Doing whats important

Do you ever have days where you don't feel well it could be physically, emotionally, or mentally.
I find when I'm like either of those I start slacking or have been slacking on important things. When you feel miserable its hard to really want to do anything but binge on Netflix, pinterest, etc.
There are times you physically can't do much and that's okay.
But I was reminded of doing whats important even when you don't feel like it.
What I mean by this is saying your prayers morning and night and not just when you need strength to get through the trial but to also express gratitude for things. And to read/study your scriptures and be reminded that so many others went through tough things and they survived. And maybe even be thankful your not going to war and experiencing bloodshed and death (I know some people are experiencing this) And don't compare your trials to others because people are given what they can handle even though at the time it may not seem you can handle it. God knows us!
And then to put your device down or turn off the tv and focus on something different, if you have children, your children! Change up the routine a little. And especially be grateful and love your spouse.
Lastly don't focus so much on the ailment you are going through.  

In the end I always remind myself "This too shall pass" and a friend reminded me of this quote "Life is to be enjoyed; not just endured"

Have a Heavenly Day =]

One Year

It's hard to believe tomorrow will be a WHOLE year we've live in Oregon. Lately it's felt like we've been here a lot longer then that. Almost instantly Oregon felt like Home!
We've all grown up physically, mentally, and spiritually. We are still learning a few ins and outs of Oregon but have been here for every season and I can say summer is my favorite because i'm not a huge fan of the rainy season which is most of the year, my body craves that sunshine in the summer and MAN does it deliver! HOT HOT! We are still making new friends and decided when to make more changes.
I wanted to list the people that i'm so grateful to, because they helped shape me and change me into a better version of myself or they became an amazing friend. I decided I wouldn't list names because I don't want to forget anyone, I just hope if your reading this that you already know that I truly appreciate the friendship! There are a good handful of you that I want to always be close to!
We've had ups and downs since living here but i'd like to say more ups!

Isaac is 3 now & Jackson is almost 2, I can't even describe everything they've learned since we first arrived! Maybe I will just put side by side comparisons of how they've changed physically =]

 

I'm grateful for the opportunity and feeling that we had to move out here. It will always be one big turning point in my life that made everything better! Do we still miss being close to family & friends....we sure do! That's why we always plan to visit maybe once every year and you all are welcome to come visit this beautiful place!
There is still SO much to look forward to and explore here and I truly can't wait to grow stronger physically, spiritually, and mentally.

Change can be sad, exciting, and scary! Deep breathe, prayer, scripture reading, good nights sleep, and a good work out (and obviously some girl talk) make it all easier. (maybe some junk food too)

I will always update every so often as new things happen to us but for now we are just enjoying our life that we've built here so far and the friendships we've made!

Analyzing yourself

We've been in Oregon for 11 months! I feel like I've lived here my whole life, I feel so connected to Oregon. Most of that is because within these 11 months I feel I've grown so much more then I grew in the last 24 years of my life.
Yesterday I was reflecting on how many things I've changed either big or small and how I've stuck with those changes. And i'm constantly seeing all these other things I would like to change. And taking on new changes little by little. (too many changes at once could soon all fall apart)

Just to list a few changes I've made:

Working out, started in November or October and I haven't stopped! And I've come a long way! I now don't rely on classes to keep me going or other people to keep me going. I go because I want to grow and become the best version of myself. I now don't mind doing work outs by myself and I even found a work out routine I do on my own and sometimes I even add to it. I can tell i'm getting stronger. (eating healthy is a different story lol i'm better but not like I should be)

Since that dentist appointment of bad news I've been SUPER awesome at keeping my teeth even more clean before and they feel great! Our the cavities gone....don't know yet but i'm proud of myself.

Scripture reading EVERY morning, I still do it! I've learned so much, and found such comfort and power in the scriptures and some amazing scriptures that touched my heart. Along with this I also still do my personal morning and evening prayers!

Also EVERY evening as a family we read scriptures together and say prayer! And even though the kids rarely ever sit still and listen to it I know its making an impact. Isaac will now say "we need to read our scriptures" if we didn't grab them before we went in their room yet. That touches my heart!

