I keep coming up with all these blog post ideas and then deciding not to post. And these last few weeks i've been overwhelmed with a lot of things going on and beating myself up over things. Last night I decided if I am going to blog its going to be about all the things i'm thankful for.
My sweet husband who always loves me, and helps me parent and teaches the kids how to be respectful of me and others. And a hardworking man that puts up with a crazy wife who means well & kids that are all over the place some days lol
A beautiful daughter who lights up whenever she seems me, which just melts my heart
A handsome son who is very grown up and a very helpful big brother to his younger siblings
A mischievous son that keeps me on my toes but has a sensitive soul.
My very loving and cuddly cats that constantly remind me they need to be loved just as much as everyone else
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that has gave me the opportunity to learn and grown and meet amazing new people I otherwise would have never met.
My Savior who has shown SO much love, comfort, and forgiveness that no one else has ever shown me.
My parents & siblings & In laws that have taught/ shown me how to live and love.
My friends (close & far, old & new) that have been there for me as a listening ear or to be crazy with me, or served me or made me laugh or gave me much needed advice.
Visiting Teachers that are also there to lend a hand when needed!
For a body that I can strengthen and help me to do all the things in life I need to to live & love.
For an apartment that keeps us warm & sheltered from all kinds of weather: especially rainy days in Oregon ;)
A vehicle that can get me places faster and makes carting my little family around easier
For the money we do have to get what we need!
Scriptures that help me learn & grow
Sleep when you get a good nights rest that can refresh you and help you start a new day happily =]
Technology that allows us to talk & see family & friends that are far away.
Books that can either teach you things or take you away to another world if you just need to escape from real life for a bit.
Music that just says things in the most beautiful way and expresses how I feel better then I could do.
JoySchool (preschool) that teaches my children things he other words may not learn from just me.
Oregon for its BEAUTIFUL Fall colors that distract me when driving lol (don't worry I try to be extra careful in the Fall)
Thankful for new opportunities even though scary and hard that open up new friendships & strength & patience.
I could write even more but these are some lately that i've been thinking about. Everything is listed in no particular order and even though i've had frustrations with these things or people once or twice there is always so much more love that goes along with it. So thank you!
What is one of your top things to be grateful for??
Friday, October 27, 2017
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Do over- 6 weeks
Today marks 6 weeks since baby, it feels like it should be longer then that because it took forever to arrive at this mark.
I've been thinking recently about my labor and delivery. Have you ever wanted a do over? I've wanted a few but not many. But if I knew how everything would be I would of done things differently. Recently mainly this last pregnancy and delivery. If I knew the epidural would have stopped my contractions for sure for awhile I would of held off for a little while because even though I disliked when I felt a contraction coming I think I was handling each one pretty well! Then I would of had her sooner but still had time to put in enough meds they wanted me to have before having her. Also I would of had Spencer come back and stay with me at the hospital over night or a friend had I known Emma wasn't going to let me sleep (which I so desperately needed) then I wouldn't have been so tired and would have tried harder with actual breastfeeding. Or would I have?
This is just an example. Even though I was pretty sick while pregnant if I had pushed harder to workout and eat healthier would it have made a difference?
I think a lot of times in the moment I feel so weak or tired that it truly effects my motivation and decisions. But even if I had been well rested would I really have made different choices?
What's done is done in all past situations I've wanted a do over but you know I probably would have done the exact same things or similar anyways.
They have been journeys that have gotten me to other places in my life I may never have made it to without those trials etc.
I'm back on slowly (wish it didn't have to be slowly) getting back to where I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's hard it's very hard. I've had to try to really focus on one area and once that's back to routine add something else. But I want to just jump right back into everything but I can't it's tiring lol
3 kids has out done me. I'm forgetting more things and have to find a new routine and organize differently. Right now I'm stuck in the constant laundry and dishes and pick up routine. It's never ending lol
Right now we are trying to find the way we want to parent. But it's easier to always fall back on my old ways because it's easier even though it's not better.
Anyways enough of that here's some updates
Emma is doing great! She sleeps 6-7 hours at night and wakes up and feed her and she goes back almost right away for a few more hours. She had thrush....still kind of does. She's had constipation and yeast infection. But other then that lol she sleeps and eats pretty good. And oh my goodness we love her!
Isaac and Jackson.....we've hit a moment they wrestle a lot more with each other and talk back and throw fits. Which I don't blame them I want to too somedays. But they can also be super helpful without being asked. Theyve been growing in good and bad ways lol we are trying to listen and understand each other but it's not easy most days.
Weather has been great in the 80s mostly so we go to splash pads or parks. And mommy and daddy are fitting in eating better all around and exercising.
I feel weak which is understandable so trying to keep up daily movement to get back to how wonderful I felt over a year ago. And I crave being that way again. But here we work on patience lol
We take each day at a time and try something different when things don't work out.
If you read this far thanks for reading my babble lol
I've been thinking recently about my labor and delivery. Have you ever wanted a do over? I've wanted a few but not many. But if I knew how everything would be I would of done things differently. Recently mainly this last pregnancy and delivery. If I knew the epidural would have stopped my contractions for sure for awhile I would of held off for a little while because even though I disliked when I felt a contraction coming I think I was handling each one pretty well! Then I would of had her sooner but still had time to put in enough meds they wanted me to have before having her. Also I would of had Spencer come back and stay with me at the hospital over night or a friend had I known Emma wasn't going to let me sleep (which I so desperately needed) then I wouldn't have been so tired and would have tried harder with actual breastfeeding. Or would I have?
This is just an example. Even though I was pretty sick while pregnant if I had pushed harder to workout and eat healthier would it have made a difference?
I think a lot of times in the moment I feel so weak or tired that it truly effects my motivation and decisions. But even if I had been well rested would I really have made different choices?
What's done is done in all past situations I've wanted a do over but you know I probably would have done the exact same things or similar anyways.
They have been journeys that have gotten me to other places in my life I may never have made it to without those trials etc.
