Superhero's

Let's talk about superhero's! =]
We've been watching the show The Flash (if you haven't seen it, its pretty good). Basically he gets fast speed after getting struck by lightning.
But what I found cool was every so often he has to defeat something like a evil person. And they have to figure out how to beat them. And sometimes they might say you need to do this or that. And Flash will say I can't do that. But he always ends up practicing and learning something new. In the end they almost always defeat the bad guys.

I started relating ourselves to Superhero's. We may not have super speed, super strength, Spider powers etc but we are born with gifts but we have to work on them. And not be afraid and know we can do anything we practice and try hard on.

And we also have bad guys sometimes we need to defeat and some of those bad guys are just bad thoughts in our heads. Maybe thinking we aren't good enough or smart enough to do things.

I will list a few examples for me:
Photography, loved it and always have. I've taken classes but I always seem to fail at perfecting things. But it's because I don't practice enough to get good at the technique. I luck out and sometimes still get good pictures but I've given up.

Singing, love singing and i'm fairly good at it. But between stage fright and little practice my voice is already changing. I've just never practice and thought I wasn't good enough.

Writing a book, always felt like I should write a book fiction or non fiction i'm not sure but obviously if your reading my blogs you will see i'm terrible at punctuation and sometimes I use the wrong (their, there, and they're) lol I could study and practice this but I think its too hard and so I give up.

I'm still working on fighting those "you aren't good enough" voices in my head =]

We are all Superhero's if we put our mind to things!

Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?

I think things happen for a reason. There are times when maybe a scripture hits us now verses last time we read it. Or bad things happen to us but they happen so that later we appreciate things even more. It starts then a chain effect that changes our lives depending on what we do what we get that impression or that advice etc.

Let's start off first with Joseph Smith and the passage he came across. James 1:5 "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

In his words he says "Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did......."At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God."

I believe Joseph was ready at that time to feel what he felt with that scripture by feeling that it led him to kneel in prayer to God and ask the question that had been bothering him about what church was the right church to join. This led to an experience that changed his live and our lives forever! The powerful experience he had and how powerful God is. He wants the best for us and will be there to guide us when we feel lost and alone.

He was ready in that moment and he had to make a decision, because we have our agency to chose to change things and believe what we hear and see or not.

This brings me to how lately I've been not just reading the scriptures but learning to study them. To ponder and ask questions that I might better understand the things I read. I also start off with a prayer that Spirit will help me to understand the things I am reading and learn.
I've been feeling the Spirit as I read but last night I ran across a story I had vaguely remembered but what brought across how things happen to us but if they hadn't happened to us we wouldn't of made the choices we did after the suffer we might have gone through.

I know I've talked about this before but I will be relating to my ear infection incident.
I was reading in Acts Chapter 9 about a man Saul who was "yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord." One day he was journeying to Damascus and "suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven. And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutes thou me?"

What an experience! A bright light coming out of no where and hearing the voice of Jesus Christ telling you to "Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do." Once the light was gone he found that it had blinded him but he did what he was told. He was blind for 3 days but he waited like the Lord had told him until a man named Ananias to heal his sight.
(On a side note when the Lord is telling Ananias to go see that man, Ananias, at first was confused because he knew Saul had done lots of evil but the Lord said "He is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel."

Once Sauls sight was restored He arose, got baptized, ate, and straightway preached Christ in the synagogues, that he is the Son of God." Saul had completely changed and by that change the bad people that followed him noticed and he was able to help save and bring people to Christ.

It just goes back to my ear I felt so broken and not myself and was feeling sick a lot and when I felt I was at a breaking point my ears were coming back to normal. And I knew what I was at that breaking point that once I was better I was changing my ways. I was going to strengthen my body and care for it the best I could. I had failed so many times at attempting to be healthier.
But having that feeling of being broken I knew I didn't want to feel that anymore and I fought so much harder at taken care of my body once I was back to normal.
I was ready to care about myself.

That change for me led to meeting new people and led to experiences of sharing the Gospel with people I had never done before which in return led to me studying the Gospel more then I had ever done before which leads me to where I am now and feeling The Holy Ghost daily in my life and becoming a happier person.

Lastly I will say that we still have the agency of making that change or not. I could of still choice not to become healthier and stronger, it would of been very easy to fall back into my comfort zone and not break my habits. I'm very grateful for the choice I made and where it has led me. It also is the same reason i'm grateful we moved to Oregon, it was hard and I could of said no and stayed in the great life we had but I wouldn't be the person I am today if we had stayed in my comfort zone.

Life is Worth Living

 It's almost been SIX months since we moved to Oregon. I'm so glad we got the promoting to move here and that we followed through with it. It's been the best thing we've ever done.
I have changed so much since we've moved here, for the better of course.
I'm sad it took so long to become the person I'm working on but it's so worth it.
I've had plenty of bumps and bruises along the way, figuratively and not figuratively lol

Oddly enough the song "life is worth living" by Justin bieber comes to mind.
I may get frustrated over things that seem so little to outsiders but for whatever reason they can turn my day upside down and I might have a break down and honestly during some of those days I don't want to feel that way anymore. Life seems so hard during those moments. Not that I want to end my life necessarily but that I don't think I will survive that day.
But oddly enough the next day always seems just a little bit better.
"Life is worth living, so live another day"
You'll always have those rough days but they almost always go away so don't judge your life by those days.