I was talking last night with a very sweet friend of mine and did my typical explaining how I over think EVERYTHING! And jump to negative conclusions and explained why I think I do what I do etc.
And she goes it seems like you have thing figured out.

I had never thought about that before. I know myself more then I thought I knew myself. (there are still things I haven't figured out) I analyze myself SO much but in doing that I've found the why the things I do which then helps me know what to do and how to start to fix them.

One by one of course but when I know i'm ready to take the huge steps the change whatever the thing is then I stick with it. You have to get in that low and deep thinking to realize you don't want to feel that way anymore so "lets make a change" comes into your head.

We are just all always so hard on ourselves but people don't always see all those things in us.
I once got pointed out about my hand gesturing while I talk, I never realized I did it. But a friend once said the way I did it was beautiful and that I shouldn't stop doing it. I never would have thought about it that way.

I've felt so much living in Oregon and we've figured out the next steps we want to take as a couple and a family and we go on adventures together and loving every minute of it! I'm a full of gratitude and love. I've learned my lows and what to try and do to escape those moments and who's true and helps make my life whole.

-Family updates-
Isaac- He is potty trained, it went A LOT better then I expected and he is just so cute and grown up. I just love it! He also moved to a toddler bed and did an AMAZING move to that too. We got rid of the crib and he cried "don't give away my bed, that's my baby bed." it was so sad and I didn't think he would be so upset about it.

Jackson- Tried the toddler bed....he still needs to be restrained haha He is learning so many new words and his new favorite is "mine" so that's been a blast to hear daily. He is learning to crawl up bigger things. And he LOVES cheese.

They help each other to get into things but they are so happy, smiley, giggly, and fairly well behaved and i'm just so proud and love them so much! (i'm sure I missed something)

The end of life

My last grandparent passed away on Monday, Grandma Moore (my moms mom). I think death in general always makes you think about life more deeply. I knew it was coming soon and I wasn't totally sad because the last few years of her life she was slowly slipping away but doesn't mean I didn't ache over it.
In general though i'm not one to cry right away when i'm hurt especially in front of people. Maybe its because I feel it makes me weak or when I do cry I then can't control it. It's not easy to stop and i'd rather not look like a mess in front of people and so exposed. But maybe not crying also makes people think i'm being rude..... I am usually more broken inside over things then I may look on the outside. Neither way is wrong but just thought i'd explain who I am.

So fairly last minute I quickly got a plane ticket and Spencer stayed home with the boys and I headed to Iowa. My sweet friend dropped me off at the airport Wednesday morning and I arrived in Iowa Wednesday night.

Back story: My parents are both originally from Iowa and most of the family has stayed in Iowa, since moving to Utah we don't get to go see them very often. It was sad it took my grandmas death to get pretty much all of us there but it was MUCH needed!

My family especially the Tripp side (my moms side) are weird and crazy and I love it!

My parents picked my brother and I up from the airport and my sisters were already in the car. The little drive to my Uncle Fred's house brought back awesome memories from growing up. It rarely ever is just the parents and us kids alone now that we all have little families of our own. The joking around and laughing just made me so happy that I could be there.

Side note: I had no phone service while in Iowa :/ which was super hard for me lol If I had internet I could do a few things but I was phoneless. I think I really needed to be though.

Thursday afternoon we went over to my Uncle Larry's house to get together with more family before the viewing that evening. BEST DAY EVER, we all laughed so hard my cheeks hurt and I got a headache. I just loved every minute of it, it brought back fun times as a kid only this time I was part of the grown up crazy conversations. So our family is crazy especially all together but what I love is our relationship status's are all different, we are different color, and different religions, and now live all over but when we come together that doesn't matter at all! We have so much love and life for each other. It touched my heart and made me realize how important and amazing relationship with family is. You don't have to see each other daily to know that we care.

