Have you ever realized that every once in awhile you start feeling like you hear or see the same phrase or word constantly....it probably means you should listen to it. =]
Yesterday I had a MUCH needed conversation with a friend that helped me realize a few things about myself and regroup. I can easily worry and stress over sometimes the littlest things and I think recently it got to the point where it made me feel sick. I try so hard to please everyone and not to hurt feelings or make people angry with me, but I know I can't always make the situation fit happily for everyone. What a bummer.
A couple posts ago I talked about starting to run daily and get into being more physically fit. I would like to report i'm doing great! I have joined a 20 day trail at a gym to try and incorporate more then just running in to my routine. I've never been a gym person so I feel a bit lost when I go but so far some of the group classes I took were fun!
You know that feeling when you (probably more women feel this then men) put on jeans after being in the dryer they fit snugger usually....well yesterday my jeans slid right on with no problem! One of the best feelings in the world =] And makes me feel like all the work I've been doing these 5 weeks are starting to show, even if other people can't really tell yet. It gives me that other boost to keep going.
This now gets into the balance part of what I wanted to talk about. Since I've started to go to a gym and work out in general I've been having trouble finding the balance and when I should go. I'll try and list a few things and reasons. I know some might seem silly and I will explain why talking to my friend made me see more to the issue.
Most of the stress is on finding the right time because I felt I was losing time with my family.
I used to work out in the mornings and found that I think that's the reason I would die out fast. I love being a lazy morning person especially since I've had kids. Since Jackson wakes up sometimes at 5:30 in the morning I just don't want to get up at 4:30am just to make sure I get my work out done before Jackson gets up. And I don't like being that stay at home mom who is in her pjs all day or work out clothes all day until I can finally get that workout in by the afternoon. (There is nothing wrong with that for the people that do that, its just not for me) I feel by the time I would get to the work out I would not care to do it anymore. I love getting showered and ready for the day even though I don't put make up on half the time or do my hair nice...remember i'm a mom so that hair ends up not pretty an hour later or that make up is smudged because they are stressing me out that day so i'm trying to keep it all together.
^ Above that I tried doing mornings at the gym and they have a wonderful daycare, Isaac did great but Jackson was struggling and it was just too hard for me to justify leaving them with semi strangers for an hour every day. I felt it was better they be left with dad and have bonding time with him. And in general it was just harder to get everyone together and set off to the gym knowing it was possible I wasn't going to get a good workout in because Jackson kept crying. Most moms know the struggling of leaving their kids at a daycare. I am thankful that's something I haven't had to do and so because I have that choice, I choose not to leaving them with a daycare for my workout needs.
Spencer has been working out too now and so trying to make time for both of us to work out without neglecting the kids was hard for me. I have found that the evenings work best for me physically because i'm usually ready for a break from the kids and that energy gets put towards my work out which usually makes me do better and gives me some "me" time which I've found has been very helpful. But because of some of the class times at the gym its us eating dinner later then usually which ends up sometimes me missing dinner with them. And we want to keep eating dinner together as a family.
Spencer and I and the kids all have maybe 3 hours together every night and if I go to the gym that then leaves only 2 (this is meaning until the time at least 1 of them goes to bed) And if Spencer goes to the gym before Jackson goes to bed then that only leaves 1 hour. I felt like leaving them ruins that short time we all have of all being together.
I don't think the kids mind me leaving especially because they get that daddy time and when I return they are always so glad to see me which gives me another little boost for the night. =]
So in a nutshell it's been great but still trying to figure out the semi perfect time for me to go, maybe we eat dinner first and I go later to work out. I'm usually STARVING by the time I start a workout even if I eat 40 minutes before I go workout. I may have to start bringing some healthy snacks or something. This brings me to another point. Eating healthy......I have noticed that because I work out more I don't eat as much junk, but because being a picky eater I stress so much about what food choices I can make that are healthy without them gagging me. I stress about food so much because now that i'm working out I need to be eating more since i'm burning off so many calories but I hate food. I mean I love food but because of being picky it means I have to eat more of what I already eat the same of all the time. And I just run out of ideas and so I've been trying not to over focus on this but when your hungry a lot it's not easy to avoid =]
When I was talking to my friend she brought up how her husband always says those are all little branches of issues, what's the root problem? It's hard to really explain but in a nutshell I think maybe my root problem is that my goal is to feel good about myself and not wanting someone to be upset with me because of whatever choice I make. In the long run I just want to be proud of myself and I feel that working out is working on a problem I've struggled with more then I realize. By being more fit and in shape I think it will solve a lot of issues in life I've had. I really working on myself to be better for everyone and for me. For once i'm trying to take care of myself and by doing that I worry I might miss time I could have with my family but it might help me live longer in the end. (My friend was right, I should of written some of this down because I think I've forgotten some things we talked about, oops)
Basically I need to be at least a little less lazy in the mornings and afternoons and focus better on cleaning the house, laundry, dishes, all of that fun stuff so that it's one less thing to worry about in the evenings. Now with boys that make a mess with toys, it wont be easy to keep up on but I will do better, I need to do better.
