Birthdays!!

I love being happy, and not just happy but HAPPY! When life just feels good for no real reason. At this moment that’s kind of how I’m feeling. Last night I felt the same way too, not sure why. Towards the end I was getting moody but I was tired so it explains a lot.

Tooele was a much needed vacation. Oh how I love my family. Our little crazy moments. I dug into my cake with my mouth no fork or spoon. Of course I got cake al over my face and even up my nose but it was really fun =] It was a Tinkerbell cake =]

Basically the main reason of going out to Tooele was to celebrate our March birthdays. Which would be Stephanie’s on the 10^th, Jerimiah’s on the 11^th, and mine on the 28^th. =] yay for birthdays!!! Jerimiah got this cool cupcake woody and buzz cake, Stephanie got a mini Belle cake, and I got a mini Tinkerbell one and we got matching cups to go with them! My family means so much to me! We had a lot of fun and its even better with little kids because they do and say the darnest things. Cache talks in Chinese I swear, and Jerimiah just is crazy funny.

Spencer was able to come out as well and we went on a double date with my friend Kate and her boyfriend. We saw Rango, which I wasn’t fond of BUT Rango was pretty funny being that it was Johnny Depp and he does amazing!

I love my mom very much. There are days when for no reason my love for her is just really strong! I know some people that don’t like their mothers very much and I can see why. To that I say be nice and kind, but don’t let them ruin their life completely. Not every mother knows best but know that how she is, is not how you want to be when you’re a mom. So be a better mom then she is! Be the mom you would have loved your mom to be. Now you know what you want =]

Oh we had daylight savings time again which didn’t affect me too much but time will tell. Spencer is catching a cold, and now Heather has one. I really hope I don’t end up catching it but you never know. Eeek!

Man I had so much fun with my roommates last night. And for once I am really considered for one of my roommates. It’s about time I take action. And we shall, but I’m not sure the right way of doing so. I am going to need a lot of God’s help on this one.

To my lovely Fiance I am going to get my butt in shape and work out!!!

And do better with my homework as well. Accounting isn’t too bad right now but it’s getting a tad harder. Its working my brain.

I just need help with remembering things and keeping myself busy at work. I am tired of always looking at a computer screen for five hours every day. My poor eyes haha

Forgetfullness

You know what I find crazy is how once we find something in common with someone it’s the coolest thing in the world! I was on Trax today and met a guy. He got back a little while ago from his mission in South Carolina. It ends up that he is getting married the same day I am. Crazy world am I right! Then a couple days ago I ran into a friend from my Michigan ward, Ben Halling, in the LDSBC school elevator. It’s been 6-7 years since I’ve seen him. I thought he looked familiar. Man it was another crazy thing. Things like that make me feel way happy for some reason!

Then Mr. Logan came over a couple nights ago and Suki and I were talking to him. Then he started talking in his King Julian voice which is FREAKING HILARIOUS!!! So we recorded him to keep as memories whenever we need a good laugh.

I have this stinking knot in my shoulder, its going to be the death of me I hate that!!

I love my job and am honored of how important I am thanks to Bonnie for making me realize that. There are sometimes that I wish we did more though because I get really tired of just sitting up hear waiting for a project or a phone to ring. I need to move, I feel fat just sitting here, and even though I am not fat I know.

Lately I have been VERY forgetful and clumsy.  I put things in my phone but then I don’t remember to look at my phone to remind myself. I feel so unorganized in my mind, for the wedding, for friends, for school, and for my home. Then if I could post all the bruises and scratches I have from running into things I would. Yesterday for example I said to myself Holly watch out for that dresser corner…then what do I do… RUN INTO IT! I have this bruise/scratch on my arm now. It hurt!

BLAH!

Maybe this weekend I can sort things out and get things organized. I have 2 ½ hours left and then THE WEEKEND!! I am so flipping excited! =] Then Spencer and I are going to Tooele for mine, Stephanie’s, and Jeremiahs birthday party! WOOT WOOT =] It’ll be nice to get out of Tooele for a little while.

