Baby #2 & A Mother's Love

I am almost 21 weeks pregnant and it is becoming a little more real that were expecting baby #2, I just never knew it was going to happen so soon and so it felt like a dream.
We found out we are expecting another boy, which I kind of had a feeling that would be the case. It took be a little bit to be okay with that because I've always wanted a girl but each day goes by I get more excited about another boy, a friend for Isaac.
His name will be Jackson Steven. Steven is the name of Spencer and my dad so we decided to fit it in to a son's name. I am feeling him move more and more which makes it all a little more real.
It will be fun to see how much he looks like Isaac or doesn't look like Isaac. =] The second baby does go by pretty fast, i'm already halfway through and the last part usually goes by pretty fast. Luckily all has gone pretty well with this pregnancy, he is always moving for ultrasounds and when they check his heartbeat.
I told Isaac's pediatrician that my pregnancies are usually pretty good, I rarely feel pregnant. And he said "You must have one of those bodies made to grow/have babies" It may sound like a weird comment but it actually made me feel pretty good because I usually get down on myself a lot when i'm pregnant. That i'm not eating really good or drinking enough water and worry i'm not doing enough for my babies so that comment just made me feel good.

Isaac is 13 months old and just growing and learning things like crazy. Which brings me to the other part of my title. A mother's love.
It's SO powerful! A mother's love for her child is like nothing you've ever felt before. I'm sure it feels that way for most new mom's. Isaac is a blessing, he is the best son I could of ever asked for. We've had a lot of rough patches especially for the first 8 months or so. Learning each other and getting enough sleep. Getting enough sleep sure helps when raising a child. Isaac is amazing and there are days I just look at him and want to Squeeze him and kiss him all over! The smiles he gives me and now occasionally he will give kisses and wrap his arms around my neck like a hug. And he will sometimes put his hand on my shoulder or arm and it's the sweetest thing! He is sleeping much better which really helps us both. And he just laughs and plays so well and he is going to be a great big brother. He makes me so proud!
There are times I can't believe i'm already a mother to a boy and soon to be two boys but they are my life. I'm not much for working at jobs and i'm not the best at being a stay at home mom but I can do that better then anything else. And we learn and grow together. It's always great to take a break from your children but you always want to come back to them. And when they get so excited to see you it just melts your heart all over again.
I couldn't of asked for a better husband, he helps me with Isaac and is supportive and is amazing at his job but is a great father to Isaac. Isaac adores him!

On a side note I am quitting Lularoe, it's taking awhile to actually get rid of my product but hopefully i will at least break even or make a little off of it all. It was a good experience but not something I want to be doing right now or probably ever again. It's just too much. And we are slowly getting the house prepared for baby #2, don't plan on buying any clothes for him but there are a few big products we need to invest in.

Pictures!

Baby Jackson

It's a boy!

Look at this CUTE FACE

Belly comparisons in the same shirt lol

LOVE

4th of July compariosn =]

silly boy, he always makes me laugh

cool dude

1 year old!!

12 months
He's going to be a big brother come mid November even though he has no idea what that means lol
He figured out crawling under the gate so we lowered it
He loves putting lids on bottles and all sorts of things
He has slept a few nights without waking up
We started real milk but do some formula at night
He doesn't sit still very long anymore...sigh
He loves pushing cars/trains around the floor it's so cute to watch
He now throws tantrums when he can't have what he wants
He has kind of taken a few little bitty steps but not walking yet...he is a walker now!!
He has learned to take off some pen lids and other lids
We only let pacifiers be used for nap/bedtime and church we try only to let him have his blankie at those times too but that one we let slip occasionally
He now has 4 teeth 2 top ones now
He can now clap!
He can drink out of a straw!! So I got him so sippy cups with straws :)
He sometimes will just giggle to himself
He also gets frustrated easily so I sometimes have to take things away so he will direct his attention to something else
He just has the sweetest face and cutest smile!
You can tell he is understanding the world better
He seems to be a little picky when it comes to eating which Is frustrating but I'm bad at introducing other foods to him.
He loves taking off my sunglasses and putting them back on my face(with my help of course)
He makes a clicking sound to the cats like we do. It's cute!
Went to the zoo for the first time
Has a little eczema

