hour. We stopped at the Montana sign to take a picture, we had to climb through snow to get to it. On the way back I fell into a hole. It covered pretty much my whole leg. It was HILARIOUS though! Then we found some Geocaches or we tried to. Mike fell too bad we missed that one. After that we walked around some shops and got some Hot cider and saw some funny t-shirts. We saw a snow mond we wanted to kick down and Spencer and I were kicking at it. Then Dianne came over and she goes no you have to kick like this. Then BAM she fell on her butt! THEE most hilarious thing i've ever seen, I wish we could of gotten it on video. I sat there and laughed so hard before I could ask if she was okay. haha
Then we got back into the car and off to Rexburg once again. We had some dinner at Taco Bell then had to say our sad goodbyes. =[ I am glad we were able to come see Dianne but sad that we had to leave. We were all having so much fun! Then we have our hand hugs ;] and off we went. We stopped at a missionary couple Spencer knew for a few. They seemed really nice. Then we stopped at my brothers house =] Little Cache was runnning back and forth giggling then clapping. He was a goof ball because it was bed time. Mallorie and Jon were really nice and I missed them. After I left Mallorie texted me and said I forgot to see your ring but I like Spencer a lot you got a good pick.
Then we got back about midnight to Salt Lake City. Ugh no more squish!!
I was glad to sleep in on Monday. I love Spencer and his family so much. I will never forget that mini roadtrip! It made my week.
Besides being tired and out of shape I had SO much fun, and wish we could go back to it all!!
I am now needing to work out and get back into my routine!! About 5 months until the wedding =]

Reasons

I have so much to say like I said before but I forgot my paper so this is just going to be a lot of rambling!!

I know I am constantly telling you how much I love my life! It’s the truth though so why not express it and tell it to the whole world!!! =]

I can honestly say sense Christmas I have been none stop happy! This is for several reasons of course. Now my life isn’t perfect, I still get frustrated with things and angry and get down but not for very long. I don’t let myself wallow in it.

Reasons why I am happy:

1. I am a member of this AMAZING gospel, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint!
2. Then daily prayer that keeps me holding on, asking questions, and getting answers to situations.
3. I have wonderful Fiancé that is always there for me whenever and is very loving.
4. My mother, she is simply awesome. She boosts up my energy, excitement, and happiness more every time I talk to her!
5. I have friends that mean the world to me and are constantly there for me which I’d name some but I don’t want to accidently leave anyone out
6.  And myself, it sounds weird but I was thinking about everything that happened today and how there was a choice I made and it was a good one. And I made that choice. And I followed through with it. And I made someone smile! I can make a difference and that is awesome but yes sometimes a lot of pressure.
7. I love my siblings, they mean well and I love them for that.
8. Kinesiology...it's about getting your body in harmony. It’s made a HUGE difference.

Lying there slipping in and out of consciousness; I am numb to the world.

My brain is shutting down and I am entering dreamland

The place where anything can happen

As a dream starts up

I am in aw by all the colors.

Then it turns dark, black

No more warmth or happiness

But this dreamland is the place everyone talks about

It’s the place everyone wants to go to

This land can change in an instant

Without warning

The only happiness it contains

Is the option to awake and realize

It was all a dream

You can leave that land

All the fears that may come

But the real world is inescapable

Make your choices wisely.

That was a far fetch but I wanted to try to write a poem. This is NOT what I was going with but on little time to prepare and loss for words this is what I came up with.

Yesterday in Pearl of Great Price class someone talked about how close someone was to the gospel. And if you believe it but don’t accept the gospel, that it’s the worse thing known to man. Then I thought of an opposite situation. I ended up writing a story about, its pretty darn good if I do say so myself.

Basically I had this boyfriend in 2008 I want to say. His name was Taft. We didn’t date long but we knew the struggles we both had in life. One I knew was he knew he should serve a mission but he wanted to do it by choice not because he HAD to. We broke up and didn’t talk much with each other. About a year later I get a texted from a mutual friend saying Taft died in a car accident.

We weren’t super close but I remember running into him at Macey’s and we had a bad ending but when we made eye contact I knew all was over. The past in the past but we didn’t talk.