I've been really into fitness quotes because some give me the strength to keep going. So here are a few:
"Don't stop until your proud"
"You can feel sore tomorrow or you can feel sorry tomorrow, you choose."
"I'm working on a new me, not because the old me is bad but because the old m can improve."
"The only way you will see results is if you stay consistent"
"Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't
"Some day its not about health or building muscle. It's just therapy" (this has become so true for me)
"I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don't" (my #1 fav)
And lets end with some balance quotes
"Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender." -Danielle orner
"Balance- comes in the moments you stand up for the life you truly want by making choices that align with that life."
I worry about what people think of me, I know that's so high school but it's something I've always been really good at/ struggled with..... this leads to my next post coming soon
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Be a better you
Last night I was lying in bed and starting thinking about a few things. Since I started this healthy eating/ fitness challenge group I started thinking about things a little differently. I start these groups and usually only stick with them for so long and then give up or other things take over. Life is always unpredictable.
I usually start them and do well because I have maybe low self esteem in maybe the physical area of life. I get to a point where I need some sort of change because i'm not liking the way I look or feel.
While I was lying in bed I had the thought of it's not that I think i'm fat, even though I've had those thoughts. (i'm sure most girls do even if they don't look fat to you, we just think those things about ourselves.) I think deep down we actually are upset that we aren't doing the best we can or being the best we can in whatever area it is we are struggling with.
I think working out deep down isn't always just because we are "fat" but because we know our body deserves better and can physically become better in strength. There is no "perfect" body image so what are we even aiming for if we go by weight.
We get so down about ourselves knowing we can be better at everything we do and are upset that we are letting ourselves down.
We let doubt and life take over the most important things, we become lazy.
That's not fair to our bodies, our bodies and minds deserve so much better.
Not everyone is bad at these areas but I personally am.
Also i'm not saying we can't indulge in sweets, because everything needs a little sweetness but we've all heard "find the happy medium" not too much of this or too little of that.
I could be so much smarter then I am, my poor brain is suffering because of my lacking of becoming more educated in anything.
I could be so much healthier, but my laziness has made my body be less then what it could be.
"I'm a work in progress" -Sandi So true!
Just some thoughts and examples, hopefully it made sense. Just a few areas I know I lack in.
A few quotes I found that went along with this
"Healthy is an outfit that looks different on everybody"
"Be fearless and love yourself for who you are"
I usually start them and do well because I have maybe low self esteem in maybe the physical area of life. I get to a point where I need some sort of change because i'm not liking the way I look or feel.
While I was lying in bed I had the thought of it's not that I think i'm fat, even though I've had those thoughts. (i'm sure most girls do even if they don't look fat to you, we just think those things about ourselves.) I think deep down we actually are upset that we aren't doing the best we can or being the best we can in whatever area it is we are struggling with.
I think working out deep down isn't always just because we are "fat" but because we know our body deserves better and can physically become better in strength. There is no "perfect" body image so what are we even aiming for if we go by weight.
We get so down about ourselves knowing we can be better at everything we do and are upset that we are letting ourselves down.
We let doubt and life take over the most important things, we become lazy.
That's not fair to our bodies, our bodies and minds deserve so much better.
Not everyone is bad at these areas but I personally am.
Also i'm not saying we can't indulge in sweets, because everything needs a little sweetness but we've all heard "find the happy medium" not too much of this or too little of that.
I could be so much smarter then I am, my poor brain is suffering because of my lacking of becoming more educated in anything.
I could be so much healthier, but my laziness has made my body be less then what it could be.
"I'm a work in progress" -Sandi So true!
Just some thoughts and examples, hopefully it made sense. Just a few areas I know I lack in.
A few quotes I found that went along with this
"Healthy is an outfit that looks different on everybody"
"Be fearless and love yourself for who you are"
Monday, November 9, 2015
Fairy Tale
"Today was a fairytale" taken from Taylor Swifts song. This got me thinking, I mean so far today has seemed in some ways like a fairytale.
I used to kind of hate Fairy tales for the way they make you think life should be magical or soon will be when you grow up. Because life is anything but a fairytale especially when you grow up. But there are some days when life is happiness, and magical and bliss.
Fairytales...