I'm back on slowly (wish it didn't have to be slowly) getting back to where I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's hard it's very hard. I've had to try to really focus on one area and once that's back to routine add something else. But I want to just jump right back into everything but I can't it's tiring lol
3 kids has out done me. I'm forgetting more things and have to find a new routine and organize differently. Right now I'm stuck in the constant laundry and dishes and pick up routine. It's never ending lol
Right now we are trying to find the way we want to parent. But it's easier to always fall back on my old ways because it's easier even though it's not better.
Anyways enough of that here's some updates
Emma is doing great! She sleeps 6-7 hours at night and wakes up and feed her and she goes back almost right away for a few more hours. She had thrush....still kind of does. She's had constipation and yeast infection. But other then that lol she sleeps and eats pretty good. And oh my goodness we love her!
Isaac and Jackson.....we've hit a moment they wrestle a lot more with each other and talk back and throw fits. Which I don't blame them I want to too somedays. But they can also be super helpful without being asked. Theyve been growing in good and bad ways lol we are trying to listen and understand each other but it's not easy most days.
Weather has been great in the 80s mostly so we go to splash pads or parks. And mommy and daddy are fitting in eating better all around and exercising.
I feel weak which is understandable so trying to keep up daily movement to get back to how wonderful I felt over a year ago. And I crave being that way again. But here we work on patience lol
We take each day at a time and try something different when things don't work out.
If you read this far thanks for reading my babble lol
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Emmas Birth Story
I had scheduled to be induced on her due date May 24th @ 8am because for several reasons I just didn't want her past her due date. I didn't want to be induced so I didn't plan it earlier then her due date to give her time to come in case she decided to show up on her own.
Tuesday the 23rd I finally was having contractions. And really struggled to want to walk around or go anywhere. Around 11 or midnight contractions started to become harder to breathe through and consistent. Because I was strep b positive they wanted me to come in sooner then later so if I was in labor they could get enough penicillin in me before she was born.
We had a lovely lady in our ward that we like to call our Oregon Grandma. She came over to stay while the boys slept and until Spencer could come back and get them.
I was 5cm and 80% effaced? So they admitted me. I was handling contractions well but I was game for an epidural whenever they could get me one.
We found out that why your legs go numb at the beginning is they give you two meds that jump start the epidural to work. Supposedly your legs are supposed to gain feeling after awhile but the pain should be the only numb part even if you press a button to get more pain meds. But for me if I ever press that button my legs go numb again. So for whatever reason i'm some rare case and we tried telling them that the same thing happened with the boys but they didn't believe me until I told them my legs were numb again. So I really can't feel even pressure down there all feeling is gone. But no biggie.
The hardest part for me was they don't let you eat anything but liquid things and I was STARVING and weak from lack of food so I was very emotional. Also we didn't have a good nights sleep the night before and its the middle of the night again and i'm not getting sleep.
She moved around A LOT so the machine was always making noise from her movements. Once I got the epidural it slowed down my contractions a lot at one point I was 7cm and fully effaced for awhile.
Since I couldn't feel my legs they had to help flip me when I wanted to lay on a different side. Around 9 or 10? they flipped me and a few minutes later the doctor came to check on me and I was wet so my water must have broke when they flipped me because I had been dry just before that.
They were going to give me Pitocin but the nurse said since my water broke she was going to see if my contractions picked back up on their own....and sure enough they did. And around 11ish I pushed 2-3 times and her head was out and she slipped out with the doctors help and she was here at 11:16am
LOTS of dark brown hair and just beautiful! I did almost cry a little bit mainly from it beings 12 hours and I was so weak and hungry and I had really finally had a girl lol
She was 8.1 lbs (biggest baby ive had) and 19.25 inches long
She is pretty chill but when she does not like something or is hungry etc she WILL let you know, she has a high pitch scream/cry......
Usually if you were strep b positive they make you stay mainly for baby for 48 hours thankfully they let us go around the 24 hour mark I never would of emotionally survived staying there another night lol
We all love her very much and trying to figure out the sleep schedules which has been a bit rough. During the day is pretty good but nights are a struggle. She is down to 7.7 lbs but they aren't worried. She's got chunky cheeks and dark eyes for now can't tell which color they are going to change to.
We pump, breastfeed, and formula feed until we figure out what we are going to work on. And every night I change my mind on what I want to do lol
The biggest trial for me is sleep if I don't get a fair amount I just can't handle life so Spencer and I take turns with her at night and naps during the day etc.
The boys have been pretty great for the most part just always have lots of energy. Grandma Nielsen comes June 1st and we are super excited.
A downside is its SO HOT in every room but the living room so its made nights harder.
Anyways I don't think I missed anything nothings huge but we did find out that the hospital was pretty packed with women in labor that if I hadn't of gone into labor on my own they would of moved my induction date :/ so thank heavens baby girl decided to get things going!
OOOh I tore about a 2? It's day 3/4 and I rarely take any pain meds and i'm seeming to heal fairly fast and nicely. My tummy is slowly going down and need to keep up on naps etc to feel semi normal but i'm pretty good and ready for back to normal life just with 3 kids instead of 2. She's a snuggle bug
Tuesday the 23rd I finally was having contractions. And really struggled to want to walk around or go anywhere. Around 11 or midnight contractions started to become harder to breathe through and consistent. Because I was strep b positive they wanted me to come in sooner then later so if I was in labor they could get enough penicillin in me before she was born.
We had a lovely lady in our ward that we like to call our Oregon Grandma. She came over to stay while the boys slept and until Spencer could come back and get them.
I was 5cm and 80% effaced? So they admitted me. I was handling contractions well but I was game for an epidural whenever they could get me one.
We found out that why your legs go numb at the beginning is they give you two meds that jump start the epidural to work. Supposedly your legs are supposed to gain feeling after awhile but the pain should be the only numb part even if you press a button to get more pain meds. But for me if I ever press that button my legs go numb again. So for whatever reason i'm some rare case and we tried telling them that the same thing happened with the boys but they didn't believe me until I told them my legs were numb again. So I really can't feel even pressure down there all feeling is gone. But no biggie.
The hardest part for me was they don't let you eat anything but liquid things and I was STARVING and weak from lack of food so I was very emotional. Also we didn't have a good nights sleep the night before and its the middle of the night again and i'm not getting sleep.
She moved around A LOT so the machine was always making noise from her movements. Once I got the epidural it slowed down my contractions a lot at one point I was 7cm and fully effaced for awhile.
