SECA Scan 1

I've been debating on blogging about this. Because these can be very personal numbers, and usually I dont care too much but this is a little more deeper into your numbers.

And i've been a bit self conscious about them lately and even though these numbers might seem amazing to some, they were disappointing to me.

I join a team of 4 (we still need 1 more for our 4) for a fitness challenge called Zults War! I am SUPER excited for it! I've met some pretty awesome ladies at the gym and we've been taking some classes together. We all met while taking an ignite class with the awesome coach Michael who asked us if we wanted to join Zults War. We all said YES we are in!

It started yesterday on my 25th birthday! =] The first week we get a Seca Scan because the end results are based on how much percentage of fat you lost not just the weight on the scale. So we are aiming to make fat into muscle. Then based off our results we get a weekly meal plan each week for the next 5-6 weeks. (This part I will struggle with, my picky eater makes things difficult but I know part of my unhealthiness if because I dont eat well) But I'm ready for the change and will take 1 day at a time.

One quote I found that i'm going to be trying to read daily "Dont think about what can happen in a month. Dont think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be." I sometimes look at the whole thing and get overwhelmed but if I just think about that day, it wont feel so hard.

I am going to post a few snap shots of my results and example what each number represents.

The number on the left ^ is how much fat I have pound wise and what it rounds out to percentage wise. The goal is to make those numbers less. 

I thought this was kind of cool. You want to be in the green range so i'm good there but the higher up I am, the better. So on the left is how much muscle I have in my whole body and the others are what areas have how much muscle. so i'm a little higher on my right sides because i'm right handed. I can see that i'm gaining more muscle. Even though this was my first Seca scan I know my muscle mass is A LOT better then it was 3 plus months ago. Now my torso area is VERY sad...its a work in progress. 

I also liked this, it tells you how much water is in your body. I was 80% which they say 80 or better is where you want to be. Score! I have been doing pretty good on my water the past month or so. 

I know me and the 2 girls I have on our team so far are going to do great at pushing each other but the first week or two might be pretty hard tell I get on a good schedule. I've fallen behind recently and i'm pretty disappointed in myself because I haven't felt fantastic lately. My goal is at the end of May we are going back to visit family and friends and I really want to be the best I've ever felt and looked. Being on vacation for 2 weeks is going to be hard in general to keep with my workouts but I am going to do my best to get out and do things. 

I will probably post weekly or so to keep you updated on my Zults War 6 week journey! 

A Runners Thoughts

Today as I was running I started thinking how my brain is ALL over the place when i'm running!
So thought why not post a few things that are probably running through your brain as you run. I'm sure its different for everyone

"I got this!"

"Don't trip"

"Breathe in, breathe out"

"I'm doing awesome!"

"I'm not going to make it..."

"I feel sick"

"Your not sick!"

"Oh no I feel a side cramp coming on"

"Oooh great song!"

"I can't do this"

"I can do this!"

"I feel amazing!" *picture how cool I probably look while i'm running*

"Tighten your core"

"I've only gone 10 minutes?"

"Only 10 minutes left!"

"I've burned ____ calories, wow!"

"Should I slow down?"

"Okay I think I cant go any longer"

"yup side cramp, got to stop"

All while thinking all these thoughts, a lot on repeat I am also staring at a wall, or a picture or glance at other runners, or the tv that's on. And sometimes even think about random things that happened that day, or things that happened in the past, or things i'm looking forward to. I also think about things that have frustrated me or might frustrate me to push myself with that anger. =]
We don't need to list those things lol they are different for everyone anyways.

Feel free to add the thoughts that go into your mind that I haven't listed!!

Things I have learned Part 2

52 life changing questions from The Book of Mormon:

Chapter 29 "Do you look forward with an eye of Faith" Alma 5:15

Alma taught that we should "nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof". In other words, even though we may not yet be able to see the results of the spiritual efforts we are making, we should continue to make those efforts. In time, we will be able to taste of the sweet fruit that we once saw only with "an eye o faith."
"Faith as the evidence of things not seen looks to the past and confirms our trust in God and our confidence in the truthfulness of things not seen. We stepped into the darkness with assurance and hope, and we received evidence and confirmation as the light in fact moved and provided the illumination we needed. The witness we obtained after the trial of our faith (Ether 12:6) is evidence that enlarges and strengthens our assurance." -Elder Bednar
"We don't always know the details of our future. We do not know what lies ahead. We live in a time of uncertainty. We are surrounded by challenged on all sides. Occasionally discouragement may sneak in to our day; frustration may invite itself into our thinking; doubt might enter about the value of our work. In these dark moments Satan whispers in our ears that we will never be able to succeed, that the price isn't worth the effort, and that our small part will never make a difference...But God will bless you and open the eyes of your understanding so you can see the end from the beginning." -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I just love this, it all speaks for itself in my opinion.