I sure love Spencer he is the sweetest! I am so lucky I found someone like him =] this morning he left a bag on my bike and when I opened it, it was sour gummies and a note that said have a great day. He is thee best!

I love when we are able to talk about things and work things out; I think that’s really good.

Summer and I watched Megamind last night and then Suki and Summer attacked me on my bed so that Suki could get my birthday out of me. I told her to look at the calendar and she didn’t want to. Well it was interesting let me tell you haha

This morning was great though, Suki helped me look even more beautiful! =]

Then off Summer and I went to catch Trax.

Life is constantly moving and I feel dizzy from it all but that’s why this little vacation is going to be great =] I can breathe a bit and laugh with my lovely family!!!

Sorry I’ve been terrible at writing in here…it’s because of my forgetfulness. I will try to do better. That and English homework is stressing me out even though it’s so easy! Lol

Wish me luck! =]

Please enjoy this lovely weather, go do something amazing! Don’t forget to take a picture!! *Snap*

Time flies

There are times when I just want to go up to a stranger and hug them because they look like they need it. But I don’t know, I just wish the world was different sometimes. I was sitting across from this guy on Trax and we made eye contact and he didn’t really smile. He almost looked sad. I guess I didn’t really smile either but I hope I didn’t look sad. I started playing games on my iPod and then we looked over at each other again and he smiled at me and I smiled back. =] It made me know that he was okay, and a happy person. I hope so anyways.

Man yesterday was kind of rough at first but then turned out amazing! It ended so nicely I just can’t even express.

Basically there was a decision that needed to be made soon and there were some against it and others that were okay with it. I wanted to do it for me of course. So I prayed about it and talked to my parents and got a blessing. It was really nice to talk to my dad because we don’t always have a heart to heart about things. And I almost cried because it meant so much to me and opened my eyes a bit. I wish our family was always like that. Then I went home and got a blessing. The things that were said once again brought tears to my eyes. I can’t explain how good it felt to know Heavenly Father felt that way. Basically now I know what I need to do and I know I can do it. It’ll be a struggle but I can do it. =]

Suki got a blessing as well and that was just awesome. Afterwards her and I sat and talked about some things. Then I made an awesome chore chart for us roommates! Then when Mary got home we explained what we did and how we think it all should go. I felt good about that.

Then it was getting SUPER late and we needed to go to bed. Suki and I were so silly and goofy that we decided to do that upside face talking thing. I can’t explain it all but we video taped it. HAHA hilarious!

Something weird I noticed was that when it’s really late I feel really sick if I am not going to bed. Like I could almost throw up, man I’m getting old.

On a final note it was interesting, every time I tried to think back on the blessing I would remember things then remember that it wasn’t from the blessing but from my home teacher or my dad. THEN I thought they were hard to tell apart because what they were saying was through God. Some thing he knew I needed to hear. =]

Crazy how things work out that way! Well time sure is going to fly. Or it better, but I do know what I need to work on now!

Assumption

We all do it! We assume things, we judge others. I was thinking this morning about how maybe not all of us but some watch/listen to people. We pay attention to what people say and do. Then we hear someone say something about this one or two people and do we agree with what they say or have our own idea.
I admit I assume things and judge people and yeah I am right most of the time but it doesn't make it right. Lately i've heard things about others weather I know them or not and have moved on with it. Instead of making it into a big deal I know listen to them and continue on. My life is more important then theirs. I've learned to realize that it's not always what we think. There are sometimes I hear bad things others have done but thats not my place to judge them. We all make mistakes weather I know what they did is true or not.
This is probably not about any of you BUT I thought i'd share my insight.
It's not your place or my place to judge someone. And you know it's made me realize how much I love those people and would be there for them despite their situations. =] Their human just like me and you!

On a side note it's been awhile since I have been to the temple but Friday I went! I am very thankful that I did because a peace fell over me. I knew I was in a good place and that nothing could harm me. It was like a dream and I felt good inside. I felt happy serving the Lord. Another thing that I felt was clean. I've never experienced that feeling before but it was amazing.

