Focus on the Now

Yesterday was a pretty interesting day…. I was being really weird and not my normal self. I was ready to burst in to tears for no reason a few times. Being a girl is sometimes really frustrating because you just never know how your going to react to something (neither does anyone else). I guess it’s kind of interesting being a girl too because you never know what your going to be like that day. Lol

I sometimes feel sorry for the men in our life that have to deal with our craziness.

Towards the end of the night I wasn’t feeling too well. My stomach just really kind of hurt. Before bed asked Spencer for a sickness blessing. I am really grateful he holds the priesthood because whenever I may not feel well or need comfort I can always ask him for a blessing.

Anyways a few things I can remember from the blessing (more a reminder for myself but in case you were curious too)

-         Exercise and eat healthier

-         Try to see more of the positive

-         Learn how to help each child in nursery

-         I know when you need certain things (something along that line)
-         To clear your mind (i think there was more along this line but I can't remember but its a good thing because my mind is CONSTANTLY thinking and I need to somehow clear it)

That’s all I can remember, if more comes to me I will let you know.

Basically to shorten up my night…. It was rough. I think its good to have a rough night occasionally though because then you have a pretty great time after that. But it took me awhile to fall asleep and then I woke up at 3 and couldn’t get back to sleep until maybe 4 or 4:30. Spencer missed his first class to stay home with me for a little longer. I’m just so used to being alone when I am sick, I just did it by myself and that’s kind of how I liked it. But it’s not fair Spencer if I don’t let him help me. But basically when I’m sick I just lay there and focus on my breathing and take naps. It was very sweet of him to stay and I’m thankful for that.

I feel a little better but it took a little moving around and putting my mind on other things. But it still hurts a little. I watched some Rachel Ray and my show the lying game and then hurried to get ready. I listened to my new favorite song Terrified by Katharine McPhee =] It’s a little chilly outside but not too bad.

About 13 more days until the Kelly Clarkson concert!!! Woot Woot

Let’s get serious here for a moment. Two things I need to work on besides the normal things.

1. I beat myself up a lot over things. If I’m ever crying it’s usually because I’m upset with myself for not being kinder or because I’m being lazy or because the dinner didn’t turn out or because I snapped at my husband. Or because I make a big deal out of something so little or I’m feeling sorry for myself. Just a few examples
2. I look forward to the future. I always have been that way. I was excited for school, to move, to have a boyfriend, to graduate, to go to college, to have a real job, to get married….. Now its:

-         Find a new job I love more

-         Have a baby sometime in the future

-         Have a home that I can decorate and make OUR home

-         Purchase a new car

-         Maybe someday move to a new state

-         Future amazing vacations

            Basically I have to work on focusing more on the now. I’ve been told that many times too. And I love the NOW in my life. I love my husband and that it’s just us two. I love our little starter home. I love our old car; we’ve been through a lot together. But a lot of times my mind goes to the future and I always say wow that’s going to be exciting when we get that or have this. So I have to keep reminding myself of the now and how very important it is to me. The “now” needs me more than the “future” needs it.

Other than that I’m just working on basics, trying to eat better and at least walk to and from places when I can.

Wish me luck at work. It’s not too bad of a day. I’m going to finally focus on my book some more and then type on the normal pages I need to get done.

On a side note did I mention that my jaw is stiff now added to the normal popping I’ve had? I hope it fixes itself out because I don’t want to have to go to a dentist or doctor to have to fix that…. =[

Going to go on another little walk on my break, not much but its something