Chapter 30 "Can ye feel so now?" Alma 5:26

"If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"

Ask yourself when you felt that love "What were you doing then that you are not doing now?" (if you don't feel it now) or "What were you doing earlier in your relationship that you are no longer doing? etc.

Young Man: "I just can't shake the feeling that I let the Lord down because I never served (I put here whatever fault or mistake I made so it can apply to any situation)?

Leader: "The past is important and the regrets we feel are very real consequences of the poor choices we have made. Still, I think the Lord is more concerned about what IS than what WAS."

I LOVE THIS ^^^^ I dwell so much on my mistakes sometimes instead of letting them go and realizing I'm so much better now and this just made me realize he cares how I am now not how I was especially if I've repented and moved on from those things.

"Sometimes our regretful remorse can almost overpower the song we currently want to sing. We can't change the past, but we can repent, learn from it, and move forward."

"My sincere prayer is that each of us will take any necessary action to feel the Spirit now so we can sing the song of redeeming love with all our hearts." -Elder Quentin L. Cook



Then from a book "Healing the inner self" By: Melvin Fish

"Charity is pure love, or a love that knows no bounds, the pure love of Christ. Charity comes as a gift of the spirit and we all should pray for it continually. With charity you love so completely that you have perfect empathy. You feel what the other person feels, and you have the ability to truly see things as the other person would see them. This does not mean that you approve of what the other person is doing. You can hate what someone does and still love that person to the point that you would die for him or her"

"I believe that Christ cannot fill you with Light just because you "accept Him as your personal Savior." You must be a vessel that is prepared to hold Light. It is His atoning sacrifice that makes that complete cleansing possible."

"Because we only see people as they are now, not as they could be."
^In some cases I agree with this but the closer I get to the Gospel the more I see what people can be! It's amazing how your perceptive of people can change when you start seeing them how God sees us.

There were a few scriptures I know I highlighted and loved but flipping through I couldn't find them! haha I will and add them to a later blog.
Hope you learned a little something from these blogs that will stick with you! =]

Things I have learned Part 1

Through my now daily study in the scriptures or other material I've been learning new things. A lot I have learned before but either forgot or the way someone wrote it hit me different now. I share things on Facebook sometimes but I thought I'd share some things I've learned or liked weather scriptural our just other things.

First I will start with this one blog post I found on motherhood, here is the link if you want to read the whole article: http://www.scarymommy.com/motherhood-rediscovering-myself/?utm_source=FB

Let me first say only parts of the article apply to me, I don't agree with everything she says so I will post my favorite parts.

Motherhood-rediscovering myself:

" I made a promise to go looking for that girl, but I am not going to find her by going backward. The past has passed, and my experience with motherhood and marriage can bring about a deeper awareness of myself if I allow it. So I go looking forward, I go looking for the woman, and not the girl—the woman who is enough for herself and needs no validation to feel secure and valued in this world."
I agree that once you get married and have kids that you sometimes lose who you used to be. Not that you aren't amazing but sometimes you feel like you miss parts of yourself. Because you do become this different person to help love your family and raise children and fill new positions.

"I go to the gym, but not to melt off the muffin top. I go to the gym to get away from the kids, turn my music up loud, and reconnect with my body. I go to the gym to feel more comfortable in this body that has birthed two amazing children and manages to keep up with them on a daily basis. I refill my tank by taking the time to put the energy into my body that equals what I give out."
Now I do go to the gym to get fit and lose weight or tighten areas. By going I have connected with people and found great friendships and bonding. But when you have a baby it changes your body so much in some cases that by working out I've found i'm finding the new me. By a baby growing inside me it seemed to swallow up my old self and now i'm shading all that experience and finding now a new person. (Like a caterpillar in a cocoon into a butterfly!)

"I am enough. Yes, I am a mother and a wife, but I am also a woman. In my journey to discover my identity outside of my home, I found that all I need is within myself, and the compliments, care and compassion of others are an added bonus. No one knows how to treat me better than myself if I allow it, and there is so much strength and confidence in knowing that."
Oh yes, so many times I feel I'm not enough or so much is required of me and there is only so much of me to go around and help everyone and still make time for being true to me.


Next is from another blog post I found! =] https://ldswomanatthewell.wordpress.com/2015/06/03/hello-world/

An honest testimony from a not so typical Mormon: <I think Mormon or not you should read this article. I LOVED this!