On another side note I got my wedding dress! =] After I tried on 4 dresses, I would of taken any of them really. The lady that helped me was Kate she was really nice. She was a peacock for Halloween which is funny since that's what i'm going with. It was really weird at first trying on a wedding dress, never done that before. David's Bridal in Provo was really helpful. I am satisfied! I would post a picture BUT my fiance would see since we reads this and I don't want him to see it! =]
If you want to see a picture email me or facebook me and i'll send you one.

Last night was AMAZINGLY fun!! Chanelle kidnapped Summer, Suki, and I and blind folded us. She drove us up to the capitol and we sat outside on a bench in the snow and ate Peanut butter and jelly sandwichs and drank mountain dew. We laughed SO much, and got some great pictures!! It was FREEZING though lol It was totally worth it though. We are the kidnapping sisters! So much fun!

Got to see most of my family yesterday too and that was really nice =]

Once again I still miss my Peacock family =] once I still that car/van i'll see you all soon!!

Just thoughts

Just some thoughts:

Friendships change- I know there are some friends I’ve had for awhile and then you’re not as good of friends. But the thing that means the most is that they still care. I talked to a friend a few days ago and helped them realize something and they liked that I cared. We’ve never hated each other really but we just never talked as much. But I knew there was a struggle going on and they needed to know someone cared. Yes, friendships change but you will always be “friends” with that person.  Let me also add that sometimes even though you have a “best friend” and you talk to them about EVERYTHING. If days go by and you guys don’t talk as much there is nothing wrong with that. Just being with them is enough, I feel. There are times when you just don’t need to say things.

Time flies- You’ve always heard the saying “time flies when your having fun” or maybe also about getting older times starts to move faster. Holy Crap is it true! I’ve always thought my days went by SO slow. Lately now that I have a pretty busy life it’s a surprise to me that it’s already the weekend or already Monday. I am keeping myself busy, and yes at work sometimes it’s really boring and slow but I try to keep myself busy. I suggest keeping yourself busy, having fun, but take time to rest so you don’t wear yourself out.

Memories- I try to always take pictures or videos to keep memories. Now if you watch “Raising hope” then you will understand this post. Do you remember those moments when you looked back on a picture from like 2 years ago or a video from when you were 4? And then you start going “Oh I remember that, what a great day.” Or “I was so cute!” You have the flash back on all the good times or even embarrassing moments. I love that! Now we also have those times, especially girls, when we say “I was so skinny back then, what happened” or the simple “I used to be so tan!” The simple fact of it all is memories! We live for awhile but we don’t always remember things until we have a trigger of a video or a picture. I honestly LOVE going back and looking at the memories I made with others. Or the changes I can see from then and now. It’s such a blessing to have deceives like video camera or a camera to capture those.

Growing up- We are constantly growing up and changing. We all grow up at different times and from different situations. I know I had to grow up a little faster than the rest of my siblings but that’s because my parents weren’t around as much so I had to learn to make choices on my own. They were there when I needed them but I was on my own a lot. There is nothing wrong with growing up; it’s actually nice to some advantage. I do have a hard time with my siblings sometimes thinking I am super young when in reality I am not that much younger because of situations I ended up falling into and had to get myself out of.  But being the younger one they will always think of me as such. I love how adults think they are all done growing up. Let me tell you a secret… your not! There are some adults that are even more immature then a 16 year old. We are always learning new things and growing from hard situations. Don’t ever think you’re done; there is something new always to be learned.

Confused/lost (drunk) - Now I am not saying I got drunk. I am just saying how there are moments when I or maybe someone else I know is lost. Not really lost from the path but where we are just confused. We don’t understand what’s going on and we feel we should. Maybe it’s because there is a missing piece to the puzzle. Either we didn’t listen the whole time or that it wasn’t ever said. I don’t like feeling confused. I relate it to being drunk because there are moments we wake up and do not remember the day before. How confused and lost must people feel when they are drunk? It must be nice to not remember what happened but also terrifying, having confusion I think is the worst though! I don’t like being lost in what’s going on.