The viewing was interesting. I think open caskets are good and bad and everyone thinks differently. For me the few days before she died the pictures I saw of her were horrible, it wasn't the grandma I knew and remembered. When I saw it was open casket I was very nervous. But when I saw here WOW she looked AMAZING! And it made me not so sad but I will say she looked like a wax figure and when I would glance over I kept thinking she was going to pop awake lol
For me I would rather see once quick and then close and be done. Sadly I had to see her for multiple hours like that and for two days.
I've also noticed sometimes I crack jokes to distract myself from situations like that.

Lots of people came, and were so sweet and all reacted so differently. I was really glad to be there for my mom though, and that all of us kids could be. And all of my Grandmas kids came too :)
-I didn't realize how long we were going to be there so I went from 12-8pm with no food. I felt like a little complaining kids cuz I was STARVING and dizzy from lack of water and food but I made it through! lol We didn't really know everyone even though most was family so it was hard to just sit around doing nothing. They spoke a little at the end. Her second eldest son, my uncle spoke and we learned that she had a really hard life. I never would have guessed! And then he read a letter that my mom wrote to her....that is when my tears almost came. What a beautiful written letter!
Afterwards we went out to eat pizza and it was delicious and hit the spot!!

Friday morning was the funeral. We got up early and ready and headed to the church. I would like to point out that this was the firsts viewing and funeral that I stayed for everything and this is the first non Mormon funeral I've been too.
We as a family had to surround and watch them close the casket, wow that's really hard. I think because its closing her off and you truly wont see her on earth again. I could of cried then but I held back because I wasn't going to cry, I wasn't going to let myself do that because I know she is in a better place, and happy and healthy and I will see her again.

After that was the service, to be honest I felt SUPER uncomfortable over it. Its just a lot I don't know, and not what we do funeral wise. And when you don't know why they do what they do and don't know when to repeat things you feel weird. But it was interesting to watch. Then we met at the graveyard to say a few words and they buried her.

Later we all met again to hang out and then even later to talk and laugh some more. It's a beautiful thing and I think she would be truly happy that a lot of us all could come and we enjoyed our time together.

Saturday morning my dad dropped me off at the airport. I was ready to come home and Spencer did an amazing job watching the boys and I'm very thankful to him!

On my first flight this video came to mind
Men's Hearts Shall Fail Them- Elder Russell M. Nelson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMwKxmTLaCs

And as I was on that plane looking out the window at the wing, I thought to myself if this plane were to come crashing down how would I feel. And wow Peace, and calm enveloped me. I felt such at peace with my life and how i'm living it and the choices I've made lately that if I had to die in that moment I was really okay with it. (the crashing and painful part of the plane going down wouldn't be awesome to feel and look forward to lol) And how much love I felt from Heavenly Father that he was proud of the choices I have been making. I would hate to leave my loved ones behind but I knew that if it was time, I was at total peace with it. It opened my eyes to life and how blessed I truly am. Doesn't mean that i'm mistake free or that I won't continue to do somethings wrong but that I am on the right path and I know he is very happy with me. A scripture had come to mind with this, its one of my favorites: John 14: 27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

I safely arrived home and missed my husband and kids so much and I know they missed me <3
It was a trip that I didn't know I needed, but I feel changed and refreshed!

I miss Grandma Moore but it was her time and I know that she is looking down on all of us and smiling. And that even though she had some very hard moments in life she let them go and put them in the past, which is what we all should do. Move forward =]

what do they see

Recently I've wondered what little kids and babies see in people. I'm sure they see things differently then adults, they've seen Heavenly Father more recently then us.

I always wondered why certain little ones preferred certain people over others.
Some you can totally wonder why because 1 person is kind and nice and clean. But sometimes its someone who isn't nice and may be dirty.

I was thinking that maybe when its an unlikely person its because they can see that persons heart and know they are better then they portray on the outside. Or maybe they sense that person needs love or a simple smile from someone.

And just because they might not like you doesn't mean your a bad person. I've been in both situations. And sometimes the days little ones love me it's when I've needed that for whatever reason.

But if you think about it as adults there are times we feel a certain way about a complete stranger, good feeling or bad feeling. And the way react about that feeling is on us.