I went to the funeral and was shocked at all I learned. He had changed and went to the Bishop. He rotated his life around and filled out his mission papers. He was waiting for a response and had talked to the Bishop about how it was taking so long.

Now you see why, his mission was to change to be a better person and want to go on a mission. He didn’t have to actually go on that mission. It was just crazy to me.

And his cousin, Dallin, had a dream about Taft getting into a car accident. (They were best friends) but it prepared him for what was going to happen in reality.

I didn’t mean this to connect back into my so called dream poem but it does. We don’t know exactly what all dreams mean. It could be helping you for a soon to happen event, just me crazy thoughts through out the day, it could be warnings, or answers to your prayers. I look at it the way I think it is. They always fascinate me.

Back to the Taft situation. I always wonder what happened in that car; their thoughts, where they were going. It’s one of the first people I want to talk to and ask questions. It’s totally random but I am just very curious. This death was really hard for me at first. I struggled but in the long end prayer got me through it all. Next to a lot of other things. I know the Lord is always watching over me.

I know I am making the right choices by how my life is. I’ve never been so happy. All the things I need are falling into place by weird connections my friends have. It just amazes me and I am so very grateful! I can’t express it enough =]

I believe I will stop here for now. Once again this is NOT what I was wanting to write about but it should do for this entry haha

Enjoy

Just wait

I have so many thoughts running through my head that I want to blog about but kind of don't have much time to. At work if I have time I might blog a bit then post it later. I can explain all the crazy stuff that's happened to me. I am off to go help a friend!
Just you wait my blogs going to be AWESOME, I've got inspiration!!! haha

The proposal!!! Happy V Day!!

I kind of suspected something was going to happen. I could just sense it. Before FHE we walked up to the conference roof around 6:15 p.m. and we looked over the side at the city and the sunset.
Then he looks at me and said "I want to do anything I can to make you happy." I said thank you, wasn't sure exactly what to say because I knew what was coming.
Then he pulls out sour gummy worms because he knows I love them =] Then he pulled out a capri sun i gave him for his birthday and on the back I had written wish upon a star....and sadly it wasnt late enough for stars yet. Then he played our song: Marry me By: Train
Then he fidgets for a moment and pulls the ring out of his pocket and knelt down on one knee and said "Will you marry me?" I said "I will!"
Then all the kisses and hugs and stuff and I love you's! I cried but thats cuz I'd been holding in tears all day from earllier events. But these were happy tears, I am very happy!
He means the world to me, and its crazy that I'M GETTING MARRIED! =] August 6th, Mount Timpanogos Temple
I'm SO in love and can't wait to spend eternity with him!!

Sorry its blurry, i'll post a better one later. The description is such: Promise her your love with a romantic ring celebrating your relationship's past, present and future. From the Cherished Promise Collection™, this exquisite 10K white gold ring features three sparkling prong-set diamonds that glitter brightly. Swooping around the stones, a diamond-decorated shank provides elegance to this design, and brings the total diamond weight to a thoughtful 1/5 ct. The signature of the Cherished Promise Collection™ is a hidden sapphire gemstone. Said to bring the wearer light, joy and peace, this hidden stone symbolizes sincerity and faithfulness

Right afterwards

Love

Love will show you everything By: Jennifer Love Hewitt (I believe)
It's true, love helps fix everything BUT it can destroy things as well so don't think being in love is perfect! It takes works on both parts. As most of you have probably heard I am engaged to Spencer =]
I am so very happy, now he hasn't proposed yet (long story) but when it happens I'll post ALL about it and post a picture of the ring. =]
The Big day is August 6th. It's soo close but yet so far. Like I said I am SO happy and yeah we may not have known each other that long but sometimes you know you know. And being close to the Gospel helps that. We have moments like any other person but that doesn't mean run away if your afraid or don't want to fix something. It means that we stick together and help one another. It's a lot of work to try to make things perfect but it's what makes you closer. In the end all that matters is being together and doing what the Lord asks of us. It's what keeps us together is the Gospel.
This adds to my crazy life but I wouldn't change it for the world! I have learned so much from him and everything I have going on in life. I know it will all work out and being amazing. =]
It's sure crazy for me to think sometimes that I am getting married! But I am being pretty calm about it all. There are some upsetting moments that come with it all but I can handle it no problem.
Colors: Blue/green
Theme: Peacock haha =]
Bridesmaids: Suki (Maid of Honor), Kate, Stephanie, Jessica (my sister), Jessica (his sister), Dianne (his sister), and Mallorie.
Not sure who all the Groomsmen are but for sure is my brother Jon.
It's all coming together pretty nicely. It's just putting it all together.
My mom has been a BIG help and I love her for that!
We need to SAVE SAVE SAVE for it thats for sure.
Simple is what we are going for and so far its coming together nicely. 6 months! Crazy to think once again....   I am getting MARRIED! Weird lol
I will update you more later.
But remember Love comes to you when the time is right, you can't just make it happen but don't wait around not trying to find someone but know it'll come whenever the Lord thinks its time for you to move forward in life. Trust me! (and I am not saying that because I found someone)