Lularoe is still not taking off for me yet. This month is very dead no parties booked so we will see what's up.
As I said at the top we are expecting baby #2, it was sooner then we planned but God apparently had other plans for us in mind and we are fine with that.
We are excited. Due about November 19th and probably first week in July we will know the gender. Now I would like a girl to have one of each but I would love the baby no matter the gender!
We got a beautiful comfy rocking chair for cheap I love it!
I still don't have like huge cravings. I kind of have been liking frozen raspberries and sour candies I've been nauseas a lot because it's hard to eat food when you don't like food when pregnant. I haven't gotten sick much at all so we will see.

11 months old

11 months
Isaac can put lids on cans (not always seal them but put them on top)
He climbs up almost everything ahh
He decided to climb/fall out of the bath tub. He was fine there was just a cat litter incident lol
He loves!!! Helping daddy outside with planting plants or cleaning up the yard.
He pushes lots of different things around the floor with his butt in the air
He loves playing inside the refrigerator
He hasn't been sleeping good at night again... Maybe his teeth?!?
He eats pretty much anything
Lately he loves just playing with a small toy while sitting on my lap :)
He loves playing with this little basketball I found, it will roll away and he chases it
Also loves balloons too
He knows how to open the ottoman now so I'm going to have to put new things in it lol
Basically he gets in trouble a lot lol
He can stand up with out furniture every once in awhile
He got into the cat poop once
Smashes his fingers in drawers he can open
He sure is growing up but he is also still a little baby sometimes


Lularoe is awesome but I have no drive right now and because all the parties I have haven't been amazing it just adds to the damper mood. I know sometimes it takes time and I need to put forth more effort but life gets crazy sometimes. That's why I knew I wouldn't be good at staying with my job plus being a stay at home mom.

Ten months

Ten months
He weighs around 16 lbs and 26 1/2 inches now in a size 3 disposable diaper.
He got his first full blown cold... When we did so we lost a lot of sleep.
He tries to climb up on everything
He shakes his head
He will randomly just smile/squint his face which is hilarious
He will reach out his hand if he wants more of something
He now has Cheerios and kixs for snacks
He is adorable as always but defiantly a trouble maker
He is able to open a few cupboard doors now and lift the toilet lid up and down.
Still doesn't sleep through the night maybe on a rare occasion he might
We go on walks at least 3 times a week
Still only has 2 teeth but is eating a little bit more solids. He still doesn't eat as much milk as I think he should but is drinking water too so he won't get dehydrated
He got a big boy car seat! I was going to weight until he got closer to the weight limit but his height was getting their faster. It's huge! But I love it and I think Isaac does too (don't worry it's still rear facing and I plan to keep it that way until he is 2)
The only thing I don't like is there is no shield from the sun but I bought him sunglasses I hope he keeps on and we will eventually get a window shield thing too
He waves hi
He shuts doors
He makes all sorts of new sounds an copies us sometimes
He is a wild child
He is finally sleeping a little better depends on the night

I'm now 23 years old, seems crazy how times passes fast
I am now a lularoe independent consultant! Which is super exciting and so cool. It's a really great team of girls to work with but it is a lot of work and I'm having a few doubtful moments. I'm really hoping I can do this but it's really easy to get down on yourself. I really want to step out into something new and give it my all but other times I think I probably shouldn't of taken the risk.
Prayers are needed.
So March I got two colds so OVER them but they love lingering and in the middle of the night when I wake up my throat feels tight and sore, annoying
I'm finally a little better from the stinkin colds and so is Isaac so we can rest our bodies now.