Babies especially those that can't talk yet probably have a lot more going on in their heads then we think. I wish I knew what they were thinking in those situations and my own children's thoughts lol

But I don't even understand my own thoughts that go through my head. They go ALL over and never at rest lol

The Lord, without equivocation, has declared, “I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth” (D&C 93:40).

May I return again to the words of Brigham Young: “Let it be your constant care that the children that God has so kindly given you are taught in their early youth the importance of the oracles of God, and the beauty of the principles of our holy religion, that when they grow to the years of man and womanhood they may always cherish a tender regard for them and never forsake the truth.” ⁴ 

change your point of view

Let's be honest any one who's a stay at home mom has probably said once "I need a vacation from my vacation." Once you become a parent especially one that stays one your going on vacation with your job (watching and taking care of your kids which only is harder because their schedules are off and your in a new place)

It's hard to be excited for a vacation sometimes for the following reasons:

Less sleep either because of the children or because it's just not the same bed
Cranky children & let's be honest sometimes the adults too
Eating habits are messed up
Exercise is messed up
Too cold/too hot
Drama
Changes in plans
Sicknesses
Miscommunication
Owies

Sometimes I think about all of these things and want a vacation with Spencer, a friend, or alone but forget about all the wonderful things to vacations with your family and little kids

Lots of laughter
Tan lines
Family bonding time
Seeing new places
Cuddling with my kids at night which I never do (because they don't sleep well in a bed with us but it's sweet moments I get with them)
Lots of fun pictures
Spending time with new friends or family they don't see often anymore

Our drive to Utah was not too bad, the kids actually did really well. The hotel stay to break up the drive was a bit rough. The hotel didn't have pack n plays like I thought and our kids especially Jackson don't sleep well with us (outside of a crib like bed) so we didn't get to bed until midnight or later but from that I got the sweetest picture of our boys sleeping side by side and we slept in a bed together as a family. Spencer and I also got to know a little more about our boys. Jackson's is a squirmer (maybe not as much if he is in j is own bed) Isaac is a noise maker (not a ton but says maybe a word or two, and will sometimes yell or cry in his sleep)
Thankfully none of them snored =)

In Utah we packed plans in to see friends and family and it was crazy but so worth it! We took one day were we changed plans to stay in town more and that was perfect and needed.
Isaac had his "I scared" moments because we were in a new place and it didn't matter if he was exhausted.
So through that we helped him with learning to Pray to Heavenly Father to send angels to watch over and protect, we got him a glowstick and a big chase(from paw patrol) stuffed animal.
And Jackson we thought was getting a cold but realized he has allergies in Utah so medicine and oils helped him sleep through the night most times and his eczema came back right away (we love Oregon for taking this away)
We flipped Jackson forward facing and he seems to love it (now I can see if he is getting into trouble )

I had some relaxing times like the Spa with my sister, and got to see my whole family. I don't remember all the funny moments or things they said but I know we had a great time.
It's funny because I felt like we never left. I love friends and family that live there but I don't ever want to move back. Oregon became my home very quickly and I don't want to leave it.

We then arrived in Idaho and celebrated more birthdays (we did in Utah too). We met up with Spencer's dad and the tour group he was busing around. It was a group of Chinese people and they gawk at kids they love them so much. I felt like my kids were celebrities it was funny.

Then that night Jackson woke up throwing up. It was sad but he cuddled a lot...so we had to do a lot of laundry. And he was loving on daddy so daddy got a nice bonding time with him. Sunday evening he is doing better. He slept better got water sickish because he gags on mucous like his daddy always struggled with. Jackson is always exhausted and me too! I've constantly felt each night I've taken a sleeping pill because I just want to pass out a few mins after waking up. It's from all these nights with waking up in the middle of the night a lot. Lol and just traveling in general with children is exhausting. But it's been great to see family and friends and have a good time together, change up the routine again.
I'm very proud of my boys they've been fairly well behaved!
Tonight if Jackson is still feeling better Spencer and I were going to celebrate our soon to be 5th wedding anniversary! (June 18th) I'm excited because we've been so busy on the trip it will be nice to have a little down time with no kids to worry about (let's me honest I will still be doing some worrying, I can't help it)

I haven't been exercising like I had planned to, and scripture reading has been sparse and of course eating hasn't been the best but it's okay because when we get home I will be right back to it. Right now is family time which has been needed.
So I've changed my point of view

I knew you could!