They can take you away from the world when you just need an escape and dream of magical things because life isn't easy and sometimes you have really hard days.
But I also believe that there are days that can be magical if you take on life the right way. And you should always strive for those magical type days and accept that there will always be those days in the mixture of this crazy world.
Just a little random thought that came to my mind this morning as Taylor Swift was playing in the background =]
Today I decided to get up and ready around 5:30am because Jackson usually wakes me up anyways so why not get up and at least shower before he wakes up.
Well when I do this, he decides to sleep until 6:30 or later, so I end up getting ready and say prayers and read scriptures and other things before he gets up which is fantastic and is partly why maybe my day went pretty well.
I hate waking up early but when I'm ready and have something's done before the boys wake up it makes it worth it!
Then when Isaac got up at 8, we got ready and headed to the grocery store! Afterwards we stopped to get the car looked out and fixed.
I'm very grateful to have found this jiffy lube that's close by and they have taken really good care of us which is a weight off my shoulders.
They vacuumed out the car seats and cleaned the windows and even gave us a little discount which they didn't have to do but is MUCH appreciated. I got home and realized that they didn't charge us for something I know they did so I called and double checked so I will be going back to pay for that. And he seemed surprised that I would call about that and then come and pay it.
That's the right thing to do and I'm that kind of person if I notice it.
Then randomly, not many people smash their boxes and things to put into the recycle bin, which is gross and frustrating even when the complex has asked us to do that. It's just respectful. I went out to take the boxes to the bin and had my scissors and was smashing them down and a random person said thank you, she said I hate when people don't smash them down. I said, me too! She didn't have to even say that but it made my day feeling that someone saw me do something good and pointed it out.
There is a friend from High School that is doing this thing called The Gaston Approach about accomplishing things in life and setting goals. So that's been helpful as I've been trying to do better in all my areas I struggle in.
On a Happy Side note, my bestie Channelle might be coming out for thanksgiving!!! I'm really excited and hope she is able to make it. She's pretty much awesome, and I love her to pieces.
On a sad side note, I'm struggling to fit in in this Ward. It's not a bad ward and I have met wonderful people, but something just feels off so I've been thinking about what needs to change on my end of this. And maybe put past ward things in the past because they do things different here. But maybe its also because I know we aren't meant to stay in this ward forever and so for now I'm just going there until we buy a house somewhere else. In possibly a year, but love the people I've met but I am in the age range that most of these people aren't in so there is not a lot of people in my chapter of life.
But I do love the people I've met don't get me wrong, its a nice ward just isn't my life time ward.
We are taking Christmas pictures in a few days or a week, i'm excited just hope this lame Oregon weather will let us get some good ones outside. I'm not very fond of the rainy season here....but managing.
I've been running and loving it, surprisingly running in the evening has been going pretty well instead of dragging myself up in the morning. I've enjoyed the 30-40 minutes of me time and exercise time, its tough but I've been doing well and pushing myself and feeling fantastic.
Alright this never flows as nicely as I hope and is always random things thrown together, as much as I would love to write a book someday, I'm kind of all over the place.
I used to kind of hate Fairy tales for the way they make you think life should be magical or soon will be when you grow up. Because life is anything but a fairytale especially when you grow up. But there are some days when life is happiness, and magical and bliss.
Fairytales...
They can take you away from the world when you just need an escape and dream of magical things because life isn't easy and sometimes you have really hard days.
But I also believe that there are days that can be magical if you take on life the right way. And you should always strive for those magical type days and accept that there will always be those days in the mixture of this crazy world.
Just a little random thought that came to my mind this morning as Taylor Swift was playing in the background =]
Today I decided to get up and ready around 5:30am because Jackson usually wakes me up anyways so why not get up and at least shower before he wakes up.
Well when I do this, he decides to sleep until 6:30 or later, so I end up getting ready and say prayers and read scriptures and other things before he gets up which is fantastic and is partly why maybe my day went pretty well.
I hate waking up early but when I'm ready and have something's done before the boys wake up it makes it worth it!
Then when Isaac got up at 8, we got ready and headed to the grocery store! Afterwards we stopped to get the car looked out and fixed.
I'm very grateful to have found this jiffy lube that's close by and they have taken really good care of us which is a weight off my shoulders.
They vacuumed out the car seats and cleaned the windows and even gave us a little discount which they didn't have to do but is MUCH appreciated. I got home and realized that they didn't charge us for something I know they did so I called and double checked so I will be going back to pay for that. And he seemed surprised that I would call about that and then come and pay it.
That's the right thing to do and I'm that kind of person if I notice it.
