Once you start becoming a healthier person you notice bad habits about yourself. And just because I've become consistent and dedicated to working out every day (with my much needed breaks) does that mean my life is so much better then it was. I am now hit with even more frustrations that apparently I buried in my comfortable lazy way of living.
I do believe that a lot of you, women especially might think or feel these same things but we don't talk about them because we think people are going to think we need some kind of help. We probably all need help lol
I LOVE working out, it really gives you that sense of accomplishment once you get on a routine of completing workouts and noticing your doing better then you were from the beginning: lifting for longer or heavier weights, running longer or at a faster speed, or keeping up with the pace better....
You might even notice your body is actually changing. You've lost weight, you just look different, or clothes are fitting you differently. That feeling is an amazing feeling I've experience a few of these but sadly it doesn't last.
I've realized it's a daily sometimes hourly thing. Battling that "but I'm still not good enough feeling" we probably will never be where we want to be. The world so easily makes us believe we are never good enough even if we are trying as hard as we can.
We compare ourselves to others, not all of us but it happens. We are all physically built so different so we will never be like another person even if we worked really hard for it.
There was a blog I read once about not trying to get back to the body you had before babies because your not going to be the same again. Having a child changes you and you should love and accept the new body you have. I am amazed that our bodies cant carry children and deliver them but it still takes getting used to =] I have a little bit bigger hips then I used it and I feel it throws everything off but its true you should love your new body style then your old one.
I've picked a goal to work towards becoming a teacher for a core class. That's a great goal but each day I still doubt my abilities, not just physically but personality wise. But I read somewhere that (you should try for things out of your comfort zone because you might be surprised at how well you might do that new thing )
So it keeps me thinking that maybe I just might be better then I think
I LOVE and HATE the gym setting :)
You can find awesome support from people you know or barely know. There are some great people out there who want you to achieve your goals or just want to help you be a better you.
But there are also those people who've been going for years and you think I'm never going to look like that or be able to do that. You've really have to not focus on that but it can creep him.
Let's talk sauna/steam room for a moment haha
Love them, their relaxing and just awesome. And you can go in anyway you choose: fully clothed, bathing suit, towel, naked.... doesn't matter. It's a mix of every type and every style of body. And those women that come it naked really don't care what people think of them and are proud of how they look, even if their body type isn't the way the world says it should be.
I would love that confidence. I may have confident days here and there but I don't think I would ever be that confident. And in general it's just uncomfortable to share a room with that but that's just my personality.
Some days I feel like such a small, weak little duckling in the gym setting and some days I feel powerful and strong.
I'm hitting all areas, ive slacked on running a bit but try to get it in 1-2 days a week. I do get cardio in and strength training through classes. And like I said earlier I have noticed changes. I have some pants getting looser and some days I can tell I'm stronger and I've lost maybe 2 pounds since starting my journey.
Here is another flaw that I'm not proud of and I struggle with it daily. I think I've struggled most of my life but until I changed my habits I didn't realize how bad it was. And a lot of people aren't going to really understand this.
You see those shirts that say things like "I run because I love food." Etc.
I hate food.... there are days I won't eat when I'm hungry because it's too much work or makes dishes or if I eat more that means I'm going to have to spend more money on food.
Since I've been working out I'm burning calories so I need to eat more, this is difficult for me. And I started feeling sick on and off for days because I wasn't getting the calories I needed for the new lifestyle I've chosen.
As a mom it's always very easy to forget to eat a meal because your feeding your kids or doing errands. But the sickness was starting to be hard to handle while taking care of kids so I knew I needed to change my ways.
1. I have a calender full of what I should eat so I can prepare ahead of time or not sit trying to figure out what to eat
2. I have alarms that go off every two hours to remind me to eat a snack and or meal. Because time sometimes flies.
So far I haven't been as sick but it isn't easy. Like I said a hate food and now having to eat even more of it is honestly hard for me. Being a picky eater of course limits I food options which can make eating more difficult because i sometimes eat the same things all the time.
Anyways it's a daily struggle in so many areas.
And I can say I do eat healthier then I used to, their is rarely any ice cream or chocolate in the house and I don't even realize it most days.
I also don't wake up as sore as I used to that first month. I wake up in a different kind of sore or that i can tell I worked out but it's manageable to get up in the mornings :)
I'm a bit more active through out the day and want to get out and do things but I still have my lazy setting which is needed here and there! But should use the energy bursts I do get towards cleaning the house better... my next weak area that needs fixing.
I've been reading this book "love is a choice" I wanted it for a marriage type book which is what it's been helpful in but it's also been helpful in loving yourself and other people in general.
There was another quote I saw about how people realize your beauty more then you see your beauty.
We see ourselves all the time and we get lost in all the negative that some times we don't get why people might think we look beautiful. Or we don't deserve those compliments. I think most of us could list more things we didn't like about ourselves then what we like.
In the end I am loving the journey I've decided to take into a healthier and more for lifestyle but it is a daily choice and a long, hard journey with many ups and downs. I am doing great at drinking lots of water =]
I'm thankful for those who do stand by me through it all and hopefully who will always be there for me.
Please don't think i'm crazy for all these things. I just wanted to be honest because maybe there are others who feel this way and feel alone in that. I can change the way I feel and it's a daily thing we work on in this world.
Quotes some times get me through another day or remind me of who I want to become inside and outside.
I plan to take monthly pictures of my progress which occasionally I may post here.
"God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him." -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
"Here's to a year of better habits, positive thinking, clean eating & most of all, loving yourself."
"I'm not beautiful like you, i'm beautiful like me"
"Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful, without needing someone to tell you."
"Love yourself first and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."
"There's a difference between pretty and beautiful. When someone is pretty, they have a good appearance. But when someone is beautiful, they shine on the inside and out..."
"Eat like you love yourself. Move like you love yourself. Speak like you love yourself. Act like you love yourself."
Below is pictures of me probably at my worst. I was not physically fit and I ate terribly. Doesn't mean I didn't love life and have fun =] And I still probably don't look big to other people but thought i'd share. This was Beginning of 2010
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