Finally 2nd Trimester Baby 3

I'm 13 weeks pregnant, some books say 14 is when the 2nd trimester starts but some say 13 so i'm going with 13.

Oh gosh guys I've been feeling a lot better but still get sick occasionally and still just don't feel like myself so days are hard.

#3 just isn't a great one for me. But we are surviving and i'm looking more pregnant but also fatty chubby feeling :/ but such is life one you've had a few kids =]

Working out has been great, I still struggle with knowing whats too much and wanting to do things I know I shouldn't while pregnant so sometimes I get frustrated.

My emotions are all over the place guys which doesn't make it easy on my children because I feel their all over the place too. And the poor husband! =]

I've felt the baby move a tad here and there and felt it hiccup and LOVE sleeping on my right side which is interesting cuz that's where the baby is so I fear I'm squishing it.

Someone asked me what was one thing I loved about this pregnancy....and to be honest my only thoughts are that I was blessed to be pregnant again and that it could maybe be a girl but other then that I truly have not loved it much at all.

Just darn food, I know some people wished they didn't love food so much but honestly guys it is NOT fun especially when working out or pregnant because you HAVE to eat more to feel good but its not easy. I know it doesn't make sense to people but its always been a huge struggle and I feel like it gets worse with each pregnancy. I'm leaning on this very well being our last baby but years down the line will tell.

Now will be monthly pictures. I've gained nothing if anything I've lost again.... but we shall see I have an appointment tomorrow.

Also all the pants I normally wear I can't button comfortably.... just my khakis left and one pair of jeans that I kept for in case I got bigger haha So very soon maternity pants will be coming out.

On a side note guys i'm obsessed with Romeo & Juliet, my favorite movie version lately is 2013 version....I think its beautifully done. Its not the best story if you read what all their weird language means but I think its a beautiful sad story the way I think of it. And I don't care to change my thinking. (the main characters are Hailee Steinfeld & Douglas Booth) I rented it from the library which let me have it for 3 weeks I've watched it 3 times and would love to watch it more but its long so it makes it difficult to watch with the boys cuz I don't like to pause and come back to it later.

Go Team

There is a scripture somewhere that says "Behold your little ones", it doesn't matter where it is but just remember that line.
As a parent I think of that line often because our children and teach us so much!
They can teach us what we are doing wrong by what they constantly do and repeat because they've learned from us. (That can be quite an eye opener lol)
I think it was Saturday Jackson was napping and Isaac all of a sudden said hey guys come here and he stuck his arm/hand out straight and explained he wanted daddy, and mommy to put our hands on top of his hands. lol And Then he said go team and we all threw our hand up.
I have no idea where he learned this, we are not sports people so he wouldn't of seen this from a game on tv. My guess is from a kid show on Netflix.
Anyway the point is the sweetness in him doing that got me thinking. One he is smart, sweet, and adorable and I love him!
But in him doing that (and he has us do it every so often too, Jackson included if he isn't napping)
made me realize We are a team! Our little family is a team and we should always be encouraging, supporting and loving each other.
I think most of the time we are all on different pages and struggling with different things so it isn't always easy to be understanding or loving when we ourselves might not feel at our best. And sometimes we've grown up to a point that we forget that little things are really hard for kids to go through and a lot of times I find myself saying your fine get over it or stop! When they truly don't understand and I should be a lot more sympathetic. Now they are young to the point that they don't always understand why I can't be like normal when I don't feel well. Or that maybe when i'm throwing up you should not surround me and bug me but give me space and leave the bathroom lol (doesn't matter if I shut the door cuz Isaac can open it)

So i'm trying to be a team player (i'm not great at that) and us all be a team together always rooting for one another.

