It has been almost 1 1/2 years since I last wrote in here. I'm not going to really update you, i'm just going to jump right into an idea that recently popped into my head.
Every so often I get books to understand how to be a better parent, better spouse, better person, or better couple etc. Recently I looked into a book a friend recommended called Wife for Life the power to succeed in marriage By: Ramona Zabriskie
It was a pretty interesting read, there were things I couldn't relate to or totally understand. I just don't think the way that this author does.
There is also a book I started when we first got married and am just NOW finishing (almost 8 years later lol) It was a really great book but I must of found non fiction books I decided to read instead and never went back until now. It's called Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus By: John Gray
Now both books explain women and men. Which wasn't something I was totally expecting. I will say they have similar descriptions of how women and men are. It has been really cool to see side by sides of how we both think differently, and respond different. Of course not all men are the same or women but its enough to have a good place to start if you want to fix any issues. I've taken note on some little things to try but even the simplest things to fix situations or change of word is very hard to remember IN the moment to do.
There were times when I would say that is totally me, I didn't realize I did that. Then there are things that I don't think I do at all. While reading occasionally I will think is this how my husband is too? The thing though is if someone just came up and asked me how I am, I honestly don't know myself to really know how to explain myself to someone. There have been times where I want to go to my husband and say hey is this you? Do you really feel that way or think that way? I don't think he would know or maybe even want to say (I haven't tried it so husband, maybe i'm wrong lol)
In Wife for Life she brings up this thing "Don't let the crazy lady out". Or something along those lines. In one chapter she breaks down all the type of crazy ladies there are. I remember reading over them and thinking okay i'm a tiny bit of this one and that one. I'm not at all (or so I think) a CRAZY Lady but I do believe there are moments where I can go a bit insane.
I'm the type of person especially in a marriage that doesn't say my feelings or what i'm thinking very often. So if i'm lacking sleep, lack good food, not feeling in some kind of control, spent (you've tried all you can give and things arent working), the weather is getting you down, lack good exercise, kids are on me ALL day(s) or feel tons of responsibility/pressure I can sometimes lets say SNAP.
Now I will say I don't regret that snapping moment much because i'm releasing some real true feelings in that small moment. Is it the right way..... probably not! I think the book said something about 7 different crazy ladies, and how to try to control them to a degree. Last night I let one crazy lady out, there was just no way (especially with little to no practice) to have tamed that crazy! In those moments how do you even come back from that, im choosing to pretend it didn't happen.....which is probably again not the right way to handle it. lol
When you've got so many things you know you could do better at and fix, where do you start, which one do you pick! I have really great amazing days or decent days most the time, blow ups dont happen that often, i'm sure thats the same for the majority of you but when they do come up they make me feel like everything else was such a lie. Does that make sense? Like maybe I was playing pretend but deep inside there were crazy ladies that needed to be tamed a LONG time ago, but I just shove them down because its easier in the moment.
*While reading these books I started thinking we'll I'm a women what if I wrote a book about women. You'd be more confused about women then you were before. We cry and you ask why....I have no idea why I'm crying. We want you to help but if you offer we(or maybe just me) is like no I can do it myself. We are happy one moment and some how furious the next. We want this then we change our mind. We are very confusing creatures and i will agree with any man that says so. I don't ever understand myself!
I'm not sure if this is totally how I wanted this post to go, but if you are reading this, have you had moments where you feel later or even in the moment that in a sense you were a crazy lady but not totally yourself?
I do highly recommend these books not just for married or engaged but in general it may help you interact with the opposite sex or get to know yourself better BEFORE you become a duo or help your friendships or family you DO have.