Since I couldn't feel my legs they had to help flip me when I wanted to lay on a different side. Around 9 or 10? they flipped me and a few minutes later the doctor came to check on me and I was wet so my water must have broke when they flipped me because I had been dry just before that.
They were going to give me Pitocin but the nurse said since my water broke she was going to see if my contractions picked back up on their own....and sure enough they did. And around 11ish I pushed 2-3 times and her head was out and she slipped out with the doctors help and she was here at 11:16am
LOTS of dark brown hair and just beautiful! I did almost cry a little bit mainly from it beings 12 hours and I was so weak and hungry and I had really finally had a girl lol
She was 8.1 lbs (biggest baby ive had) and 19.25 inches long
She is pretty chill but when she does not like something or is hungry etc she WILL let you know, she has a high pitch scream/cry......
Usually if you were strep b positive they make you stay mainly for baby for 48 hours thankfully they let us go around the 24 hour mark I never would of emotionally survived staying there another night lol
We all love her very much and trying to figure out the sleep schedules which has been a bit rough. During the day is pretty good but nights are a struggle. She is down to 7.7 lbs but they aren't worried. She's got chunky cheeks and dark eyes for now can't tell which color they are going to change to.
We pump, breastfeed, and formula feed until we figure out what we are going to work on. And every night I change my mind on what I want to do lol
The biggest trial for me is sleep if I don't get a fair amount I just can't handle life so Spencer and I take turns with her at night and naps during the day etc.
The boys have been pretty great for the most part just always have lots of energy. Grandma Nielsen comes June 1st and we are super excited.
A downside is its SO HOT in every room but the living room so its made nights harder.
Anyways I don't think I missed anything nothings huge but we did find out that the hospital was pretty packed with women in labor that if I hadn't of gone into labor on my own they would of moved my induction date :/ so thank heavens baby girl decided to get things going!
OOOh I tore about a 2? It's day 3/4 and I rarely take any pain meds and i'm seeming to heal fairly fast and nicely. My tummy is slowly going down and need to keep up on naps etc to feel semi normal but i'm pretty good and ready for back to normal life just with 3 kids instead of 2. She's a snuggle bug
Monday, April 3, 2017
Decluttering
(The book i'm referring too. "The life-changing magic of tidying up" By: Marie Kondo)
Wow!
I've been thinking of reorganizing and decluttering for quite awhile. Each month my desire to do so got stronger. Could some of it be nesting, probably but I did feel this way before I was pregnant.
I came across this book one day and I knew this was a different perspective that I wanted to try.
We can organize and declutter but unless we truly declutter we are going to always have to redo everything.
My huge desire was I was tired of always having spots or things to pick up. As the kids get older they are slowly helping with their own items to put away but something needed to change.
I'm not much of a hoarder and neither is Spencer but this book made me realize how much you hold on to when it's not needed. I've gotten rid of maybe 15 bags worth of things.
Now I don't agree 100% with all she says but it did make me see things a different way. The more things we do have the easier a home is to reclutter all over again. And finding more shelves to make things more organized doesn't solve the issue.
She talks a lot of physically touching everything and by that knowing what to keep based on if that item Sparks joy. I only did this to a point because though I believe items have a bit of energy I don't think they are overly speaking to you or upset if we fold them a certain way. to each their own though.
I do believe that every item has their purpose and that after it's fulfilled that purpose in making you happy it's time to donate or throw away. For example cards I don't hold on to tons but realized I could let go of quite a few. They fulfilled their purpose by me receiving them and feeling joy or loved from that person. But holding on to them isn't important especially if we rarely go back and read it. Now there are exceptions like love letters from your spouse.
Another point was not holding on to past things from an ex or ex friend because if you go through it ever it brings you back in the past but it's time to live in the now! I held on to a few items but not much but their all in a box at my parents so those will be tossed next time I see that box.
Another huge thing was everything has its place! So a huge thing in general that will help me is once I use something to put it back where it goes as soon as possible! The things won't easily reclutter on a countertop or table etc.
I feel our home is so much more open and inviting already! And we dont even have as much stuff as most people do.
I will say one hard part is if you have a spouse or children etc that you share a home with doesn't mean your all going to be 100% into the process of truly decluttering which has been a bit hard for me to see and be understanding.
Because what's important to someone else doesn't mean it's important to us so you have to compromise or just let things go.
Another hard part is I'm afraid I may slip back into hold habits of oh we need this when we truly don't need to add more back into our home.
Right now I'm actually doing pretty well, I'm a gift giver and love receiving gifts but as of lately I care very little to receive gifts and my gift giving has changed to smaller simpler things.
Which was one problem she said is that people just let things sit because someone gave it to them and you feel bad throwing it away or giving it away but leaving the item sit there makes more harm then good.
I'm almost all done, the process is supposed to take longer but I have limited time and patience. Lol
I'm down to mostly finding the right place for things and keeping all items that are similar together. So all cords in one spot, all crayons, all shoes etc.
Somedays I've pushed myself a bit more then I should lol but it's felt very rewarding just wish I had done this when I was physically better able to do it all.
In the long wrong I hope it helps me do normal cleaning easier because I'm not constantly clearing clutter spots.
Did maybe getting pregnant make my brain finally snap and say it's time to change the way your live? Maybe. I've noticed a lot lately that for me there came a time where things just snapped for me and I was ready to truly start working out or to truly focus on my scripture reading or whatever it may be. And each moment I did amazing did some of these things get throw off yes....But each time I've learned something new and different to fix or change in my life and I'm really grateful for that. In this case I feel a bit more free and lighter in my home. It should make life easier for me especially when baby 3 comes along.
Which the closer I get to due date the more I have to take things 1 day at a time. I'm quite emotional with this one especially towards the end I've noticed. And I physically always have some sort of pain every so often each day. Sitting one way used to help but no so much anymore so I get emotional since I don't feel 100% but I always feel a lot better then I did the first like 7 months! I do feel I have a fair amount of energy and I think that's partly from decluttering because doing it was bringing me joy that I hadn't been feeling.
My goal is to finish up as much as I can before baby gets here so that things don't slip backwards.