Side note I am feeling a little better each day but if I don't eat or drink for a little bit (I get distracted or busy with things) I will get super weak, dizzy, sleepy and feel very ill. So if I can keep up on eating and drinking i'm usually doing okay. My next appointment is on the 18th so we shall see how things are going, should actually hear the heartbeat this time instead of just seeing it (I always heard it a lot earlier with the boys, these doctors are just different)

Jackson turned 2 Saturday, but in my mind he's been 2 for awhile so it wasn't that crazy of a thing lol

Then emotionally I feel like I've lost myself a bit since being pregnant and that's hard because it took me a year to get to a pretty good place so I've been struggling a bit but the more I feel better the better I will hopefully get. 1 pair of pants I have to use a hair tie to button my pants so belly is getting bigger but it still seems like chub more then baby. And I my have a UTI which I've NEVER had before, I think i'm fine but some test results came back a bit off but haven't gotten a phone call from the doctors yet. (they post the results online so I can see them before they call about them)

ooh Friday I started going to the gym again, I hate that I can't do much (I want to run so bad lol) but it made me feel good! I have earned points for daycare for a month for 1 kid so will do evenings for now so Isaac can come with me and Jackson can stay home with daddy. It might be walking on a treadmill or doing bicycle for a bit until I can get back in it a little more. OH boy did I miss the gym, and will miss it so much once my contract is up (I think end of December) thankfully we have a small gym at the apartment complex but it wont be the same lol

Baby # 3

It doesn't matter what other people think but I'm not surprised if people think us having another so soon is crazy. I'm right there with you!
It's a bigger space then between Isaac and Jackson (they are 17 months apart). Jackson and this baby will be 2 1/2 years apart, but it is still close!

We planned to wait longer for another and I was totally fine with that because Jackson is mister adventure and destroyer. But out of no where I was constantly bombarded with things about having another baby and baby hungry very soon kicked in after that. And kept attacking me lol
So eventually I decided I should pray about it and see if I was interpreting all of this correctly. And I felt it was the right time to have another one.

If it's crazy or not apparently this baby was meant to come into our lives sooner then later. And when that second lined showed up even though very faint, there was no turning back lol
I was about 3 1/2 weeks when I found out so this first trimester has been LONG!!! I've always been quite miserable so it's not been very fun or easy this time around.

I was okay for a little while, then I started feeling nauseous all the time but needed to eat but rarely any food sounded good. Then would get sick. And I'm pretty sure I got at least 2 stomach bugs and have now been hit with a massive cold. Past pregnancies I've gotten colds and things but this time around anything I've gotten has been in massive form and hit me hard.

I wouldn't say i'm tired all the time but need to at least get a small nap in the middle of the day even if only for 15 minutes.

I feel super emotional a lot of the time and i'm pretty sure part of that is because I'm always a mix of hungry, tired, and sick so have short amounts of patience.

My boys have been fairly decent and sweet. Isaac is super excited but doesn't understand it will be a long wait until its here. Jackson has no idea what's going on, he's going to struggle I'm sure.

I'm the type of person that loves going places and getting out of the house but with this pregnancies I have very little desire and it's rough on the boys and I.

This baby is being sent to me to teach me some major things (good or bad I don't know) but we will just wait and see. It's been such a different experience this 3rd time around. I just try to make it through one hour at a time.

Now of course lots of people think its a girl because its been so different from me but we will see. Would I love a girl, yes! but I would totally be fine if it was another boy, I've already got all the clothes lol

I will be 11 weeks on Wednesday, due date is May 24th 2017, a week before Isaac turns 4 =]

Other random side effects: my face is full of zits, and my hair is fairly dry and brittle. I ate frozen peaches and blueberries for awhile and craved fruit at the beginning. I don't crave much though its usually something random at random times and wont last long.

I lost 3 lbs from 6 week appointment to my 10 week appointment. The first ultrasound went great, it was measuring exactly where I thought it should be. And the 10 week appointment was the same thing, measuring exactly how it should be. The first picture I got was awesome because the face looks like a face! it's amazing! I'm hoping they let me get the 20 week ultrasound to know gender a few weeks earlier so the gender can be a Christmas surprise for family but we shall see. ( the baby might not even corporate)

Anyways its been full of excitement and lots of worries and wow were gonna have 3 kids! We will be outnumbered, so we are helping Isaac be a bit more independent and probably a month before the baby comes we will hopefully get a bigger car, it just wouldn't work in our small car with 3 big car seats.