Then randomly, not many people smash their boxes and things to put into the recycle bin, which is gross and frustrating even when the complex has asked us to do that. It's just respectful. I went out to take the boxes to the bin and had my scissors and was smashing them down and a random person said thank you, she said I hate when people don't smash them down. I said, me too! She didn't have to even say that but it made my day feeling that someone saw me do something good and pointed it out.
There is a friend from High School that is doing this thing called The Gaston Approach about accomplishing things in life and setting goals. So that's been helpful as I've been trying to do better in all my areas I struggle in.
On a Happy Side note, my bestie Channelle might be coming out for thanksgiving!!! I'm really excited and hope she is able to make it. She's pretty much awesome, and I love her to pieces.
On a sad side note, I'm struggling to fit in in this Ward. It's not a bad ward and I have met wonderful people, but something just feels off so I've been thinking about what needs to change on my end of this. And maybe put past ward things in the past because they do things different here. But maybe its also because I know we aren't meant to stay in this ward forever and so for now I'm just going there until we buy a house somewhere else. In possibly a year, but love the people I've met but I am in the age range that most of these people aren't in so there is not a lot of people in my chapter of life.
But I do love the people I've met don't get me wrong, its a nice ward just isn't my life time ward.
We are taking Christmas pictures in a few days or a week, i'm excited just hope this lame Oregon weather will let us get some good ones outside. I'm not very fond of the rainy season here....but managing.
I've been running and loving it, surprisingly running in the evening has been going pretty well instead of dragging myself up in the morning. I've enjoyed the 30-40 minutes of me time and exercise time, its tough but I've been doing well and pushing myself and feeling fantastic.
Alright this never flows as nicely as I hope and is always random things thrown together, as much as I would love to write a book someday, I'm kind of all over the place.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
He suffered for us All
There have been a few trials that have come up, might not seem huge to some people but either way they were are hard for me.
Between our check engine light coming on and having to pay a good amount of money to get it fixed and sicknesses between the boys and I.
The car one is hard especially if you move to a new place because now you have to figure out what place won't rip you off and will be kind and helpful. And being used to asking your dad to look at it to now not being able to.
One of my biggest fears is a car I'm driving breaking down and leaving me stranded somewhere with kids in the car with me. Doesn't matter even if it's not far from a store I would still probably break down in tears.
Anyways yesterday the check engine light came on again....the car hasn't started acting funny yet but will go get it checked again. Thankfully that part is free.
And the boys getting coughs and running noses and just not feeling well has been rough and then my ear decided to get a terrible ear infection out of know where. Usually I have a warning but this time i didn't. And if you've ever had a swimmers ear infection it's one of the most painful ear infections.
So taking care of sick boys and trying to heal myself was rough.
I was given a few blessings and prayed a lot. And it's been a week and they should be a lot better but they aren't 100% yet, so here are a few things I've learned.
1. The Lord will give us strengthen and patience when we need them. I'm not great with patience (a lot of people aren't) especially with my boys so being in pain doesn't help my patience with them. But I did have enough patience to make it through the day.
2. I was looking in the mirror and to any person I pass I probably look totally normal to them but I couldn't hear like an average person can hear. Which makes it hard to leave the house because I have to work harder to understand people if they decide to talk to me and listen for my kids at the same time. Which shows you that you truly never know what someone is struggling with because it's not always an outward thing.
3. Then of course husband's are pretty great, he couldn't take away my pain but giving me blessings helped a lot and just being there to help with the boys and being understanding
4. And I'm very grateful for my ears, having partial hearing lately really throws your whole body off and it can be frustrating not to hear well.
I'm going back to the doctor today because my ears should be back to normal but they aren't (but they are a lot better) so we will see what's up
And I will be checking the car so we will see what's up there.
Thankfully the boys have been sleeping fairly well these past few days. :) but there are changing we will be making in the next month that will bring a few sleepless nights probably.
We are slowing down formula and bottle feeding with Jackson to once a day and have introduced regular milk. Once that's going pretty well we will be taking the pacifier away, which he mainly only has for naps and bedtime but sometimes other times since we've had sicknesses. After that when he is sleeping fine without it....we will put him in Isaacs room..... so we will see how that goes. I'm excited and also not since the nights will be rough.
We are also being more strict on snacks and treats because as my husband reminded us treats are treats because it's a treat when you get one, not a daily thing. Lately I haven't been wanting candy or things like that much anyways which makes it easier to give it to the boys less anyways besides the still constant asking for it. He is getting better though and eats then meals better. :)
Yesterday was a really weird day, Isaac slept through the night but woke up in a whiny, sensitive, mean mood. He hurt Jackson a lot and cried over everything and wouldn't eat anything. I'm assuming he was just sick but put him down for a nap early and he didn't even cry about it and slept for two hours. But that evening was rough too. I feel bad because I wish I knew what he was feeling. Maybe just having a moment :(
Hopefully soon their cold symptoms will be gone, there is a cold going around that's been lasting weeks so someday we will all be 100% again. And we are hoping with us feeding them better they will get sick less.