I've recently realized though that through those rough days is how I've come to the amazing decisions I have made in life. That are making me a better person.

From crying so much from sickness pain to now rejoicing in the pain from my body getting stronger daily.

From not knowing the gospel as well as I thought I did to now diving every day into the scriptures to grow closer to my Heavenly Father that now daily I feel the spirit filling my life with joy and happiness.

From tough, long days with the boys without Spencer to loving and appreciating him even more.

Wanting to go outside and explore the outdoors more then ever before because I want to make memories with my boys that someday they will thank me for.

And being in control of my emotions and not letting what other people say or do or don't say or don't do change my mood.

My love for everyone has grown

Tomorrow is always a new day!

Highly Sensitive Person

I remember in 4th or 5th grade in choir people wrote words for each person in the class. And later that year you got a certificate or something with all the words to describe you on it.
One word on my list was sensitive, and I was so upset by that word. I took it as people thinking I was weak and an emotional person. Reacting like that pretty much shows how true it was lol

I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), I may not have all the signs but a good amount of them to be considered a Sensitive Person.
I thought I would list a few things that fit me.

1. They feel more deeply. "They're very intuitive, and go very deep inside to try to figure things out."

2. They're more emotionally reactive. "They will have more empathy and feel more concern for a friend's problems."

3. They prefer to exercise solo "May tend to avoid team sports, where there's a sense that everyone is watching their every move" (In some cases working out by myself in a room is better but I also like groups too because of the support they give and makes you work harder)

4. It takes longer for them to make decisions and are more upset if they make a "bad" or "wrong" decision. (Now its hard but I quickly decide things and then later I will sometimes regret to choice I made)

5. They're extremely detail-oriented. "They are the first to notice the details in a room, the new shoes that you're wearing, or a change in weather" (now I do notice when something is new or off but not always)

6. 70% of HSP are introverts. I am an introvert

7. They work well in team environments. "Because they are such deep thinkers, they make valuable workers and members of teams. However, they may be well-suited for positions in teams where they don't have to make the final decision."

8. They're more prone to anxiety or depression. (Not all the time but I have my moments of both)

9. That annoying sound is probably significantly more annoying to a highly sensitive person. "They tend to be more easily overwhelmed and overstimulated by too much activity" (it really depends on the annoying noise and who i'm around)

10. Violent movies are the worst "Because highly sensitive people are so high in empathy and more easily overstimulated, movies with violence or horror themes may not be their cup of tea." (haha this is funny because Spencer was recently watching a semi violent movie and its probably not that bad but I just didn't care and couldn't really watch and I've always been that way)

11. They cry more easily. "I do even more since I've become married and had children but I don't cry in front of people haha i'm not that kind of a crier but I do cry)

12. They have above-average manners. "They're more likely to be considerate an exhibit good manners-- and are also more likely to notice when someone else isn't being conscientious. They don't want to be rude and have something of theirs blocking someone else in a store" (YES! so me! especially in public places lol)

13. The effects of criticism are especially amplified. " People pleasing! People can say something negative, and a non HSP can say "whatever", and it doesn't affect them, but a HSP would feel it much more deeply" (I recall a situation when someone said whatever to me and I took it hard but it was ridiculous thinking about it now. but yes I will get a criticism of maybe clean this way or do this a certain way and I will feel like a failure or stupid because I was doing it a wrong way or a different way then I should of been doing and think their upset with me. I HATE this one!)

14. cubicles= good, open office plans = bad. "HSP enjoy working from home or being self-employed because they can control the stimuli in their work environments. Or a cubicle with more privacy and less noise

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/26/highly-sensitive-people-signs-habits_n_4810794.html

"Sensitive people should be treasured. They love deeply and think deeply about life. They are loyal, honest, and true. The simple things sometimes mean the most to them. They don't need to change or harden. Their purity makes them who they are." -Kristen Butler

^ That makes me feel a little better about being sensitive. I may never love being sensitive. WRiting this list made me feel weird and different like i'm some special person that needs taken care of.

I do love and care for people strongly and not always the way they might like being loved or cared for but its their in my heart. And I never want to offend or hurt them.

It says we like being alone mostly but I LOVE my one on one with friends and its something I need to get by through hard days, weeks, or months. Being away from friends I used to hang out with makes it harder to get together easily with other people. But i'm glad I have people to get together with eventually. I'd write more but I would probably seem even more weird so we will just leave it like this. =] (Side note, just because you may not be an HSP doesn't mean you have to walk on egg shells around me, I've been through a lot and i'm used to reacting how I always do. it shouldn't effect how you treat me. it might make it easier but its never fair for someone to change who they are because they are around someone different)

Now you have a little more insight into me....scary!!!