Thanks for all the love we have gotten! A worry i'm always going to have is this time my mommy isn't close but thankfully that we have great friends that can help when the time comes. =]

The picture doesn't show it very well but there is a very faint line! Later I had to do blood tests to check my HCG level so that was the confirmation that yes I was pregnant.

do you see the face!! its upside down but its labeled head and I swear I see a nose and mouth etc.

Doing whats important

Do you ever have days where you don't feel well it could be physically, emotionally, or mentally.
I find when I'm like either of those I start slacking or have been slacking on important things. When you feel miserable its hard to really want to do anything but binge on Netflix, pinterest, etc.
There are times you physically can't do much and that's okay.
But I was reminded of doing whats important even when you don't feel like it.
What I mean by this is saying your prayers morning and night and not just when you need strength to get through the trial but to also express gratitude for things. And to read/study your scriptures and be reminded that so many others went through tough things and they survived. And maybe even be thankful your not going to war and experiencing bloodshed and death (I know some people are experiencing this) And don't compare your trials to others because people are given what they can handle even though at the time it may not seem you can handle it. God knows us!
And then to put your device down or turn off the tv and focus on something different, if you have children, your children! Change up the routine a little. And especially be grateful and love your spouse.
Lastly don't focus so much on the ailment you are going through.  

In the end I always remind myself "This too shall pass" and a friend reminded me of this quote "Life is to be enjoyed; not just endured"

Have a Heavenly Day =]

One Year

It's hard to believe tomorrow will be a WHOLE year we've live in Oregon. Lately it's felt like we've been here a lot longer then that. Almost instantly Oregon felt like Home!
We've all grown up physically, mentally, and spiritually. We are still learning a few ins and outs of Oregon but have been here for every season and I can say summer is my favorite because i'm not a huge fan of the rainy season which is most of the year, my body craves that sunshine in the summer and MAN does it deliver! HOT HOT! We are still making new friends and decided when to make more changes.
I wanted to list the people that i'm so grateful to, because they helped shape me and change me into a better version of myself or they became an amazing friend. I decided I wouldn't list names because I don't want to forget anyone, I just hope if your reading this that you already know that I truly appreciate the friendship! There are a good handful of you that I want to always be close to!
We've had ups and downs since living here but i'd like to say more ups!

Isaac is 3 now & Jackson is almost 2, I can't even describe everything they've learned since we first arrived! Maybe I will just put side by side comparisons of how they've changed physically =]

 

I'm grateful for the opportunity and feeling that we had to move out here. It will always be one big turning point in my life that made everything better! Do we still miss being close to family & friends....we sure do! That's why we always plan to visit maybe once every year and you all are welcome to come visit this beautiful place!
There is still SO much to look forward to and explore here and I truly can't wait to grow stronger physically, spiritually, and mentally.

Change can be sad, exciting, and scary! Deep breathe, prayer, scripture reading, good nights sleep, and a good work out (and obviously some girl talk) make it all easier. (maybe some junk food too)

I will always update every so often as new things happen to us but for now we are just enjoying our life that we've built here so far and the friendships we've made!

Analyzing yourself

We've been in Oregon for 11 months! I feel like I've lived here my whole life, I feel so connected to Oregon. Most of that is because within these 11 months I feel I've grown so much more then I grew in the last 24 years of my life.
Yesterday I was reflecting on how many things I've changed either big or small and how I've stuck with those changes. And i'm constantly seeing all these other things I would like to change. And taking on new changes little by little. (too many changes at once could soon all fall apart)

Just to list a few changes I've made:

Working out, started in November or October and I haven't stopped! And I've come a long way! I now don't rely on classes to keep me going or other people to keep me going. I go because I want to grow and become the best version of myself. I now don't mind doing work outs by myself and I even found a work out routine I do on my own and sometimes I even add to it. I can tell i'm getting stronger. (eating healthy is a different story lol i'm better but not like I should be)

Since that dentist appointment of bad news I've been SUPER awesome at keeping my teeth even more clean before and they feel great! Our the cavities gone....don't know yet but i'm proud of myself.