"Living the Gospel demands a lot, but living “in the world” I found demands a lot more and it gives a lot less. It has an insatiable appetite with standards that are impossible to meet. Unlike finding completeness in Christ, who came in the fullness of Truth and Grace, the world offers us nothing. It will never fill you up, permanently. You will always come up short and be found wanting. There will always be more and more that you have to do prove yourself to others. "

"What starts out as a little fun, eventually you will find yourself having to do MORE to feel that same thrill. And if your curious about that, just ask an addict. I found myself feeling depleted. I knew I was living a lie. I felt confused and conflicted with my life. I wanted the world to like me, but I also wanted to get right with God. And I knew it was best for my family. I wanted to be better, but I wanted to be the BEST ME with exactly what I had to offer the Kingdom. I knew the times I felt the most satisfaction was when I was trying to live the Gospel the best I could without all the fancy footwork."

Its very true, no matter how many times I've thought I wanted this or that or so and so to like me. When I got what I wanted or felt I needed it never fully satisfied me. I've felt the most full and satisfied recently since reading my scriptures and finding love from my Savior. I still have my moments though of still thinking if I just had this or this person liked me I'd feel complete, I struggle with that, but I'm working on it!

"There comes a point in everyone’s path towards true adult like faith that a decision has to be made and obtained. Will I sit on the bank or will I dive into the stream of God’s love? Complete surrender of an unknown future to a known God. I, finally, decided that I was going to dive in. Head first. Not as some carbon copy of what someone wanted me to be and it’s made all the difference. Accepting the Gospel as me has allowed me to “approach the throne of grace with confidence” but also with a certain vulnerability which after everything is said and done, the only thing I have really to offer in my relationship with God is my authentic self."

"Have I been judged by my past or my tattoos? Yes, on both accounts. Absolutely, I have been offended by comments and actions by others and I have wrestled my faith because of it. For every one person that has made me feel loved and included, there have been one person to make me feel like I didn’t belong. But at the end of the day, at the end of this journey, it’s about me and God. When you are offended it helps to ask yourself these questions: Where is your heart? Your commitment? Is it on God or is it on your community? Because even if your heart lies within your church community, that it STILL aligning yourself with “the world” because your church community is made up of mortal men and women and they WILL disappointment you (even those with the best intentions). Your heart needs to transcend your community where offenses are not heard and received."

I loved how she said even in the church community its still worldly. Because the pure love is from Christ, doesn't mean we shouldn't love everyone and never talk to anyone or be friends with them but our heart belongs with God. We all can be mean to anyone and make mistakes and hurt others but one person that wont ever disappoint us is God.

"I am a Sinner. If you’re looking for perfection, you will be disappointed by me. I am a broken woman with a broken past, but it’s through that brokenness that light is able to shine through. When I learned to accept my past, accept WHO I was….those mistakes and transgressions no longer have power over me. “My chains are gone…I’ve been set free.” There is “freedom in Christ” because I am no longer bound to what I have done."

We should never be held down and bound to our mistakes and past. I struggle sometimes with letting go 100% of the past mistakes and I think that weighs me down. But our past has shown us how much we have grown and changed.

"Elder Maxwell said this,
“Personal sacrifice never was placing an animal on the alter. Instead it is a willingness to place the animal in us upon the alter”
The animal IN us, all of us. I loved that because my former self was this wild untamed thing, from the way that I acted to the way I reacted to life. We all struggle up the same path to Eternity. We are God’s greatest work, no matter what condition we may be in. We are the ONLY creatures on Earth that bear the image of God. That is an incredible honor and I am humbled by it. I cherish Him whose image I reflect. There is joy in this journey, but we have to choose it and KEEP choosing it. Joy isn’t an emotion, but a decision"

LOVE that it says the animal IN us is what we are sacrificing. Letting go of that wild, bad side of things we've done. And of course love that we are made in His image!

fragments

*This post will mainly be about muscle testing so if you don't want to read about that then skip this post.

Last night I had another muscle testing session to help clear more things from me and learn more about the process.
A lot of these things might seem weird to people and at first it does seem weird but it's quite amazing I think and I feel changed and better after each session. I just love it!

One thing is that sometimes physically pains are actually emotional or generational issues passed on to us. Since I've started working out my knees have been achy and my left one hurts on an off. But I was pretty sure I didn't pull anything. But I just kind of dealt with it.