This post will be a book I've read recently, and I love it! Everyone should read it, its a bit long but beautifully written.

I knew you could! A book for all the stops in your life By: Craig Dorfman

I knew you could! And you knew it, too---
That you'd come out on top after all you've been through.
And from here you'll go farther and see brand-new sights.
You'll face brand-new hills that rise to new heights.

I wish I could show you the stops that you'll visit,
But that isn't my choice to make for you, is it?
Instead, I can tell you some lessons and tales
That I've learned and relearned in my time on the rails.

First of all, you must find your own track,
So you can start right away and not be held back.
But which track is yours? Well, that all depends
On which you it's going and where it might end.

Different tracks wind around,
over, under, and through,
So pick out the one
that works best for you.
Though the track you start out on
will feel like "the one,"
You might take a few more before you are done.
And now, with your eyes on your new destination,
Start up your wheels and roll out of the station.

On your new trip, you'll make plenty of stops,
In deep river valleys and on high mountaintops.
Some will surprise you and some will be planned,
And you'll roll through each one saying, "I think I can!"

You'll go through tunnels, surrounded by dark,
And you'll wish for a light or even a spark.
You might get scared or a little bit sad,
Wondering if maybe your track has gone bad.

So here's some advice to help ease your doubt:
The track you took in must also go out.
So steady yourself and just keep on going--
Before you know it, some light will be showing.
And then you'll be out, heading to a new place.
You'll be ready for the next tunnel you face.

Sometimes you'll look up and see planes in the sky,
And you'll think to yourself, "I wish I could fly."
The cars on the roads will seem quick and free--
You'll feel stuck on your track and think, "I wish that was me."

But the plane might wish he could get out of the air,
Saying, "I wish I could travel like that train down there."
The cars will watch as you seep right along,
And they'll say to each other,
"Look how fast and how strong!"
Don't worry about not being a car or a plane,
Just enjoy the trip you'll take as a train.

Don't be afraid to toot your own horn,
If you need to be heard or there are people to warn.
Or if being yourself just makes you so proud,
That you want to share it and sing it out loud.

You'll follow your track
through twists and through bends,
And stop at new stops and pick up new friends.
They'll all come aboard with smiles and greetings.
You'll have such great times
with the people you're meeting.

On the days when you're sad and feel you can't go,
Speak up and ask a friend for a tow.
That's what friends do, so don't be afraid.
You'd do the same if your friend needed aid.

You might stop at some stops that you never have toured,
And look for new friends, but they won't come aboard.
So you'll have to head out with a creak and a groan,
Setting out once again on your track, all alone.

Try to remember that the world is so wide,
Full of all kinds of people with their own trains to ride.
Just stay true to yourself as you travel your track,
With no second-guessing and no looking back.

Once you're on the right track, you'll probably say,
"This one is mine-- I'm here to stay."
Try to enjoy the track that you choose--
Stop now and then to take in the views.

If you rush forward, as a general rule,
Before you arrive, you could run out of fuel.
Don't overwork, but save up some strength.
That way, every day, you can travel great lengths.

You'll need all that strength on the days when you're stuck,
Or tired, or sad, or just out of luck.

When your belief in yourself doesn't feel quite so pure,
And your "I think I can" doesn't sound quite so sure.

That's when to push and to strive and to strain,
To show the world you're not a giving-up train.
And you're wise if you know that doing your best
Means that sometimes you should just slow down and rest.

Speeding through your whole trip will bring only sorrow,
So slow down today to be happy tomorrow.

There's more about life that you'll learn as you go,
Because figuring things out on your own helps you grow.
Just trust in yourself, and you'll climb every hill.
Say, "I think I can!" and you know what?
You will!


LOVE IT!!!! <3 I believe in all of you and hope you believe in yourselves too