Scripture reading EVERY morning, I still do it! I've learned so much, and found such comfort and power in the scriptures and some amazing scriptures that touched my heart. Along with this I also still do my personal morning and evening prayers!

Also EVERY evening as a family we read scriptures together and say prayer! And even though the kids rarely ever sit still and listen to it I know its making an impact. Isaac will now say "we need to read our scriptures" if we didn't grab them before we went in their room yet. That touches my heart!

I was talking last night with a very sweet friend of mine and did my typical explaining how I over think EVERYTHING! And jump to negative conclusions and explained why I think I do what I do etc.
And she goes it seems like you have thing figured out.

I had never thought about that before. I know myself more then I thought I knew myself. (there are still things I haven't figured out) I analyze myself SO much but in doing that I've found the why the things I do which then helps me know what to do and how to start to fix them.

One by one of course but when I know i'm ready to take the huge steps the change whatever the thing is then I stick with it. You have to get in that low and deep thinking to realize you don't want to feel that way anymore so "lets make a change" comes into your head.

We are just all always so hard on ourselves but people don't always see all those things in us.
I once got pointed out about my hand gesturing while I talk, I never realized I did it. But a friend once said the way I did it was beautiful and that I shouldn't stop doing it. I never would have thought about it that way.

I've felt so much living in Oregon and we've figured out the next steps we want to take as a couple and a family and we go on adventures together and loving every minute of it! I'm a full of gratitude and love. I've learned my lows and what to try and do to escape those moments and who's true and helps make my life whole.

-Family updates-
Isaac- He is potty trained, it went A LOT better then I expected and he is just so cute and grown up. I just love it! He also moved to a toddler bed and did an AMAZING move to that too. We got rid of the crib and he cried "don't give away my bed, that's my baby bed." it was so sad and I didn't think he would be so upset about it.

Jackson- Tried the toddler bed....he still needs to be restrained haha He is learning so many new words and his new favorite is "mine" so that's been a blast to hear daily. He is learning to crawl up bigger things. And he LOVES cheese.

They help each other to get into things but they are so happy, smiley, giggly, and fairly well behaved and i'm just so proud and love them so much! (i'm sure I missed something)

The end of life

My last grandparent passed away on Monday, Grandma Moore (my moms mom). I think death in general always makes you think about life more deeply. I knew it was coming soon and I wasn't totally sad because the last few years of her life she was slowly slipping away but doesn't mean I didn't ache over it.
In general though i'm not one to cry right away when i'm hurt especially in front of people. Maybe its because I feel it makes me weak or when I do cry I then can't control it. It's not easy to stop and i'd rather not look like a mess in front of people and so exposed. But maybe not crying also makes people think i'm being rude..... I am usually more broken inside over things then I may look on the outside. Neither way is wrong but just thought i'd explain who I am.

So fairly last minute I quickly got a plane ticket and Spencer stayed home with the boys and I headed to Iowa. My sweet friend dropped me off at the airport Wednesday morning and I arrived in Iowa Wednesday night.

Back story: My parents are both originally from Iowa and most of the family has stayed in Iowa, since moving to Utah we don't get to go see them very often. It was sad it took my grandmas death to get pretty much all of us there but it was MUCH needed!

My family especially the Tripp side (my moms side) are weird and crazy and I love it!

My parents picked my brother and I up from the airport and my sisters were already in the car. The little drive to my Uncle Fred's house brought back awesome memories from growing up. It rarely ever is just the parents and us kids alone now that we all have little families of our own. The joking around and laughing just made me so happy that I could be there.

Side note: I had no phone service while in Iowa :/ which was super hard for me lol If I had internet I could do a few things but I was phoneless. I think I really needed to be though.