Last night we actually felt it was something my body was ready to release. It turns out it was generational and something past family members had just passed on. Then after we release things we see if there is any evil spirits or anything lingering around that. A new term I learned was harboring spirits. I won't talk much about those spirits today though but that was interesting and makes sense.

We were just sitting and talking a bit about things and we got on the talk of fragments. That some people leave pieces of themselves with others out of caring about people so much or past experiences with people that maybe were emotional. Anyways they are left like impressions on those people and that's why sometimes we sometimes can let friends and people go because in a way parts of us are still attached. Which makes so much since why I have such a hard time when a friend or person in general might only be my friend for so little of time etc. etc.

But you can call those pieces back to you and share your memories with them so they can catch up to where you are now. And clean them of all non light so you don't add more bad spirits to your body. Anyways that was really interesting and I loved that.

We were almost done but felt there was still something lingering so she double checked and there was a disembodied spirit (a person that had a body but died and is still lingering down here on earth)
And we ask if we need to know more like if its a male or female and if we need to know who if its a friend or relative etc.
We found out that it was my mom's dad, my grandpa who died when my mom was 2. I've of course never met him but it was amazing the feeling. And we help figure out what they need, in his case he felt bad about things he had done and wanted to release those things. For him it was drinking a lot and smoking a lot. (He died of colon cancer) Anyways after we did that he was ready to be sent up to heaven.
My mom already got all of his work done in the temple, he just wasn't ready until now. Anyways we then asked if he made it up there, and he did.
I know it may sound strange but the overwhelming feeling was amazing and that we could help him be ready and send him on his way.
And through that I got more spirits farther down the family line that were lingering waiting to see if he made it and nothing bad happened so then they decided they were ready too.
It's an amazing experience that we get to help ourselves and also helping others along the way.

It's been a neat things to learn about =]

A moment of Zen

It's interesting how making some of the littlest changes in your life can change your attitude about things.
I used to love finding those articles that wrote about the crazy life of being a mother and how crazy kids are. I've probably even written one myself. I loved seeing that I wasn't the only one struggling.
But there are some articles even though their posts may be right they always make it seem like they don't even love their kids. Or that motherhood is such a drag and frustrating.

I do understand the moments though, for example I have one child that has been constantly whining over everything the past couple days and I really rely on those Zen moments.
I got this idea from the article I was talking about but I will list my Zen moments. It's different for every mother but list and find your Zen moments.

For me:

1. My number one is nap time!!! But I always prepare for not as long of a nap so that i'm not disappointed in case they don't sleep as long as they should have.

2. When I really need a moment I give in to tablet time because sometimes maybe you just need a moment to breathe, go to the bathroom, eat a meal.... alone! =]

3. Bath time, that's a hit or miss but they are contained to one spot and they cant get out so the only struggle is making sure they don't dump water all over the floor.

4. A walk outside. I strap one to my back and strap one in the stroller, sometimes we all could use some fresh air. For at least a few moments we are all calm and refreshed and mommy gets some exercise that always helps.

5. Snack time, it may cause a mess sometimes but they are focused to stuffing their face that I could have a minute or two to myself if I needed it.

6. Of course bedtime!! I have an instant weight off my shoulders once they are sound asleep in bed. Bliss =]

Always prepare for those times where you know to expect them to act out or being whiny. One of those for me is when I make dinner the kids ALWAYS come up to beg for food or want to help or want to be held. Without fail! I haven't found a toy or anything that helps but I know to prepare for it. It's also learning to know your children, One of mine isn't as easily distracted as the other so I have to work harder on knowing what works for them.

My kids have made me who I am, a mom. And they bring me so much joy! And I used to see the frustrating moments more then the good moments. We have our days of course, no one is perfect =]
A few of my favorite things as mother is seeing their faces of joy when I surprise them with taking them out for lunch or a treat. Also when I see they are learning something good (giving hugs and kisses to their brother when they are crying, or cleaning up without asking them too, or saying sorry or thank you etc...)

I've been stepping out of my comfort zone to get to know new people, writing a book (even though its very stressful) but also really exciting, trying something new. A lot of these things are things I have loved but just never thought I could do. There is more on the list but we will just do a few things at a time =]

When you view the world differently it changes your perspective on things.

"The only thing that's constant is change" we've had plans and things are always changing. Our lives are always going in different directions then we have originally planned but when we follow those changes we come to find we needed those changes in our lives.
I'm really excited for all the new plans we have made! While we wait on those changes I am loving the progress I have made in these past 6 month.

Find your moments of Zen in your crazy life and take those moments to breathe and be grateful for all that you've been given. Pass on the love and kindness to others.