He suffered for us All

There have been a few trials that have come up, might not seem huge to some people but either way they were are hard for me.
Between our check engine light coming on and having to pay a good amount of money to get it fixed and sicknesses between the boys and I.
The car one is hard especially if you move to a new place because now you have to figure out what place won't rip you off and will be kind and helpful. And being used to asking your dad to look at it to now not being able to.
One of my biggest fears is a car I'm driving breaking down and leaving me stranded somewhere with kids in the car with me. Doesn't matter even if it's not far from a store I would still probably break down in tears.
Anyways yesterday the check engine light came on again....the car hasn't started acting funny yet but will go get it checked again. Thankfully that part is free.
And the boys getting coughs and running noses and just not feeling well has been rough and then my ear decided to get a terrible ear infection out of know where. Usually I have a warning but this time i didn't. And if you've ever had a swimmers ear infection it's one of the most painful ear infections.
So taking care of sick boys and trying to heal myself was rough.
I was given a few blessings and prayed a lot. And it's been a week and they should be a lot better but they aren't 100% yet, so here are a few things I've learned.

1. The Lord will give us strengthen and patience when we need them. I'm not great with patience (a lot of people aren't) especially with my boys so being in pain doesn't help my patience with them. But I did have enough patience to make it through the day.

2. I was looking in the mirror and to any person I pass I probably look totally normal to them but I couldn't hear like an average person can hear. Which makes it hard to leave the house because I have to work harder to understand people if they decide to talk to me and listen for my kids at the same time. Which shows you that you truly never know what someone is struggling with because it's not always an outward thing.

3. Then of course husband's are pretty great, he couldn't take away my pain but giving me blessings helped a lot and just being there to help with the boys and being understanding

4. And I'm very grateful for my ears, having partial hearing lately really throws your whole body off and it can be frustrating not to hear well.

I'm going back to the doctor today because my ears should be back to normal but they aren't (but they are a lot better) so we will see what's up
And I will be checking the car so we will see what's up there.

Thankfully the boys have been sleeping fairly well these past few days. :) but there are changing we will be making in the next month that will bring a few sleepless nights probably.

We are slowing down formula and bottle feeding with Jackson to once a day and have introduced regular milk. Once that's going pretty well we will be taking the pacifier away, which he mainly only has for naps and bedtime but sometimes other times since we've had sicknesses. After that when he is sleeping fine without it....we will put him in Isaacs room..... so we will see how that goes. I'm excited and also not since the nights will be rough.

We are also being more strict on snacks and treats because as my husband reminded us treats are treats because it's a treat when you get one, not a daily thing. Lately I haven't been wanting candy or things like that much anyways which makes it easier to give it to the boys less anyways besides the still constant asking for it. He is getting better though and eats then meals better. :)

Yesterday was a really weird day, Isaac slept through the night but woke up in a whiny, sensitive, mean mood. He hurt Jackson a lot and cried over everything and wouldn't eat anything. I'm assuming he was just sick but put him down for a nap early and he didn't even cry about it and slept for two hours. But that evening was rough too. I feel bad because I wish I knew what he was feeling. Maybe just having a moment :(

Hopefully soon their cold symptoms will be gone, there is a cold going around that's been lasting weeks so someday we will all be 100% again. And we are hoping with us feeding them better they will get sick less.

Love my family and I'm so excited for the things we are teaching them and Isaac is showing a difference with the gospel even more in our home <3
Can't wait for all the fun celebrations coming up!

 Halloween
Jackson turns 1
Thanksgiving
Christmas

Woot woot

Let me leave with part of a talk from Elder Oaks gave at this last conference:

In the Savior’s Atonement, He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind.” As President Boyd K. Packer explained: “He had no debt to pay. He had committed no wrong. Nevertheless, an accumulation of all of the guilt, the grief and sorrow, the pain and humiliation, all of the mental, emotional, and physical torments known to man—He experienced them all.”¹

Why did He suffer these mortal challenges “of every kind”? Alma explained, “And he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12).