Thursday afternoon we went over to my Uncle Larry's house to get together with more family before the viewing that evening. BEST DAY EVER, we all laughed so hard my cheeks hurt and I got a headache. I just loved every minute of it, it brought back fun times as a kid only this time I was part of the grown up crazy conversations. So our family is crazy especially all together but what I love is our relationship status's are all different, we are different color, and different religions, and now live all over but when we come together that doesn't matter at all! We have so much love and life for each other. It touched my heart and made me realize how important and amazing relationship with family is. You don't have to see each other daily to know that we care.

The viewing was interesting. I think open caskets are good and bad and everyone thinks differently. For me the few days before she died the pictures I saw of her were horrible, it wasn't the grandma I knew and remembered. When I saw it was open casket I was very nervous. But when I saw here WOW she looked AMAZING! And it made me not so sad but I will say she looked like a wax figure and when I would glance over I kept thinking she was going to pop awake lol
For me I would rather see once quick and then close and be done. Sadly I had to see her for multiple hours like that and for two days.
I've also noticed sometimes I crack jokes to distract myself from situations like that.

Lots of people came, and were so sweet and all reacted so differently. I was really glad to be there for my mom though, and that all of us kids could be. And all of my Grandmas kids came too :)
-I didn't realize how long we were going to be there so I went from 12-8pm with no food. I felt like a little complaining kids cuz I was STARVING and dizzy from lack of water and food but I made it through! lol We didn't really know everyone even though most was family so it was hard to just sit around doing nothing. They spoke a little at the end. Her second eldest son, my uncle spoke and we learned that she had a really hard life. I never would have guessed! And then he read a letter that my mom wrote to her....that is when my tears almost came. What a beautiful written letter!
Afterwards we went out to eat pizza and it was delicious and hit the spot!!

Friday morning was the funeral. We got up early and ready and headed to the church. I would like to point out that this was the firsts viewing and funeral that I stayed for everything and this is the first non Mormon funeral I've been too.
We as a family had to surround and watch them close the casket, wow that's really hard. I think because its closing her off and you truly wont see her on earth again. I could of cried then but I held back because I wasn't going to cry, I wasn't going to let myself do that because I know she is in a better place, and happy and healthy and I will see her again.

After that was the service, to be honest I felt SUPER uncomfortable over it. Its just a lot I don't know, and not what we do funeral wise. And when you don't know why they do what they do and don't know when to repeat things you feel weird. But it was interesting to watch. Then we met at the graveyard to say a few words and they buried her.

Later we all met again to hang out and then even later to talk and laugh some more. It's a beautiful thing and I think she would be truly happy that a lot of us all could come and we enjoyed our time together.

Saturday morning my dad dropped me off at the airport. I was ready to come home and Spencer did an amazing job watching the boys and I'm very thankful to him!

On my first flight this video came to mind
Men's Hearts Shall Fail Them- Elder Russell M. Nelson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMwKxmTLaCs

And as I was on that plane looking out the window at the wing, I thought to myself if this plane were to come crashing down how would I feel. And wow Peace, and calm enveloped me. I felt such at peace with my life and how i'm living it and the choices I've made lately that if I had to die in that moment I was really okay with it. (the crashing and painful part of the plane going down wouldn't be awesome to feel and look forward to lol) And how much love I felt from Heavenly Father that he was proud of the choices I have been making. I would hate to leave my loved ones behind but I knew that if it was time, I was at total peace with it. It opened my eyes to life and how blessed I truly am. Doesn't mean that i'm mistake free or that I won't continue to do somethings wrong but that I am on the right path and I know he is very happy with me. A scripture had come to mind with this, its one of my favorites: John 14: 27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

I safely arrived home and missed my husband and kids so much and I know they missed me <3
It was a trip that I didn't know I needed, but I feel changed and refreshed!

I miss Grandma Moore but it was her time and I know that she is looking down on all of us and smiling. And that even though she had some very hard moments in life she let them go and put them in the past, which is what we all should do. Move forward =]