Love my family and I'm so excited for the things we are teaching them and Isaac is showing a difference with the gospel even more in our home <3
Can't wait for all the fun celebrations coming up!
Halloween
Jackson turns 1
Thanksgiving
Christmas
Woot woot
Let me leave with part of a talk from Elder Oaks gave at this last conference:
In the Savior’s Atonement, He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind.” As President Boyd K. Packer explained: “He had no debt to pay. He had committed no wrong. Nevertheless, an accumulation of all of the guilt, the grief and sorrow, the pain and humiliation, all of the mental, emotional, and physical torments known to man—He experienced them all.”1
Between our check engine light coming on and having to pay a good amount of money to get it fixed and sicknesses between the boys and I.
The car one is hard especially if you move to a new place because now you have to figure out what place won't rip you off and will be kind and helpful. And being used to asking your dad to look at it to now not being able to.
One of my biggest fears is a car I'm driving breaking down and leaving me stranded somewhere with kids in the car with me. Doesn't matter even if it's not far from a store I would still probably break down in tears.
Anyways yesterday the check engine light came on again....the car hasn't started acting funny yet but will go get it checked again. Thankfully that part is free.
And the boys getting coughs and running noses and just not feeling well has been rough and then my ear decided to get a terrible ear infection out of know where. Usually I have a warning but this time i didn't. And if you've ever had a swimmers ear infection it's one of the most painful ear infections.
So taking care of sick boys and trying to heal myself was rough.
I was given a few blessings and prayed a lot. And it's been a week and they should be a lot better but they aren't 100% yet, so here are a few things I've learned.
1. The Lord will give us strengthen and patience when we need them. I'm not great with patience (a lot of people aren't) especially with my boys so being in pain doesn't help my patience with them. But I did have enough patience to make it through the day.
2. I was looking in the mirror and to any person I pass I probably look totally normal to them but I couldn't hear like an average person can hear. Which makes it hard to leave the house because I have to work harder to understand people if they decide to talk to me and listen for my kids at the same time. Which shows you that you truly never know what someone is struggling with because it's not always an outward thing.
3. Then of course husband's are pretty great, he couldn't take away my pain but giving me blessings helped a lot and just being there to help with the boys and being understanding
4. And I'm very grateful for my ears, having partial hearing lately really throws your whole body off and it can be frustrating not to hear well.
I'm going back to the doctor today because my ears should be back to normal but they aren't (but they are a lot better) so we will see what's up
And I will be checking the car so we will see what's up there.
Thankfully the boys have been sleeping fairly well these past few days. :) but there are changing we will be making in the next month that will bring a few sleepless nights probably.
We are slowing down formula and bottle feeding with Jackson to once a day and have introduced regular milk. Once that's going pretty well we will be taking the pacifier away, which he mainly only has for naps and bedtime but sometimes other times since we've had sicknesses. After that when he is sleeping fine without it....we will put him in Isaacs room..... so we will see how that goes. I'm excited and also not since the nights will be rough.
We are also being more strict on snacks and treats because as my husband reminded us treats are treats because it's a treat when you get one, not a daily thing. Lately I haven't been wanting candy or things like that much anyways which makes it easier to give it to the boys less anyways besides the still constant asking for it. He is getting better though and eats then meals better. :)
Yesterday was a really weird day, Isaac slept through the night but woke up in a whiny, sensitive, mean mood. He hurt Jackson a lot and cried over everything and wouldn't eat anything. I'm assuming he was just sick but put him down for a nap early and he didn't even cry about it and slept for two hours. But that evening was rough too. I feel bad because I wish I knew what he was feeling. Maybe just having a moment :(
Hopefully soon their cold symptoms will be gone, there is a cold going around that's been lasting weeks so someday we will all be 100% again. And we are hoping with us feeding them better they will get sick less.
Love my family and I'm so excited for the things we are teaching them and Isaac is showing a difference with the gospel even more in our home <3
Can't wait for all the fun celebrations coming up!
Halloween
Jackson turns 1
Thanksgiving
Christmas
Woot woot
Let me leave with part of a talk from Elder Oaks gave at this last conference:
In the Savior’s Atonement, He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind.” As President Boyd K. Packer explained: “He had no debt to pay. He had committed no wrong. Nevertheless, an accumulation of all of the guilt, the grief and sorrow, the pain and humiliation, all of the mental, emotional, and physical torments known to man—He experienced them all.”1
Why did He suffer these mortal challenges “of every kind”? Alma explained, “And he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12).