Forgetful- Oh man forgetfulness sucks! If it’s a bad memory I understand why anyone would want to forget it but what if its not. At work for example I have things I need to remember and learn but I seemed to ALWAYS forget and maybe it’s because it only happens every now and again. It’s really embarrassing though. I have a really good friend that is very forgetful and I can see how frustrating it is. It kind of connects with being lost and confused. I remember I learned something but I always forget how to do it or why I need to. I always have to put calendar events on my phone or else I will forget something. Once again it’s just really embarrassing but you just hope people understand and give you time.

I think this is all I have for now. Anything to add or if you want my thoughts on a situation let me know….. =]

I love just thinking about these things sometimes. It keeps your brain moving and going.

Presidents day weekend

Let's see first off right now I am starting to have lows but I know why. I've been slacking on working out and reading my scriptures. Get with it Holly!!
I will make myself if I have to dang it! I have a goal that I need to look amazing for!
Besides that fact I had a FABULOUS 4 day weekend! Yes it was cramped in the car BUT it was worth it. I got to meet his sister Jessica and her husband Mike.
The Peacock family is wonderful and hilarous let me just say! =] I am marrying into a great family, as is Spencer ;)
I feel like I fit right in except for my singing as his mom pointed out. They say I'm a better singer then them but its okay because I cancel out their bad singing. haha
We left to Rexburg at about 430 A.M. Saturday morning and got there around 830 A.M. We got to see Dianne =] She was glad to see us all! We all went to tour BYU-Idaho, a few things have changed since I have been there. The consturction is done for once and that building is AMAZING looking! It about killed me walking up the stairs though. MAN I really need to kick my butt into shape!!!
We next got to visit some of Spencer's missionary companions at Sammy's restaurant. Then walked to my old roommates, Ashlees, house. It was good to see her, I had forgotten about all the bad things we had gone through with each other. I now feel terrible, I was rude! I know I still have my moments. Either way it was nice to see her!
I stepped in a few stupid puddles on the way. cuz it snowed the WHOLE time we were there about 6 inches BRR I did NOT plan well. Then we went to a wedding reception of people I did not know but it was cute and gave me some ideas. Then went back to the place we were staying to watch a movie. We were all EXHAUSTED so by lilke 1030 we all were asleep. I slept pretty dang good and woke up about 730 A.M. and got ready for sacrament meeting at Dianne's ward. It was really nice, weirdly enough ran into Jenna who is in Spencer and my's single ward haha
Then off to Yellowstone we went!!! Yay we had our red vines and our chocolates and chips. Off we adventured into the snowy drive. It took about 1 1/2 hour. We stopped at the Montana sign to take a picture, we had to climb through snow to get to it. On the way back I fell into a hole. It covered pretty much my whole leg. It was HILARIOUS though! Then we found some Geocaches or we tried to. Mike fell too bad we missed that one. After that we walked around some shops and got some Hot cider and saw some funny t-shirts. We saw a snow mond we wanted to kick down and Spencer and I were kicking at it. Then Dianne came over and she goes no you have to kick like this. Then BAM she fell on her butt! THEE most hilarious thing i've ever seen, I wish we could of gotten it on video. I sat there and laughed so hard before I could ask if she was okay. haha
Then we got back into the car and off to Rexburg once again. We had some dinner at Taco Bell then had to say our sad goodbyes. =[ I am glad we were able to come see Dianne but sad that we had to leave. We were all having so much fun! Then we have our hand hugs ;] and off we went. We stopped at a missionary couple Spencer knew for a few. They seemed really nice. Then we stopped at my brothers house =] Little Cache was runnning back and forth giggling then clapping. He was a goof ball because it was bed time. Mallorie and Jon were really nice and I missed them. After I left Mallorie texted me and said I forgot to see your ring but I like Spencer a lot you got a good pick.
Then we got back about midnight to Salt Lake City. Ugh no more squish!!
I was glad to sleep in on Monday. I love Spencer and his family so much. I will never forget that mini roadtrip! It made my week.
Besides being tired and out of shape I had SO much fun, and wish we could go back to it all!!
I am now needing to work out and get back into my routine!! About 5 months until the wedding =]

Reasons

I have so much to say like I said before but I forgot my paper so this is just going to be a lot of rambling!!