It's an amazing book though but do believe you have to truly be ready to do it and then do it and don't stop half way through! I should of taken before and after pictures, I'm truly upset I didn't. But maybe will take a few after pictures when I'm done with everything because you will see how open the place looks. =]
Side note we are doing fairly well here, very thankfully warmer weather is stopping by on and off. We've got about 50 days left until due date and we are fairly prepare minus a few things which I will wait to see if I get at baby shower, if I don't then will purchase and start packing hospital bag. I'm still very over and done with this pregnancy, it's truly been a hardship I never realized I would struggle with. But we have survived this long, just barely, and are slowly getting excited for the changes that will come with having a 3rd kid lol
Wow!
I've been thinking of reorganizing and decluttering for quite awhile. Each month my desire to do so got stronger. Could some of it be nesting, probably but I did feel this way before I was pregnant.
I came across this book one day and I knew this was a different perspective that I wanted to try.
We can organize and declutter but unless we truly declutter we are going to always have to redo everything.
My huge desire was I was tired of always having spots or things to pick up. As the kids get older they are slowly helping with their own items to put away but something needed to change.
I'm not much of a hoarder and neither is Spencer but this book made me realize how much you hold on to when it's not needed. I've gotten rid of maybe 15 bags worth of things.
Now I don't agree 100% with all she says but it did make me see things a different way. The more things we do have the easier a home is to reclutter all over again. And finding more shelves to make things more organized doesn't solve the issue.
She talks a lot of physically touching everything and by that knowing what to keep based on if that item Sparks joy. I only did this to a point because though I believe items have a bit of energy I don't think they are overly speaking to you or upset if we fold them a certain way. to each their own though.
I do believe that every item has their purpose and that after it's fulfilled that purpose in making you happy it's time to donate or throw away. For example cards I don't hold on to tons but realized I could let go of quite a few. They fulfilled their purpose by me receiving them and feeling joy or loved from that person. But holding on to them isn't important especially if we rarely go back and read it. Now there are exceptions like love letters from your spouse.
Another point was not holding on to past things from an ex or ex friend because if you go through it ever it brings you back in the past but it's time to live in the now! I held on to a few items but not much but their all in a box at my parents so those will be tossed next time I see that box.
Another huge thing was everything has its place! So a huge thing in general that will help me is once I use something to put it back where it goes as soon as possible! The things won't easily reclutter on a countertop or table etc.
I feel our home is so much more open and inviting already! And we dont even have as much stuff as most people do.
I will say one hard part is if you have a spouse or children etc that you share a home with doesn't mean your all going to be 100% into the process of truly decluttering which has been a bit hard for me to see and be understanding.
Because what's important to someone else doesn't mean it's important to us so you have to compromise or just let things go.
Another hard part is I'm afraid I may slip back into hold habits of oh we need this when we truly don't need to add more back into our home.
Right now I'm actually doing pretty well, I'm a gift giver and love receiving gifts but as of lately I care very little to receive gifts and my gift giving has changed to smaller simpler things.
Which was one problem she said is that people just let things sit because someone gave it to them and you feel bad throwing it away or giving it away but leaving the item sit there makes more harm then good.
I'm almost all done, the process is supposed to take longer but I have limited time and patience. Lol
I'm down to mostly finding the right place for things and keeping all items that are similar together. So all cords in one spot, all crayons, all shoes etc.
Somedays I've pushed myself a bit more then I should lol but it's felt very rewarding just wish I had done this when I was physically better able to do it all.
In the long wrong I hope it helps me do normal cleaning easier because I'm not constantly clearing clutter spots.
Did maybe getting pregnant make my brain finally snap and say it's time to change the way your live? Maybe. I've noticed a lot lately that for me there came a time where things just snapped for me and I was ready to truly start working out or to truly focus on my scripture reading or whatever it may be. And each moment I did amazing did some of these things get throw off yes....But each time I've learned something new and different to fix or change in my life and I'm really grateful for that. In this case I feel a bit more free and lighter in my home. It should make life easier for me especially when baby 3 comes along.
Which the closer I get to due date the more I have to take things 1 day at a time. I'm quite emotional with this one especially towards the end I've noticed. And I physically always have some sort of pain every so often each day. Sitting one way used to help but no so much anymore so I get emotional since I don't feel 100% but I always feel a lot better then I did the first like 7 months! I do feel I have a fair amount of energy and I think that's partly from decluttering because doing it was bringing me joy that I hadn't been feeling.
My goal is to finish up as much as I can before baby gets here so that things don't slip backwards.
It's an amazing book though but do believe you have to truly be ready to do it and then do it and don't stop half way through! I should of taken before and after pictures, I'm truly upset I didn't. But maybe will take a few after pictures when I'm done with everything because you will see how open the place looks. =]
Side note we are doing fairly well here, very thankfully warmer weather is stopping by on and off. We've got about 50 days left until due date and we are fairly prepare minus a few things which I will wait to see if I get at baby shower, if I don't then will purchase and start packing hospital bag. I'm still very over and done with this pregnancy, it's truly been a hardship I never realized I would struggle with. But we have survived this long, just barely, and are slowly getting excited for the changes that will come with having a 3rd kid lol
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
30 weeks baby 3
30 weeks today! (will be 8 weeks left if its like Jackson)
3/4 complete and 1/4 to go! It still feels like an eternity away. I always heard things from blogs etc that pregnancy 3 just flies by.....no it doesn't! lol I did not get blessed with that luck!
I would share my weight except the batteries are dead in our scale :/
I am actually doing fairly decent, I still get colds and things occasionally. And sometimes don't feel very well depending on how I've ate.
I don't really crave much
I sleep okay sometimes its rough to move
I have a tine bit of acid reflex
I'm always hungry
I have bursts of energy here and there
If I stand too long my back will hurt
I will usually feel worn out around 1 so will lay down and sort of nap depending on how the boys do
I have that normal pain every so often on my right top side that I've had with the past pregnancies, and no its not a baby foot up in my ribs its a different kind of pain. its my insides getting cramped and pushed up there.
Bras are getting tight but because my belly is spreading to up there so my circumference around my ribs is fatter.