Christ knows how you feel during all those terrible pains or sicknesses you go through, and he did it so he would know how we felt and how to help us overcome. <3 I LOVE THAT!
Friday, September 25, 2015
one month in Oregon
It's crazy it's already been a month. I don't feel like this is my home necessarily but I'm fairly comfortable here.
We have gone to lots of different parks to see what ones we like, there are better parks here then Utah I think.
We've found our favorite Wal-Mart and favorite winco. And love the big library!
We haven't made tons of friends yet but that okay. We did have a babysitter and so we had a date night which was much needed and the boys did fairly well.
I'm adjusting fairly well, Isaac is struggling the most, which makes since its hard to understand and even if I had prepared him better he would of still had a hard time. He still asks to go home or go to grandma's house and doesn't understand that stuff is far away. But he will get used to it eventually.
Isaac is learning lots and lots every day, I love it! He said his first prayer with help last night, he is growing up and I love it. He says hi to "friends" at the park lol it's cute. He struggles in nursery still but oh well we will get there.
Jackson is talkative without saying actual words and gestures and points to things. He walks tons and is silly and learning new things all the time. In a little over a month he will be 1, so exciting! Also he squeals a lot and rawrs. And night feedings are gone and just now he is starting to sleep through the night....yay, now my body needs to let me sleep through the night.
We got asked to talk on the 11th so I've been having dreams and nightmares about that while I prepare what to say lol mostly nightmares about how my boys are going to behave.
We have our first ward get together for chili and pie this Saturday so that should be fun seeing people outside of church.
I made a list and we are doing better at scripture study together with the kids, just doing the kid version for now. My personal prayers and church reading, and nightly prayers and fhe on Mondays. Need to work on morning prayers and keeping this a good routine.
We love video chatting with family sometimes it helps Isaac and sometimes it makes it worse, just never know lol
Without getting to go to Sunday school or relief society and sometimes missing most of sacrament it's been hard church wise but I try to read the lessons.
Electronic wise...still a work in progress. I'm better but trying to get Isaac to stop asking to play games on the tablet or watch a show is hard but everything he does is educational.
Jackson a few days ago got the remote handed it to daddy and looked at the tv "um turn it on please" lol this kid is too smart for a 10 month old.
Oh and some sweetness, Isaac has been good at saying I love you in his own cute way, yesterday out of no where he said love you Jackson, it was so sweet. Especially since they don't get along very often.
I'm hoping for us to do some nature hiking soon but we have a few busy Saturday's coming up and don't have a hiking back pack thing for Jackson (I don't want to lug his heaviness and wiggliness around and up and down hills lol since most hikes aren't stroller friendly. If we go I will take pretty Fall pictures don't worry
Thanks to internet we can still stay pretty connected with family and friends from far away which I love
P.s. i'm pretty sure our neighbors dislike us just as much as we may sometimes dislike them....apartment problems
We have gone to lots of different parks to see what ones we like, there are better parks here then Utah I think.
We've found our favorite Wal-Mart and favorite winco. And love the big library!
We haven't made tons of friends yet but that okay. We did have a babysitter and so we had a date night which was much needed and the boys did fairly well.
I'm adjusting fairly well, Isaac is struggling the most, which makes since its hard to understand and even if I had prepared him better he would of still had a hard time. He still asks to go home or go to grandma's house and doesn't understand that stuff is far away. But he will get used to it eventually.
Isaac is learning lots and lots every day, I love it! He said his first prayer with help last night, he is growing up and I love it. He says hi to "friends" at the park lol it's cute. He struggles in nursery still but oh well we will get there.
Jackson is talkative without saying actual words and gestures and points to things. He walks tons and is silly and learning new things all the time. In a little over a month he will be 1, so exciting! Also he squeals a lot and rawrs. And night feedings are gone and just now he is starting to sleep through the night....yay, now my body needs to let me sleep through the night.
We got asked to talk on the 11th so I've been having dreams and nightmares about that while I prepare what to say lol mostly nightmares about how my boys are going to behave.
We have our first ward get together for chili and pie this Saturday so that should be fun seeing people outside of church.
I made a list and we are doing better at scripture study together with the kids, just doing the kid version for now. My personal prayers and church reading, and nightly prayers and fhe on Mondays. Need to work on morning prayers and keeping this a good routine.
We love video chatting with family sometimes it helps Isaac and sometimes it makes it worse, just never know lol
Without getting to go to Sunday school or relief society and sometimes missing most of sacrament it's been hard church wise but I try to read the lessons.