9 months

Month 9
He hasn't learned a whole much up to this month.
But his two teeth are coming in more
If you take something away he likes he throws a fit until you distract him
He is learning to climb up on things to be taller
He has such a personality
We will go don't put that in your mouth and then he gives you a look like haha I'm gonna do it anyway
We are giving him cooked noodles and shredded cheese and pieces of bread and Cheerios. He loves it all! It is hard to introduce solid foods. Cuz you have to do it slowly and he only has two teeth so he can't just jump right in to a lot of things. It's complicate stuff.
He walks with his walker, cutest thing ever!
He now goes after the cats and attacks them
We had a few 7am-7pm nights without waking up but now it's getting bad again.
Probably my fault because I like to cuddle him when he is asleep so now he wakes up crying/screaming and I have to pick him up and rock him until he goes back to sleep. Wait to go holly! Ugh maybe he is sick though, hard to tell.
His hair is getting longer and he likes to get into everything!
He is really good and moving around with furniture and playing on his own. If he ever wants me he knows where to get me and he crawls all over me and I can see how much he loves me and needs me.
But man do I love him so much !
He has the cutest face when he looks at something in amazement or if he is concentrating on something. And his beautiful blue eyes and cute baby fat.
Time flies but I am so excited for his first birthday!!!

On a side note I put in to become a lularoe maxi seller and I will start may 1st IF they pick me. I'm super excited and hope it all works out.

The cats are getting so much bigger!

I go for walks when it's nice out with great people!

Spencer is keeping busy with work but the past week or two we both had our turn with a bad cold or flu and are slowly recovering.

I've decided to try and write a book, I'm really excited and hope I can take the time to work on it and learn new things.

I'm starting to get ance back like I used to have before I got pregnant... Boo and I'm starting to get a pudge in my belly so maybe I need to walk more or work out lol I say it but it probably won't happen.

Sometimes it would be nice to have another friend or stay at home mom like me to talk to on a regular basis but people are busy with their own lives so I manage with my Isaac conversations or tv shows lol

That's enough babble for now!

8 Months Old

Time really does fly and lots happen. I think from month 7 to month 8 was felt really long but Isaac accomplished SO much!
I'm assuming he is around 15-16 lbs (1 more month until he is properly weighed)
He is longer but I havent measured him to know for sure how long
He has mastered sitting up by himself
He has mastered crawling, he is a pro at it!
He pulls himself up on everything! His favorite is pulling himself up on me lol
He also can now take a few steps sideways while holding on to things
He can now pick up little yogurt bites or puffs and feed himself
AND he now has 2 holes at the bottom of his gums which means he is so close to finally getting teeth!
The past few nights he has been sleeping from 4-5 hours straight!!
For example bedtime is 7pm and he will sleep until 1030 or 1130 then wake up and then go back asleep until about 4 and then until 7 or so and i dont get him out of bed until 730 (he plays quietly)
I will be moving bedtime to 730 or 8 so that I can more morning time to myself to shower and workout
He eats about 6 ozs of milk at a time every so often with solid foods and yogurt/puff bites.
He has his whiny moments....but thats probably partly cuz of his teeth hurting him
Naps are starting to be kind of hard because he can pull himself up so he just doesnt rest but i can get 2-3 naps usually.
Weekends i'm lucky if he gets 1 nap especially on Sunday because daddy is home so it throws off our routine.
He loves crawling after the kittens and pulling out books from my bookshelves.
We havent really child proofed yet. We have 1 gate up so he wont crawl to the cat food and eat it. Other then that we watch him constantly.
He has fallen a few times and bonked his head but that comes with learning to be mobile sadly.
He also loves cords which are hard to hide so we are always always watching him.
Soon I hope to get a big entertainment center so i can lock up the wii u and dvd player so he can't turn them on all the time.
He says Mama really well and na na and ba
He also kind of waves which is really cute
he still fits in some 3-6 month clothes and 6 months clothes he will probably be in for a little while
He doesnt mind other people as long as its me holding him until he gets to know them for a few minutes.
He is a flirt and smiles and is cute with everyone (from a distance at first)
He hair is growing in patches lol
We still do cloth diapers but occasionally we do disposables so you will see pictures of both!
He keeps me on my toes thats for sure!

I really need to print out pictures and organize and make a cute scrapbook sometime in the future. It probably wont happen because scrapbooking takes time and money.