I'm almost always fairly hot, I don't always have a sweater on, if you know me that's a huge shocker. Nights I get even more hot even if I have all the ways to keep me cool but oh well.
My old stretch marks are stretched out all the way which means I am going to probably get some new ones soon, my belly is itchy now on and off and super stretched out.
She moves pretty much ALL the time. She really favors my right side and tries to push out the side a lot.
She gets hiccups at least 1-2 times a day! I get jabs and brushes a lot on the inside.
I'm back to liking sleep on my right side more then my left but still have to switch off.
I get a few very light cramps but nothing crazy or consistent.
My legs are sometimes achy
My brain is a lot more forgetful and spacey on words and things I need to do.
I'm still a little less social then normal just depends on the day.
I feel huge but also still feel kind of small
I do occasionally forget that i'm pregnant until I move and remember there is a belly in my way that makes it harder to get to or do a few things lol
We are pretty set for when she comes, a few other things would be helpful but we have the basics. I'm ready for the end.
We tried making 3 carseats fit in our backseat to wait on a bigger car a little longer but.....no matter how I worked it, it didn't work well so probably at the beginning of May we will get a van of some kind.
The baby stuff is pretty much all organized, bag will be packed soon but not yet too early and hospital tour is in one month and already have the birth plan written. what can I say i'm a preparer, makes me feel ready and calm for all the unexpected things you cant plan for.
Okay i'm just blabbing just figured its been awhile since I've updated.
3/4 complete and 1/4 to go! It still feels like an eternity away. I always heard things from blogs etc that pregnancy 3 just flies by.....no it doesn't! lol I did not get blessed with that luck!
I would share my weight except the batteries are dead in our scale :/
I am actually doing fairly decent, I still get colds and things occasionally. And sometimes don't feel very well depending on how I've ate.
I don't really crave much
I sleep okay sometimes its rough to move
I have a tine bit of acid reflex
I'm always hungry
I have bursts of energy here and there
If I stand too long my back will hurt
I will usually feel worn out around 1 so will lay down and sort of nap depending on how the boys do
I have that normal pain every so often on my right top side that I've had with the past pregnancies, and no its not a baby foot up in my ribs its a different kind of pain. its my insides getting cramped and pushed up there.
Bras are getting tight but because my belly is spreading to up there so my circumference around my ribs is fatter.
I'm almost always fairly hot, I don't always have a sweater on, if you know me that's a huge shocker. Nights I get even more hot even if I have all the ways to keep me cool but oh well.
My old stretch marks are stretched out all the way which means I am going to probably get some new ones soon, my belly is itchy now on and off and super stretched out.
She moves pretty much ALL the time. She really favors my right side and tries to push out the side a lot.
She gets hiccups at least 1-2 times a day! I get jabs and brushes a lot on the inside.
I'm back to liking sleep on my right side more then my left but still have to switch off.
I get a few very light cramps but nothing crazy or consistent.
My legs are sometimes achy
My brain is a lot more forgetful and spacey on words and things I need to do.
I'm still a little less social then normal just depends on the day.
I feel huge but also still feel kind of small
I do occasionally forget that i'm pregnant until I move and remember there is a belly in my way that makes it harder to get to or do a few things lol
We are pretty set for when she comes, a few other things would be helpful but we have the basics. I'm ready for the end.
We tried making 3 carseats fit in our backseat to wait on a bigger car a little longer but.....no matter how I worked it, it didn't work well so probably at the beginning of May we will get a van of some kind.
The baby stuff is pretty much all organized, bag will be packed soon but not yet too early and hospital tour is in one month and already have the birth plan written. what can I say i'm a preparer, makes me feel ready and calm for all the unexpected things you cant plan for.
Okay i'm just blabbing just figured its been awhile since I've updated.
Friday, February 10, 2017
Trials
Why it takes me getting sick lots in a short amount of time to kick me into gear and "grow up" or "change" I'm not sure, but I really need to stop it!
I've realized every time I get sick or can't function normally on and off for a few months is when it clicks I need to change something. In the past 3-4 months I've been different kind of sick 5 times! A few of those miserably enough I just wanted to die, when you just feel so low and cannot fix or heal yourself fast enough. This also doesn't include the pregnant morning type sicknesses I would also get.
I don't get sick often so this has been a HUGE struggle and trial for me and made me feel pretty darn low and helpless especially as a mother since I then can't even fulfill some of the necessary requirements of a mom.
(This will be all over the place because I haven't written in a long time)
I got a blessing recently and in it i'm always reminded we are given trials for a reason not just because. So then I start pondering to why this trial and what needs to change. And I could be wrong in my conclusion but it's a start and a change anyways. If you've never felt this way this may seem harsh but until you feel it you have no idea how easily it can take over.
I've been stressing A LOT without realizing it, about this pregnancy and baby. It's So different from my others then i'm constantly worrying if I will love her or if we will even bond well and is everything okay. Instead of praying to love her and to being grateful for all we've been blessed with. And stressing instead about space and what to get rid of to make room and how long we will stay here and will we have enough food and strength to take on 3 kids. I mean so many things! Isaac will love her no doubt but how will Jackson do are we gonna struggle a lot? My mom isn't here so what if my labor is faster then Jacksons was, I could have her in the apartment I mean so many unknowns and I struggle with unknowns and not being able to plan very well. Needing back up plans etc.
And I think in all the differences and less family around (even though I have lots of friends I know would be willing to help) I'm pretty sure I've been making myself sick over it all. And that's why I've been unsocial and not myself I've let the stress get to me and weigh me down and blamed it on the baby and pregnancy instead of it being my own fault.
SOOO anyways as much as i'm excited for a girl I am worried also about if i'm going to do okay with a girl. I know I will but its easy to worry.
Anyways I need to refocus my thoughts on relying on that God sent me her for a reason and that I need to know that some of the greatest things happen/come from the unknown situations.
Though I can't base the future off of this difficult pregnancy, I've come to one thought that if we do really want a 4th (I always have) we may adopt that time lol which I've always wanted to do that. That will be way far in the future though like maybe 4 years.
The constant rain and cold weather and up and down weather and very little sunshine has not helped and I haven't been working out, its been difficult while sick but may start walking on the treadmill every so often to just get some movement since I don't move much now a days.