Electronic wise...still a work in progress. I'm better but trying to get Isaac to stop asking to play games on the tablet or watch a show is hard but everything he does is educational.
Jackson a few days ago got the remote handed it to daddy and looked at the tv "um turn it on please" lol this kid is too smart for a 10 month old.
Oh and some sweetness, Isaac has been good at saying I love you in his own cute way, yesterday out of no where he said love you Jackson, it was so sweet. Especially since they don't get along very often.
I'm hoping for us to do some nature hiking soon but we have a few busy Saturday's coming up and don't have a hiking back pack thing for Jackson (I don't want to lug his heaviness and wiggliness around and up and down hills lol since most hikes aren't stroller friendly. If we go I will take pretty Fall pictures don't worry
Thanks to internet we can still stay pretty connected with family and friends from far away which I love
P.s. i'm pretty sure our neighbors dislike us just as much as we may sometimes dislike them....apartment problems
Friday, September 11, 2015
My journey back to Him: Step 1
I’m not sure how exactly to write this so I’m going to be
write and hope I didn’t miss anything and hope it’s not all over the place =]
I think we all have things we want to change about ourselves
either physically or spiritually or mentally but admitting we want to and
actually taking action is two completely different things.
I’m a pretty lazy person, not completely lazy because with
kids I really can’t be but I will admit that I am lazy to some extent.
Also this brings up where there are times when you do take
action and start changing but for whatever reason things come up and your
progress starts falling and your back to where you were before.
Actually starting is the hardest part, it’s easy to just
stay in the comfortable even if it’s not healthy or the best place you can be.
We just convince ourselves changing is too hard so I’m just going to stay here
for a little while longer and years later your still there, not progressing at
all.
My point is when we decided we were going to pick up and
move to another state where I had no family and no friends, and a place I had
never been to before, it got me thinking. I was really excited for the
adventure and of course really scared but I started thinking well maybe now I
can change. Not fully knowing the changes I thought I should make I just felt
that I probably should change somethings now that I’ve been given this fresh
start.
Since moving here these past two weeks my eyes have been
opened to a few changes I needed to make. It became this list all from
different categories. I’m sitting here knowing I need to change, not that I’m
unhappy but knowing I could be happier and it would be better for me in the
long run but also really wanting to stay lazy (physically, spiritually,
mentally) because it’s just too hard.
Now being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter
Day Saints even though we moved away from friends and family we aren’t fully
alone because we’ve got these other members of the church to go to and get to
know and learn from and ask for help from. That is really comforting but still
a little scary because I’m not one to just go up and talk to people.
Anyways this past Sunday I went to church by myself because
the boys were sick but we felt at least one of us should go and get to know
more people. I’m really glad I did because I think it gave me a few more things
to add to my list and gave me a little bit more of a push to get up and make
the changes I needed to make. Now I may have long list of things to change BUT
I realize I can’t do them all at once because that’s what makes it harder to
complete the list, feeling overwhelmed.
The number one on my list I’ve decided to tackle first is in
the spiritual department.
I’ve never been a terrible member of the church, I’ve made
mistakes like everyone and learned from them. But when I came to this ward I
felt a little inadequate because everyone seemed SO spiritual (not saying my
past wards weren’t spiritual or the people I know aren’t, it just showed it to
me in a different way or my eyes were more open to see it then usual), partly
because I only knew them on Sunday. It made me realize that I’ve been doing the:
go to church, serve others, don’t drink, and don’t swear….etc. I’ve realized
I’ve just been coasting, no huge inclines and no huge downfalls, just resting
at this pace, settling. My first thought was how can people be this spiritual?
I’ve had my spiritual moments but not very many, when I looked back at journal
entries I remember the spiritual moments and how I felt but it had been awhile.
It’s hard for me to
admit this for several reasons. 1. It makes me feel like I’m a bad person even
though tons of us out there probably are just coasting through life. 2. I don’t
like feeling exposed and whenever I cry in front of someone or I’m telling my
faults, that’s exposing myself and I feel naked and I don’t like that. Afterwards
you always seem to feel better but during the process it’s not that fun.
A few days ago I thought one way to start this journey of
being more spiritual among other ideas is to read the book “21 days closer to
Christ” by: Emily Freeman, again. Now you can read a chapter a day or take your
time. I decided that once I felt like I accomplished whatever that
day/step/chapter required that I would move on.
The first day’s invitation is: come. Basically he asks at
the end what fills your nets and distracts you from coming and seeing/hearing
Christ. I realized one of my big ones is electronics: phone, facebook, tv,
movies, Instagram….etc. I knew I had this problem but just haven’t done much
about it. Anyways so here goes to less tv/ phone time and more time focusing
even more on my kids, my husband, Christ, and our home.