 

Christ knows how you feel during all those terrible pains or sicknesses you go through, and he did it so he would know how we felt and how to help us overcome. <3 I LOVE THAT!

one month in Oregon

It's crazy it's already been a month. I don't feel like this is my home necessarily but I'm fairly comfortable here.
We have gone to lots of different parks to see what ones we like, there are better parks here then Utah I think.
We've found our favorite Wal-Mart and favorite winco. And love the big library!
We haven't made tons of friends yet but that okay. We did have a babysitter and so we had a date night which was much needed and the boys did fairly well.
I'm adjusting fairly well, Isaac is struggling the most, which makes since its hard to understand and even if I had prepared him better he would of still had a hard time. He still asks to go home or go to grandma's house and doesn't understand that stuff is far away. But he will get used to it eventually.
Isaac is learning lots and lots every day, I love it! He said his first prayer with help last night, he is growing up and I love it. He says hi to "friends" at the park lol it's cute. He struggles in nursery still but oh well we will get there.
Jackson is talkative without saying actual words and gestures and points to things. He walks tons and is silly and learning new things all the time. In a little over a month he will be 1, so exciting! Also he squeals a lot and rawrs. And night feedings are gone and just now he is starting to sleep through the night....yay, now my body needs to let me sleep through the night.
We got asked to talk on the 11th so I've been having dreams and nightmares about that while I prepare what to say lol mostly nightmares about how my boys are going to behave.
We have our first ward get together for chili and pie this Saturday so that should be fun seeing people outside of church.
I made a list and we are doing better at scripture study together with the kids, just doing the kid version for now. My personal prayers and church reading, and nightly prayers and fhe on Mondays. Need to work on morning prayers and keeping this a good routine.
We love video chatting with family sometimes it helps Isaac and sometimes it makes it worse, just never know lol
Without getting to go to Sunday school or relief society and sometimes missing most of sacrament it's been hard church wise but I try to read the lessons.
Electronic wise...still a work in progress. I'm better but trying to get Isaac to stop asking to play games on the tablet or watch a show is hard but everything he does is educational.
Jackson a few days ago got the remote handed it to daddy and looked at the tv "um turn it on please" lol this kid is too smart for a 10 month old.
Oh and some sweetness, Isaac has been good at saying I love you in his own cute way, yesterday out of no where he said love you Jackson, it was so sweet. Especially since they don't get along very often.
I'm hoping for us to do some nature hiking soon but we have a few busy Saturday's coming up and don't have a hiking back pack thing for Jackson (I don't want to lug his heaviness and wiggliness around and up and down hills lol since most hikes aren't stroller friendly. If we go I will take pretty Fall pictures don't worry
Thanks to internet we can still stay pretty connected with family and friends from far away which I love
P.s. i'm pretty sure our neighbors dislike us just as much as we may sometimes dislike them....apartment problems

My journey back to Him: Step 1

I’m not sure how exactly to write this so I’m going to be write and hope I didn’t miss anything and hope it’s not all over the place =]  

I think we all have things we want to change about ourselves either physically or spiritually or mentally but admitting we want to and actually taking action is two completely different things.

I’m a pretty lazy person, not completely lazy because with kids I really can’t be but I will admit that I am lazy to some extent.

Also this brings up where there are times when you do take action and start changing but for whatever reason things come up and your progress starts falling and your back to where you were before.

Actually starting is the hardest part, it’s easy to just stay in the comfortable even if it’s not healthy or the best place you can be. We just convince ourselves changing is too hard so I’m just going to stay here for a little while longer and years later your still there, not progressing at all.

My point is when we decided we were going to pick up and move to another state where I had no family and no friends, and a place I had never been to before, it got me thinking. I was really excited for the adventure and of course really scared but I started thinking well maybe now I can change. Not fully knowing the changes I thought I should make I just felt that I probably should change somethings now that I’ve been given this fresh start.

Since moving here these past two weeks my eyes have been opened to a few changes I needed to make. It became this list all from different categories. I’m sitting here knowing I need to change, not that I’m unhappy but knowing I could be happier and it would be better for me in the long run but also really wanting to stay lazy (physically, spiritually, mentally) because it’s just too hard.

Now being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints even though we moved away from friends and family we aren’t fully alone because we’ve got these other members of the church to go to and get to know and learn from and ask for help from. That is really comforting but still a little scary because I’m not one to just go up and talk to people.

Anyways this past Sunday I went to church by myself because the boys were sick but we felt at least one of us should go and get to know more people. I’m really glad I did because I think it gave me a few more things to add to my list and gave me a little bit more of a push to get up and make the changes I needed to make. Now I may have long list of things to change BUT I realize I can’t do them all at once because that’s what makes it harder to complete the list, feeling overwhelmed.