We've also come to thoughts of working on a few things getting vitamins back in our routine, helping the boys better with hand washing (their one step stool they still cant reach the sink by themselves so don't like always having to pick them up etc.), brushing their teeth better: we've got once a day down good but the 2nd time a day is hit or miss.
Lately when we've been sick Spencer & I have taken turns on being sick so it was helpful but this time we all got sick around the same time....that was super duper rough! And I realized i'm not big in asking people for help, on little things yes but when it comes to being sick or cleaning the house I just don't want to impose someone to possibly get our germs or watch my boys etc.
In general though i'm still working on getting back into praying daily and reading more into my scriptures. And really trying to work on keeping my phone down more.
I was 25 weeks on Wednesday (its going by faster). Everything they say still looks good, somedays she moves more then others but she is hitting harder. I still worry about her growing, I feel like i'm so small which isn't always a bad thing. When I take my next monthly picture I will do a comparison to see if I am getting bigger. I probably am and just grow her differently then the boys.
As we get more and more things to prepare for her, I will feel less stressed i'm sure. We really just need a few big items and diapers and wipes. And in a few months should be getting a bigger car which will be SO great, and i'm very very excited for this!
The boys still keep me on my toes and give me lots of love and keep me going. Isaac always wants to play or do something with someone, he doesn't like being bored. Jackson always getting into things and making messes. They both are learning more and more words and making more sentences and enjoy when friends come over or we go somewhere to play (sicknesses have kept us from doing this as often as we used to)
I've realized every time I get sick or can't function normally on and off for a few months is when it clicks I need to change something. In the past 3-4 months I've been different kind of sick 5 times! A few of those miserably enough I just wanted to die, when you just feel so low and cannot fix or heal yourself fast enough. This also doesn't include the pregnant morning type sicknesses I would also get.
I don't get sick often so this has been a HUGE struggle and trial for me and made me feel pretty darn low and helpless especially as a mother since I then can't even fulfill some of the necessary requirements of a mom.
(This will be all over the place because I haven't written in a long time)
I got a blessing recently and in it i'm always reminded we are given trials for a reason not just because. So then I start pondering to why this trial and what needs to change. And I could be wrong in my conclusion but it's a start and a change anyways. If you've never felt this way this may seem harsh but until you feel it you have no idea how easily it can take over.
I've been stressing A LOT without realizing it, about this pregnancy and baby. It's So different from my others then i'm constantly worrying if I will love her or if we will even bond well and is everything okay. Instead of praying to love her and to being grateful for all we've been blessed with. And stressing instead about space and what to get rid of to make room and how long we will stay here and will we have enough food and strength to take on 3 kids. I mean so many things! Isaac will love her no doubt but how will Jackson do are we gonna struggle a lot? My mom isn't here so what if my labor is faster then Jacksons was, I could have her in the apartment I mean so many unknowns and I struggle with unknowns and not being able to plan very well. Needing back up plans etc.
And I think in all the differences and less family around (even though I have lots of friends I know would be willing to help) I'm pretty sure I've been making myself sick over it all. And that's why I've been unsocial and not myself I've let the stress get to me and weigh me down and blamed it on the baby and pregnancy instead of it being my own fault.
SOOO anyways as much as i'm excited for a girl I am worried also about if i'm going to do okay with a girl. I know I will but its easy to worry.
Anyways I need to refocus my thoughts on relying on that God sent me her for a reason and that I need to know that some of the greatest things happen/come from the unknown situations.
Though I can't base the future off of this difficult pregnancy, I've come to one thought that if we do really want a 4th (I always have) we may adopt that time lol which I've always wanted to do that. That will be way far in the future though like maybe 4 years.
The constant rain and cold weather and up and down weather and very little sunshine has not helped and I haven't been working out, its been difficult while sick but may start walking on the treadmill every so often to just get some movement since I don't move much now a days.
We've also come to thoughts of working on a few things getting vitamins back in our routine, helping the boys better with hand washing (their one step stool they still cant reach the sink by themselves so don't like always having to pick them up etc.), brushing their teeth better: we've got once a day down good but the 2nd time a day is hit or miss.
Lately when we've been sick Spencer & I have taken turns on being sick so it was helpful but this time we all got sick around the same time....that was super duper rough! And I realized i'm not big in asking people for help, on little things yes but when it comes to being sick or cleaning the house I just don't want to impose someone to possibly get our germs or watch my boys etc.
In general though i'm still working on getting back into praying daily and reading more into my scriptures. And really trying to work on keeping my phone down more.
I was 25 weeks on Wednesday (its going by faster). Everything they say still looks good, somedays she moves more then others but she is hitting harder. I still worry about her growing, I feel like i'm so small which isn't always a bad thing. When I take my next monthly picture I will do a comparison to see if I am getting bigger. I probably am and just grow her differently then the boys.
As we get more and more things to prepare for her, I will feel less stressed i'm sure. We really just need a few big items and diapers and wipes. And in a few months should be getting a bigger car which will be SO great, and i'm very very excited for this!
The boys still keep me on my toes and give me lots of love and keep me going. Isaac always wants to play or do something with someone, he doesn't like being bored. Jackson always getting into things and making messes. They both are learning more and more words and making more sentences and enjoy when friends come over or we go somewhere to play (sicknesses have kept us from doing this as often as we used to)
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Doing Something Right
We make a lot of mistakes as parents but sometimes we get these glimpses from our kids that we are doing something right! =]
Monday a few plans got cancelled so I was able to schedule an appointment with a doctor for an infection Isaac has. Isaac is at that stage where he says "its scary" or something along those lines and will get so emotional about things. I tried to explain that a doctor is there to help you get better, you don't like your owie, and he can help us fix it. We watch Doc McStuffins sometimes so tried to use her as an example. He eventually calmed a bit but was upset about going to the doctor still.
When we got there he told the nurse about his owie and the doctor and even stepped on the scale (26 lbs haha) by himself etc, yay!!! accomplishments. It was a LONG appointment partly because I misunderstood one part and was waiting in one area instead of another....ugh lets blame it on pregnancy brain lol
On our way home Isaac said "That wasn't scary!" =] Another yay moment!
