Flawless

These past two days a flaw I have was brought to my attention. I am sure I was told before hand what it was but didn’t really think about it. My mom brought up awhile back how I used to say something along the lines “I don’t mean this to be rude but……” Weather I say that or not it’s going to be taken that way. When I say that it doesn’t make it not rude. It means nothing to that purpose.

I’ve been learning a lot about myself especially through these past two years being away at college. I know what bugs me and I know what bugs other people. It’s a hard process to accept our “flaws” but a friend, Bonnie, once told me this statement:

Think about a photograph. Some of the best, prettiest, most fantastic photos are flawed in some way. Not focused enough. Too much light. Too little light. Wrong angle. Yet the photo comes out beautiful and perfect. But the point is, don't focus on your flaws because that's what makes you YOU and that's what people love.

She’s right, we can’t focus on our flaws we work on what we are already good at and then make what we aren’t good at better. I will be honest, I had a freak out when I found out that I wasn’t being as nice to people as I had thought. I never meant the things I said to hurt people, it was never my intention. So if I have said anything that was rude, I am telling you here that I am sorry and I didn’t mean it to hurt you.

*My goal is to accept that I have flows.

*Think harder before I speak and ask myself three questions:

1. Is it nice?

2. Does it need to be said?

3. Is it true?

*Don’t beat myself up when I’ve hurt someone.

When I knew that I had hurt people’s feelings I honestly will say I cried about it all night because I never wanted to hurt people. I always wanted people to love me, be happy around me, and not be hurt or offended. May I also add one thing try not to let what others say get you down, half the time they may not mean it. Don’t let it affect who you are. I am going to work better on trying to say things in a nicer way.

I drove around last night from 9pm-1am, its nice having a car because it helps me to escape and breathe for a moment. I was numb and I needed to just think for a moment with no pressure from other people. It was nice not having a phone for awhile either. It is a mystery as to where my cell phone charger went.

“Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be.”

This quote speaks the truth. We are constantly caught up in the world and all that’s going on around us. If we don’t take a break and step out in the fresh air for a moment we may forget who we are and where we are going. Don’t let the world catch you off guard. Stand tall and remember who you are, a child of God. I personally want to be in His presence again, and my journey will take me there. With Spencer’s help of course, we both have that same goal in mind, being with our Heavenly Father again.

Blah! I don’t like how I felt, and I know Satan was working on the flaw I had and life has been crazy with moving out, and others moving in. It was/is hectic and I’m trying to help make it go smoothly…. And I’m BREATHING. A lot of changes are happening and I just have to take it one step at a time. Thankfully school is over with, pretty positive I passed all my classes! =] Thanks for those who are around and help me out and listen.

Just remember its okay to have flaws, they make you who you are!