 

The number one on my list I’ve decided to tackle first is in the spiritual department.

I’ve never been a terrible member of the church, I’ve made mistakes like everyone and learned from them. But when I came to this ward I felt a little inadequate because everyone seemed SO spiritual (not saying my past wards weren’t spiritual or the people I know aren’t, it just showed it to me in a different way or my eyes were more open to see it then usual), partly because I only knew them on Sunday. It made me realize that I’ve been doing the: go to church, serve others, don’t drink, and don’t swear….etc. I’ve realized I’ve just been coasting, no huge inclines and no huge downfalls, just resting at this pace, settling. My first thought was how can people be this spiritual? I’ve had my spiritual moments but not very many, when I looked back at journal entries I remember the spiritual moments and how I felt but it had been awhile.

 It’s hard for me to admit this for several reasons. 1. It makes me feel like I’m a bad person even though tons of us out there probably are just coasting through life. 2. I don’t like feeling exposed and whenever I cry in front of someone or I’m telling my faults, that’s exposing myself and I feel naked and I don’t like that. Afterwards you always seem to feel better but during the process it’s not that fun.

A few days ago I thought one way to start this journey of being more spiritual among other ideas is to read the book “21 days closer to Christ” by: Emily Freeman, again. Now you can read a chapter a day or take your time. I decided that once I felt like I accomplished whatever that day/step/chapter required that I would move on.

The first day’s invitation is: come. Basically he asks at the end what fills your nets and distracts you from coming and seeing/hearing Christ. I realized one of my big ones is electronics: phone, facebook, tv, movies, Instagram….etc. I knew I had this problem but just haven’t done much about it. Anyways so here goes to less tv/ phone time and more time focusing even more on my kids, my husband, Christ, and our home.

“As members of the church, we are charged to not let our resolve dribble out and our commitment to follow the Savior evaporate. We must be firm as a rock in living the gospel.” –Robet D. Hales

In spare moments I’ve decided to read a few more inspirational type books as well, so one we have that I’ve never read it called “Return” By: Robert D. Hales

I think I picked a good one so far!

I will blog more after I feel I’ve learned something important to share, or I’ve completely most of the step, and when I start a new change on my list.

Your more than welcome to suggest good spiritual books you’ve read, preferably LDS ones but if it isn’t I will still look into it.

Within two days I have noticed a slight difference, and enjoyed more one on one time with my kids and I think they’ve really enjoyed that. =] Have a fantastic weekend!

Goodbye & Hello

Here we are in Oregon...
We've said quite a few goodbyes to family and friends before we left. It wasn't too hard because we weren't leaving yet so it felt like it wasn't really happening but then the day of it wasn't so easy to say bye to my dad. Byes are not so fun even if you know you will see them again. I've never been very far away from my parents. The longest was 5 hours away at college in Idaho.
Everything went slowly then really quickly. Thankfully my father in law helped us with the move and my mom came along to help with the kids and unpacking.
I wouldn't have survived the drive with the boys by myself so glad my mom was there to help. We did pretty good though. We made it to baker city Oregon and rested up for the next days drive. We arrived Wednesday at 2:30 and the truck almost all unloaded. So we started the fun of unpacking. We got unpacked in about two days. Would of taken longer if I didn't have my mom helping out. Then we explored our new home town. There are a lot of fun things and somethings are different.
We love the park that's 5 mins away and next to it is a carousel ride so yay
Our ward is a pretty good size and they all seem nice. It's still going to take some time to make new friends and get use to everything. It's weird not really knowing anyone, and scary.
It helps having the kids keep me busy, they have struggled though. We dropped grandma off to the airport yesterday and once we did Isaac started asking where's grandma, it broke my heart but she can't stay forever with us. It will take time for him to stop asking for his normal visitors but we will skype or do hangouts to keep in touch. Isaac is sleeping pretty well and Jackson is still adjusting but is also teething so we are taking one step at a time and mommy takes naps sometimes too. I'm LOVING the terrible twos...not! Moving sure didn't help that. He pushes a lot of buttons. But we have an awesome library and has cool storytime.
Moving from a home to an apartment isn't fun because of dogs barking and noisy neighbors but it's not terrible. And I always worry my kids crying will keep a neighbor up too.
So goodbyes are never fun but hellos can be exciting....welcome to our new adventure living in oregon. Here's to a fresh start!
(Side note in about two years or less we will buy a house)