Dreaming

Remember as a young girl/boy how we dreamed of our future and how it was going to be?


little child dreaming

I don't remember exactly what I dreamed of but I wanted to be happy. The future seemed like a happy place to be. And I would do anything to be in that happy place as a child. I'm sure I dreamed about being something amazing, having a family and have lots of friends.
Dreams to be:
An astronaut (spelled wrong)
A ballarina
A painter
A singer
A writer
A chef
A race car driver

and the list could go on! As a child you could be anything you wanted to be. You just had this amazing imagination! Being a child seemed so easy. You didn't have to worry about much because your parents would take care of you. I would give anything to be a child ago BUT
my life has never been better! Those dreams of mine whatever they might have been don't compare to the actual future =]
I just have little struggles but where I am right now and who I am with is worth every struggle!
I've never been this happy before and for this long! =]
This is no means to rub it into people's faces who aren't happy but hang out with me and I just might brighten your day! lol
I am getting education like the prophet has said and I dont have too many credits so I am not behind, I am getting things done as soon as possible and learning things =]
I have two jobs, so income and trying my best to save and I love my jobs. One is a little difficult at times but its worth every second of it. I am learning there as well and getting to know new people.
I have a wonderful family who would do anything for me! Especially my mother, she is so sweet and I want to be JUST like her when I have kids someday. She is very helpful! I love her!
Then I'm reading my scriptures and gaining a stronger testimony and love for my Heavenly Father and the prophets! They care so much about us!
Last but not least is my wonderful boyfriend, Spencer! I love him more than anything in the world! He is there for me when I struggle with something and helps calm me down and listen to me. He helps me with homework and is really understanding. He wants to help me and he is so strong in the gospel, he teaches me lots of things. He is so positive and I know he makes me happy!
There are so many things I am grateful for in my life that I will hold onto during hard moments. There are LOTS of things I am looking forward to but I need to be patient. I will let you know all the exciting things when it comes up. Until then I love you all and don't stop dreaming! Someday too you will feel what I feel =]

Happy Feb!

It's Feb. already crazy!!!
LOTS has happened since the last time I wrote but I can only tell you so much right now. In do time I will tell you the rest! =]
1. I got ANOTHER cold, I was better for like one day and then it all came back. BLAH!!! I guess the cough is the worst part so that sucks. I had to literally stay home from school and work becasue I just felt like CRAP, and I had a temp. of 99.7
BUT there were wonderful people that brought me things (drugs lol) to make me feel better! Devrey, Jeffrey, and Spencer.
2. I have an amazing boyfriend but you already knew that! I love him very much, and we don't get to spend tons of time with each other but thats okay =] I trust him
3. School is going pretty good! I am learning a lot and getting things done. I have a hard time with having only one class on friday, it being english, because we do NOTHING in that class! So I skipped it.... I swear its the LAST time unless I am really sick
I haven't worked out much but its hard to breathe and so on so its hard to do so. I am always exhausted.
It's been SUPER cold outside which then again makes it harder to breathe when riding my bike. But I make it there, good thing I LOVE my job =]
I can't think at the moment, but my dear roommate is making me a smoothie then I cash my FIRST check from my new job! =] yay I love that, the money is great! I have to save save save for somethings though!
Everything in life is turning out great, and I know its because I am doing whats right!
=]
Love you all!