That afternoon I needed to lay down on the couch for a little bit. And Jackson came over and put a blanket on me, gave me his teddy bear, and 3 kisses on the nose and 3 hugs! awwww very sweet!
Sadly I woke up sick at 4:30am....the same sick I had last time where I was throwing up for like 10 hours. I didn't heal as fast like last time but partly because I couldn't sleep well Tuesday night which didn't help me heal.
Anyways i'm grateful Spencer was able to stay home with me. Because I knew what the sickness was going to be like I expected how it would go for the most part. But you still hit a point where you can't get sick again, you just can't do it! But your body doesn't care what you want lol I still have no idea if it was like a flu thing or a food thing but it doesn't really matter. I woke up this morning feeling SOO much better (at 4:30am lol and couldn't fall back asleep go figure)
When i'm sick I like to be sick alone, so I will shut myself in a room or bathroom depending on the time etc. My heart was racing so much that I couldn't sleep much so this time around I really was on my phone a lot to pass time. And at one point started craving ice water!
But our bedroom door doesn't lock....I don't think. So every so often Jackson would sneak into the bedroom. It was adorable lol nice little moments to brighten my day. At one point I dropped my phone on the ground and so when he came in I asked if he could pick it up for me. So he picked it up and then gave me my drink and said drink, then tore off some toilet paper and said nose for me to blow my nose and then tried to give me another blanket. lol He can be such a sweetheart!
One time he sneaked in and gave this sly smile and whispered "hi mommy" and spencer was in there but didn't know Jackson was yet and then yelled HI DADDY! lol
And then Spencer brought Isaac in at one point and said he wanted to just sit and snuggly by me for a little bit and I said that was fine, he was really good at being careful and gentle around me. =]
Baby girl's name is Emma, this time around she moves so she moved A LOT probably very upset that I was jousling her around and she wasn't getting much food lol but it meant we had some small bonding moments as well.
A little later in the day I asked for a blessing, i'm so thankful for the Priesthood and the comfort, reminder, guidance, and blessings it gives us. Part of it was saying sometimes things happen to bring us closer to Him again. Which I have to admit I've been struggling to get back to wear I was in the gospel. It's a very slow start back but I was reminded of the scripture. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11: 28-30)
Sometimes we are given more than we can handle and that's to remind us that we have the Savior to help us pass those hard struggles that we can't do alone.
< this picture describes exactly how I felt I was as I was so broken down and helpless and needing my Savior
I have a loving husband who brought me things I needed and took care of the kids but even with loving spouse and friends there was only so much people could do so my Savior was there in the beginning or I should say I was constantly communicating with him the moment I knew I was sick and was desperately going to need his help. But in those hard sick moments I also witnessed beautiful moments from my sweet little family that reminded me the good i'm doing.
It's very easy to forget and not be grateful for your health until your in poor condition. I have goals and things I would like to accomplish but I can't be perfect in them yet. Just a few steps at a time but I have come along way in a few ways and I will take that! =]
There were other thoughts I had planned to say, I should of taken notes when they popped in my head so eventually I may be writing another post.
Monday a few plans got cancelled so I was able to schedule an appointment with a doctor for an infection Isaac has. Isaac is at that stage where he says "its scary" or something along those lines and will get so emotional about things. I tried to explain that a doctor is there to help you get better, you don't like your owie, and he can help us fix it. We watch Doc McStuffins sometimes so tried to use her as an example. He eventually calmed a bit but was upset about going to the doctor still.
When we got there he told the nurse about his owie and the doctor and even stepped on the scale (26 lbs haha) by himself etc, yay!!! accomplishments. It was a LONG appointment partly because I misunderstood one part and was waiting in one area instead of another....ugh lets blame it on pregnancy brain lol
On our way home Isaac said "That wasn't scary!" =] Another yay moment!
That afternoon I needed to lay down on the couch for a little bit. And Jackson came over and put a blanket on me, gave me his teddy bear, and 3 kisses on the nose and 3 hugs! awwww very sweet!
Sadly I woke up sick at 4:30am....the same sick I had last time where I was throwing up for like 10 hours. I didn't heal as fast like last time but partly because I couldn't sleep well Tuesday night which didn't help me heal.
Anyways i'm grateful Spencer was able to stay home with me. Because I knew what the sickness was going to be like I expected how it would go for the most part. But you still hit a point where you can't get sick again, you just can't do it! But your body doesn't care what you want lol I still have no idea if it was like a flu thing or a food thing but it doesn't really matter. I woke up this morning feeling SOO much better (at 4:30am lol and couldn't fall back asleep go figure)
When i'm sick I like to be sick alone, so I will shut myself in a room or bathroom depending on the time etc. My heart was racing so much that I couldn't sleep much so this time around I really was on my phone a lot to pass time. And at one point started craving ice water!
But our bedroom door doesn't lock....I don't think. So every so often Jackson would sneak into the bedroom. It was adorable lol nice little moments to brighten my day. At one point I dropped my phone on the ground and so when he came in I asked if he could pick it up for me. So he picked it up and then gave me my drink and said drink, then tore off some toilet paper and said nose for me to blow my nose and then tried to give me another blanket. lol He can be such a sweetheart!
One time he sneaked in and gave this sly smile and whispered "hi mommy" and spencer was in there but didn't know Jackson was yet and then yelled HI DADDY! lol
And then Spencer brought Isaac in at one point and said he wanted to just sit and snuggly by me for a little bit and I said that was fine, he was really good at being careful and gentle around me. =]
Baby girl's name is Emma, this time around she moves so she moved A LOT probably very upset that I was jousling her around and she wasn't getting much food lol but it meant we had some small bonding moments as well.
A little later in the day I asked for a blessing, i'm so thankful for the Priesthood and the comfort, reminder, guidance, and blessings it gives us. Part of it was saying sometimes things happen to bring us closer to Him again. Which I have to admit I've been struggling to get back to wear I was in the gospel. It's a very slow start back but I was reminded of the scripture. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11: 28-30)
Sometimes we are given more than we can handle and that's to remind us that we have the Savior to help us pass those hard struggles that we can't do alone.