Oregon bound soon

We put our house up for sale around July 2nd I believe for 130,000 and July 3rd we had three people come to look at our house. That night we got an offer for 120,000 which was too low so we counter offered and they counter offered back, the highest they could go was $125,000. But someone was coming to view it Monday so we decided to see if that person would make an offer, they knew we had an offer already. Tuesday we got an offer from them of 135,000 and a letter explaining how much they wanted our house :) it was sweet, but a better offer so we accepted!
Then became the process of them getting an inspection on the house and an appraisal. We don't know what it was appraised for but we know it was at least 135,000 so yay
So all of that took sometime but we close today (august 17th) and they get the house Tuesday. We then had a very quick trip to Oregon where spencer had a 2nd job interview for the state, two days later we find out he got the job! He will be a market analyst for the state of Oregon. A couple days ago we were running out of apartments that were available when we needed to move. He starts September 1st at his new job. So we had to look for a little higher price range and got accepted to that apartment within two hours. A few days later we accepted. Last week we moved into my parents basement so we could clean up the house.
It all happened pretty fast but were times where we had to be patient while we waited for final answers.
We will pack up the moving truck next Monday and Tuesday the 25th we move to Oregon
I'm filled with LOTS of emotions!! Excitement at living in a new place and being closer as a small little family. And a new adventure
Worry of being a little more on my own and having to start over again (in a way)
No friends or family so have to meet new people an make new friends
Trying not to forget everything we have to do in the process of moving lol
We will live in an apartment for a year to get used to the area and spencer focus more on his new job instead of fixing a house. An we will know what kind of area we want to live in and is fairly safe area.
Wish us luck! And anyone is welcome to come visit... Family wise it's 12 1/2 hours from tooele Utah, 12 hours from Palmdale California and 12 hours from rexburg, Idaho
I have our new address so if anyone wants it let me know :)
Since everything has gone so fast and been fairly smooth it confirms that moving is what was the plan for us. That helps calm some nerves

kelly clarkson 2015

August 8th was Kelly Clarkson and I got to go with my best friend!!! We first went to olive garden for an early dinner, crazy enough our waitress had a relative that is Kelly's limo driver for her concerts here in the salt lake area. Sweet!
 Channelle and I do our normal catch up and talk 😀
Then we get to our seats which were fairly close to her yay
There were three openings which I think is silly but they were all good!
Sarah an ?
Eric Hutchinson
Pentatonix
She came out finally around 9:30 and once she comes out I always get SO excited!
I knew the words to all but one song!
During the middle of breakaway song she saw a baby in the small pit area and asked the mom if she could hold him lol and of course she said yes and Kelly picked him up and stopped singing lol
You can just tell she would be an amazing friend and mom. So funny, loving and sweet.
Her back up singers are amazing and had a musical number
My voice hurt but so worth it. It ended around 11
I got home around 12:30 and Channelle and I will still make it work to go to her future concerts together even though we will live 12 hours apart :(
Always some of my favorite nights and memories

Oregon

First let's start off with a random dream
I've had this dream before and I'm not a fan of it. It's me and my family we go to a hotel and then leave our room to go meet family or something and when we go back our floor level or room is gone it's like floor 2 doesn't exist and we look all over and I get panicky and maybe hours later I find it and it's back. This one at one point I think one of our kids or one and my husband was in the room but yet it was gone and I worried.
It's scary
Of course I have this dream when I'm in a hotel room without my husband and without my babies.

Anyway side note in about a week we will be putting our house up for sale. Every time spencer thinks of us moving Oregon comes to mind
And recently it's been we need to move sooner then later, for sure sometime in the next 3 years
He doesn't have a job there just yet but if our house sells before he gets a job we will probably move into an apartment in salt lake
An then in Oregon we would be in a apartment for a year maybe so we can find a good area (with no weirdos) and buy a house.
I'm pretty excited but also nervous
I would really miss my parents being so close by to help when I needed it and it would be hard not knowing anyone there
But it would be nice to move to a place neither of us has a past in to really start our lives as a family making our own memories together
It will be hard but easier with the kids not being in school yet
I just thought I would give everyone a heads up