I know I am constantly telling you how much I love my life! It’s the truth though so why not express it and tell it to the whole world!!! =]

I can honestly say sense Christmas I have been none stop happy! This is for several reasons of course. Now my life isn’t perfect, I still get frustrated with things and angry and get down but not for very long. I don’t let myself wallow in it.

Reasons why I am happy:

1. I am a member of this AMAZING gospel, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint!
2. Then daily prayer that keeps me holding on, asking questions, and getting answers to situations.
3. I have wonderful Fiancé that is always there for me whenever and is very loving.
4. My mother, she is simply awesome. She boosts up my energy, excitement, and happiness more every time I talk to her!
5. I have friends that mean the world to me and are constantly there for me which I’d name some but I don’t want to accidently leave anyone out
6.  And myself, it sounds weird but I was thinking about everything that happened today and how there was a choice I made and it was a good one. And I made that choice. And I followed through with it. And I made someone smile! I can make a difference and that is awesome but yes sometimes a lot of pressure.
7. I love my siblings, they mean well and I love them for that.
8. Kinesiology...it's about getting your body in harmony. It’s made a HUGE difference.

Lying there slipping in and out of consciousness; I am numb to the world.

My brain is shutting down and I am entering dreamland

The place where anything can happen

As a dream starts up

I am in aw by all the colors.

Then it turns dark, black

No more warmth or happiness

But this dreamland is the place everyone talks about

It’s the place everyone wants to go to

This land can change in an instant

Without warning

The only happiness it contains

Is the option to awake and realize

It was all a dream

You can leave that land

All the fears that may come

But the real world is inescapable

Make your choices wisely.

That was a far fetch but I wanted to try to write a poem. This is NOT what I was going with but on little time to prepare and loss for words this is what I came up with.

Yesterday in Pearl of Great Price class someone talked about how close someone was to the gospel. And if you believe it but don’t accept the gospel, that it’s the worse thing known to man. Then I thought of an opposite situation. I ended up writing a story about, its pretty darn good if I do say so myself.

Basically I had this boyfriend in 2008 I want to say. His name was Taft. We didn’t date long but we knew the struggles we both had in life. One I knew was he knew he should serve a mission but he wanted to do it by choice not because he HAD to. We broke up and didn’t talk much with each other. About a year later I get a texted from a mutual friend saying Taft died in a car accident.

We weren’t super close but I remember running into him at Macey’s and we had a bad ending but when we made eye contact I knew all was over. The past in the past but we didn’t talk.

I went to the funeral and was shocked at all I learned. He had changed and went to the Bishop. He rotated his life around and filled out his mission papers. He was waiting for a response and had talked to the Bishop about how it was taking so long.

Now you see why, his mission was to change to be a better person and want to go on a mission. He didn’t have to actually go on that mission. It was just crazy to me.

And his cousin, Dallin, had a dream about Taft getting into a car accident. (They were best friends) but it prepared him for what was going to happen in reality.

I didn’t mean this to connect back into my so called dream poem but it does. We don’t know exactly what all dreams mean. It could be helping you for a soon to happen event, just me crazy thoughts through out the day, it could be warnings, or answers to your prayers. I look at it the way I think it is. They always fascinate me.

Back to the Taft situation. I always wonder what happened in that car; their thoughts, where they were going. It’s one of the first people I want to talk to and ask questions. It’s totally random but I am just very curious. This death was really hard for me at first. I struggled but in the long end prayer got me through it all. Next to a lot of other things. I know the Lord is always watching over me.

I know I am making the right choices by how my life is. I’ve never been so happy. All the things I need are falling into place by weird connections my friends have. It just amazes me and I am so very grateful! I can’t express it enough =]

I believe I will stop here for now. Once again this is NOT what I was wanting to write about but it should do for this entry haha

Enjoy