< this picture describes exactly how I felt I was as I was so broken down and helpless and needing my SaviorI have a loving husband who brought me things I needed and took care of the kids but even with loving spouse and friends there was only so much people could do so my Savior was there in the beginning or I should say I was constantly communicating with him the moment I knew I was sick and was desperately going to need his help. But in those hard sick moments I also witnessed beautiful moments from my sweet little family that reminded me the good i'm doing.
It's very easy to forget and not be grateful for your health until your in poor condition. I have goals and things I would like to accomplish but I can't be perfect in them yet. Just a few steps at a time but I have come along way in a few ways and I will take that! =]
There were other thoughts I had planned to say, I should of taken notes when they popped in my head so eventually I may be writing another post.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Baby Girl
20 weeks!
Finally was the day to see what gender our sweet baby was. The tech was nice but man it took forever to check all the normal things they need to do so poor Spencer was stuck with the two boys for 30 plus minutes until we could call them back :/
I have an anterior placenta, and she is curled in a ball low. He had to push really hard a few times OW to move her to see different angles.
But all is good and healthy! Doesn't matter how many kids you have these ultrasounds are so amazing!
Ta Da it's a girl! I should of recorded Isaac's reaction he was SO excited he was right! It was super sweet. And as we left he said he was going to feed her, cuddle her and change her. He is going to be such a great big brother to a sister. We asked what her name would be and he says "sister". lol
Oh she is measuring 19 weeks and 2 days but tech said at this point it goes more by how your other babies etc are so he wasn't worried or moving the date.
Half way! It felt like it was going to be forever until I got here. Now i'm here...oh snap!
I knew it was a girl and not because I did kind of want a girl, I just knew it and no matter how hard I worked at being neutral (friends will attest I worked hard at being neutral) I just had a gut feeling.
I'm still in a bit of shock, like is it really a girl? it will probably become more real once we have girly things in the house, which will really only be clothes because all the items we get like bouncers etc will be gender neutral. I'm more of a purple fan then pink but i'm sure we will have a mix of things for her.
I'm excited to know and now plan for a girl. =]
We have 2-3 names in the works and once we have a solid decision I will share it.
I also realized i'm not a huge bow person for babies but there are these ones one pinterest I've seen that I like and seems I could make them easily too.
I didn't realize until my 20 week picture that I am carrier higher and straight out with this baby more then the boys, I didn't even realize it. So interesting how your body carries babies differently.
I'm kind of ready to be done with the pregnancy, its better then it was but I'm still feeling blah and just would rather her be here lol but of course I want her to be developed all the way and healthy.
I don't crave tons and still have to force myself to eat all the time but we survive with rough days here and there. I am getting bigger and realizing more and more things are going to be difficult to reach or do so it will be interesting as we continue along.
It's been so sweet to hear the excitement everyone has for me with it being a girl and just another cute baby, its amazing. Both grandmas reactions were awesome!!!
On a random note I've been surprised about a few things that have happened with people, details don't matter. But In all of it I've realized how much I've grown as a person and that makes me feel great because there are things that truly would have bothered me but now I feel mature and grown up to totally be fine with certain decisions that would of upset me. Which also makes me realize how much Spencer and I have been growing together and I love that, that's always the goal for me.
Happy New Year (late), I have a few resolutions, mostly to get back to where I was before I got pregnant with every category lol But i'm just not myself with this pregnancy so I take super baby steps and look into other things to try spiritually and physically etc to still make me feel like i'm making progress.
We have a lot of exciting things happening for us this year and i'm excited!
Finally was the day to see what gender our sweet baby was. The tech was nice but man it took forever to check all the normal things they need to do so poor Spencer was stuck with the two boys for 30 plus minutes until we could call them back :/
I have an anterior placenta, and she is curled in a ball low. He had to push really hard a few times OW to move her to see different angles.
But all is good and healthy! Doesn't matter how many kids you have these ultrasounds are so amazing!
Ta Da it's a girl! I should of recorded Isaac's reaction he was SO excited he was right! It was super sweet. And as we left he said he was going to feed her, cuddle her and change her. He is going to be such a great big brother to a sister. We asked what her name would be and he says "sister". lol
Oh she is measuring 19 weeks and 2 days but tech said at this point it goes more by how your other babies etc are so he wasn't worried or moving the date.
Half way! It felt like it was going to be forever until I got here. Now i'm here...oh snap!
I knew it was a girl and not because I did kind of want a girl, I just knew it and no matter how hard I worked at being neutral (friends will attest I worked hard at being neutral) I just had a gut feeling.
I'm still in a bit of shock, like is it really a girl? it will probably become more real once we have girly things in the house, which will really only be clothes because all the items we get like bouncers etc will be gender neutral. I'm more of a purple fan then pink but i'm sure we will have a mix of things for her.
I'm excited to know and now plan for a girl. =]
We have 2-3 names in the works and once we have a solid decision I will share it.
I also realized i'm not a huge bow person for babies but there are these ones one pinterest I've seen that I like and seems I could make them easily too.
I didn't realize until my 20 week picture that I am carrier higher and straight out with this baby more then the boys, I didn't even realize it. So interesting how your body carries babies differently.
I'm kind of ready to be done with the pregnancy, its better then it was but I'm still feeling blah and just would rather her be here lol but of course I want her to be developed all the way and healthy.
I don't crave tons and still have to force myself to eat all the time but we survive with rough days here and there. I am getting bigger and realizing more and more things are going to be difficult to reach or do so it will be interesting as we continue along.
It's been so sweet to hear the excitement everyone has for me with it being a girl and just another cute baby, its amazing. Both grandmas reactions were awesome!!!
On a random note I've been surprised about a few things that have happened with people, details don't matter. But In all of it I've realized how much I've grown as a person and that makes me feel great because there are things that truly would have bothered me but now I feel mature and grown up to totally be fine with certain decisions that would of upset me. Which also makes me realize how much Spencer and I have been growing together and I love that, that's always the goal for me.
Happy New Year (late), I have a few resolutions, mostly to get back to where I was before I got pregnant with every category lol But i'm just not myself with this pregnancy so I take super baby steps and look into other things to try spiritually and physically etc to still make me feel like i'm making progress.
We have a lot of exciting things happening for us this year and i'm excited!
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