The cats are growing up like crazy! They are so cuddly and loving to everyone but now shed like CRAZY!
Trying to get back to working out but some of my workout cds arent working well so I need to fix that first.
I'm primary chorister in our ward and lately i've been feeling so lost, I just feel like i'm all over the place and i'm frustrated at feeling that way. I need to prepare better but the week flys by and next thing you know its Saturday! Eventually I will get it all together.
Spencer is back in school doing BYU Idaho online and its been working out pretty nice for him.
I just try to keep the house clean as much as I can make myself lol
My best friend Hillary and I hang out at least once a week which is nice to have someone besides a baby to talk to lol
We've had 2 loses in our family. My Grandma passed away at the age of 91 almost made it to her 92nd birthday. And my sister in law lost her baby boy Carter at 22 weeks pregnant.
So we've had some sad moments in our lives but it makes me very thankful for the plan of salvation!
We've been making future vacation plans and other plans, can't wait for summer time! 4 more months until Isaac is 1! So crazy!!
Now its been awhile since i've posted pictures so here are a few below

cat in a box, almond always does silly things

he is going in to attack them lol

Just being SO cute

Practicing to do Vday pictures... he was not in the mood for it

8 month old picture!

I love the cute poses he sleeps in =]

Being a dare devil! =]

Trap

Trap
There are these times for whatever reason I am in this sort of trap. That's the name I've given this thing. It's like I'm trapped in my own little bubble of emotions. That no matter what I say or do I'm just kind of stuck in this trap for a little while.
I over think a lot of things it's just my personality I guess. So almost everything that is done or said or a thought is analyzed in my mind weather said or done by me or someone else. I have this battle in my head over every thing that I did or thought of doing or saying.
Sounds exhausting doesn't it? It is. Lol
I may think one thing one day and next month I've changed my mind. I'm such a girl!
Journaling has saved my life in a few ways. I don't go out and talk to a bunch of people especially now that I've become a stay at home mom so journaling has allowed me to kind of write out my thoughts and feelings that are bouncing around in my head. Maybe someday I will write a story about all the crazy things that happen but for now they are just random thoughts.
As I am sitting here writing this I realize I probably sound like a crazy lady!
Back to this whole trapped thing. It's like you want to say everything to someone about everything you have ever done, said, or felt and that might feel great in the moment  but then later you realize maybe it's best to just keep it all inside or written down on paper. But once those things are out (because you've been dying to spill it all) you realize in the end it doesn't solve much of anything. That something's are just better kept inside your head. Then your stuck, trapped in your thoughts over thinking and over analyzing everything all over again for the 100th time.
I have a few theories of why this "trap" happens and they all seem pretty ridiculous but for some reason it happens and someday I will figure it out and break it. It's not like it happens often maybe once or twice a year at different times.
When it's over it's over I move on and I don't look back. What's the point of dwelling on the past right? Except I do it almost constantly and I think or actually I've come to realize that it's a lot harder to forgive yourself. It's really easy to beat yourself up over every little thing. I read something a few days ago that said "be your own best friend" treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. I understand what it is saying but I have still yet to figure out how to apply that to myself.
Applying things to your life is a lot easier said then done. I've read lots of things that I find amazing and so true but have yet to take those big steps to change. It's easy to stay in your "comfort" zone and go about your every day life doing almost the same old thing every day. A child sure can throw that for a loop though, they never really let you be "lazy" or "boring" they keep you on your toes. One day I looked up an realized a wave called "life" picked me up and all of a sudden I'm married with a child not sure when that all happened. Some days it just hits you. Life moves really fast so you need to pause and take a good look around and appreciate what you have and see what you should change.
At the moment Isaac is just throwing my emotions all over the place.
Now don't over think this post.  I really had a thought and just started typing and it kind of just went all over. Maybe one day this will be a start for a poem or a story down the line.
Well I guess I should try to get some sleep while Isaac is asleep but I'm sure once I fall asleep he will wake up again. Story of my life some days :S
Either way it was nice to get some random writing in. Make sure to do something spontaneous every now and then To keep life fun and interesting it will probably help you live longer. I'm sure I worry enough for everyone in the world somedays. Lol