“As members of the church, we are charged to not let our
resolve dribble out and our commitment to follow the Savior evaporate. We must
be firm as a rock in living the gospel.” –Robet D. Hales
In spare moments I’ve decided to read a few more inspirational
type books as well, so one we have that I’ve never read it called “Return” By:
Robert D. Hales
I think I picked a good one so far!
I will blog more after I feel I’ve learned something
important to share, or I’ve completely most of the step, and when I start a new
change on my list.
Your more than welcome to suggest good spiritual books you’ve
read, preferably LDS ones but if it isn’t I will still look into it.
Within two days I have noticed a slight difference, and
enjoyed more one on one time with my kids and I think they’ve really enjoyed
that. =] Have a fantastic weekend!
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Goodbye & Hello
Here we are in Oregon...
We've said quite a few goodbyes to family and friends before we left. It wasn't too hard because we weren't leaving yet so it felt like it wasn't really happening but then the day of it wasn't so easy to say bye to my dad. Byes are not so fun even if you know you will see them again. I've never been very far away from my parents. The longest was 5 hours away at college in Idaho.
Everything went slowly then really quickly. Thankfully my father in law helped us with the move and my mom came along to help with the kids and unpacking.
I wouldn't have survived the drive with the boys by myself so glad my mom was there to help. We did pretty good though. We made it to baker city Oregon and rested up for the next days drive. We arrived Wednesday at 2:30 and the truck almost all unloaded. So we started the fun of unpacking. We got unpacked in about two days. Would of taken longer if I didn't have my mom helping out. Then we explored our new home town. There are a lot of fun things and somethings are different.
We love the park that's 5 mins away and next to it is a carousel ride so yay
Our ward is a pretty good size and they all seem nice. It's still going to take some time to make new friends and get use to everything. It's weird not really knowing anyone, and scary.
It helps having the kids keep me busy, they have struggled though. We dropped grandma off to the airport yesterday and once we did Isaac started asking where's grandma, it broke my heart but she can't stay forever with us. It will take time for him to stop asking for his normal visitors but we will skype or do hangouts to keep in touch. Isaac is sleeping pretty well and Jackson is still adjusting but is also teething so we are taking one step at a time and mommy takes naps sometimes too. I'm LOVING the terrible twos...not! Moving sure didn't help that. He pushes a lot of buttons. But we have an awesome library and has cool storytime.
Moving from a home to an apartment isn't fun because of dogs barking and noisy neighbors but it's not terrible. And I always worry my kids crying will keep a neighbor up too.
So goodbyes are never fun but hellos can be exciting....welcome to our new adventure living in oregon. Here's to a fresh start!
(Side note in about two years or less we will buy a house)
We've said quite a few goodbyes to family and friends before we left. It wasn't too hard because we weren't leaving yet so it felt like it wasn't really happening but then the day of it wasn't so easy to say bye to my dad. Byes are not so fun even if you know you will see them again. I've never been very far away from my parents. The longest was 5 hours away at college in Idaho.
Everything went slowly then really quickly. Thankfully my father in law helped us with the move and my mom came along to help with the kids and unpacking.
I wouldn't have survived the drive with the boys by myself so glad my mom was there to help. We did pretty good though. We made it to baker city Oregon and rested up for the next days drive. We arrived Wednesday at 2:30 and the truck almost all unloaded. So we started the fun of unpacking. We got unpacked in about two days. Would of taken longer if I didn't have my mom helping out. Then we explored our new home town. There are a lot of fun things and somethings are different.
We love the park that's 5 mins away and next to it is a carousel ride so yay
Our ward is a pretty good size and they all seem nice. It's still going to take some time to make new friends and get use to everything. It's weird not really knowing anyone, and scary.
It helps having the kids keep me busy, they have struggled though. We dropped grandma off to the airport yesterday and once we did Isaac started asking where's grandma, it broke my heart but she can't stay forever with us. It will take time for him to stop asking for his normal visitors but we will skype or do hangouts to keep in touch. Isaac is sleeping pretty well and Jackson is still adjusting but is also teething so we are taking one step at a time and mommy takes naps sometimes too. I'm LOVING the terrible twos...not! Moving sure didn't help that. He pushes a lot of buttons. But we have an awesome library and has cool storytime.
Moving from a home to an apartment isn't fun because of dogs barking and noisy neighbors but it's not terrible. And I always worry my kids crying will keep a neighbor up too.
So goodbyes are never fun but hellos can be exciting....welcome to our new adventure living in oregon. Here's to a fresh start!
(Side note in about two years or less we will buy a house)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)