Friends

Last night this blog idea sounded great in my head now it isn't flowing together as nicely. So I'm apologizing right now if it doesn't make any sense.

I've always been the type of person that needs friendship. I'm not a huge social person but I like getting together with great people (preferably not big groups i'm more a one on one person, at most maybe 4 people) and talking and laughing and just enjoying each others company.

If you've seen the movie Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I always wanted like that group of friends that we just were always friends from little kids until we were old. And I never felt I ever had that. I've come to realize most people don't have that.

Once I've found at least one good friend in a place I know that I will be okay, and I've always had at least one. One of those friends that you can talk to them about ANYTHING and your 100% comfortable with them.

In Michigan I had lots of friends in different stages of my life but I had TWO friends that were my constant friends and that made me better and I felt happy to the point that I really felt I was being myself. (this does not mean my other friends were bad but I think we all know there is always that few amount that you click with so much better then the others)

In Utah I've had some great friends here but as I got older there is ONE who has just been the best and I love her to pieces. And we are always there for one another and understand each other and be so stupid together and it doesn't matter.

I know I've said this before that I worried about making friends in Oregon because this time I only had my little family and not other family to go to if I didn't have any friends. I've met some great people here but I can say that there is at least TWO at the moment that are amazing people. They both are there for me in different ways and I love spending time with them. I'm sure I will have more and get to know others better as i'm friends with them longer. But I've found it truly is nice to have a few very close friends instead of a lot of friends in general.

I've always struggled with knowing if the friends I make really care for me or if they are just saying things because they think that's what I need to hear. Or just saying things because that's what you say even if they don't mean it.

As I've been working on loving myself and not worrying about what others think of me. And as I've been growing closer to my Savior I have less doubts about friendships. I don't worry as much if they really meant what they said or if I was a bit too weird that one time we hung out.
Because if people don't love me when i'm truly being myself then I don't think I should want to be around that. And as I get older I totally understand not wanting people around like that because I want people that care about me.

I can honestly say each night as I get ready for bed I feel an overwhelming feeling of love from some of my closest friends. They each fill my "love tank" even if they don't even know they did. I truly feel SO loved and not that people didn't love me before but I now KNOW and its the best feeling ever. Along with that I truly know that my Savior loves me too and that He is so proud of the choices I've been making.

It's so important to find the people that love and care for us because as humans we need to feel loved. I know my Husband loves me and is always there when I need him. And my children love me and rely on me. When your kids start saying "I love you mommy" without you asking them to it just warms your heart! (Isaac does this)

I've been SO blessed! I was telling someone yesterday about how we felt we were supposed to be here and how everything went smoothly. And she asked "Do you feel God has valitaed that?" (or something like that, has it really been true you should move here kind of a thing) And with very little thought I said "100%, I have grown SO much since moving here"

As women I believe friendship is very important, we need that social time to be women. If you don't think you have those Best friends out there or no one cares, you just might not have found them yet or you have and haven't realized they are that friend for you yet. And you don't always click with that person right away (sometimes you do) but it takes work to really understand each other and once you've worked on that it's quite a bond.

And my love for these friends have grown and I care dearly for them in all their trials and loving moments in life. I want to see them succeed in life and I see how amazing they are or could be. I see them at their highest selves. And I wouldn't have it any other way!

I am very grateful for the life I've been given and hope to be the best friend, wife, mother, and etc. that I need to be for people. Especially the best I can be to myself because I deserve to love myself as much as I love and care for others.

May the wonderful sunny summer bring you lots of laughter, joy, smiles, and love!

"I think happiness is what makes you pretty. Period. Happy people are beautiful. They become like a mirror and they reflect that happiness." -Drew Barrymore

^I think sometimes we find happiness through others and it reflects into us. I used to be sad or whiny in a way to get attention I was needing. Every so often I slip but I never feel happy even when I may get that attention. When I decided to be happy and i'm happy I feel exactly how I want to be. And its so much better to be around happy people. We have moments, we are human and we should always be there for people when they need us. But being happy and not letting things get to me have truly made a difference. But it helps beings around those happy friends!